wasted12years
Overlord
★★★★★
- Joined
- Aug 15, 2018
- Posts
- 9,424
I've been doing this for the past 7 years. I have conversations with myself atleast two times a week. They are usually 30 mins long. I talk to myself about my current situation, the future, how i feel, what i could have changed in the past, the meaning of life etc. I'm a mentalcel i guess. Even if i had friends i think i would have done this. I do this at work too, as a machinist the machines are too loud so fellow workers won't hear me anyway. It gives me a feeling of comfort and lifefuel, that i'm not alone even though i am.
Just thinking about my life makes me depressed but talking to myself about my life makes me feel sort of happy. That i might have the ability to change it even if it means failing. I never tried changing my life to the better, all the things just came natural with no effort and a little luck, as in getting a job for example but my job sucks. I want to get another job but it wouldn't make much difference. There is no normal occupation i could love, without any education. Theres no freedom in having a job just endless despair until you die/retire. I miss being a NEET. The feeling of knowing you won't have to get up to your prison-like job in the morning made me feel extremely comfortable. I'd rather live in the iron age as a free man until i get killed than slave away my life in the present day.
Just thinking about my life makes me depressed but talking to myself about my life makes me feel sort of happy. That i might have the ability to change it even if it means failing. I never tried changing my life to the better, all the things just came natural with no effort and a little luck, as in getting a job for example but my job sucks. I want to get another job but it wouldn't make much difference. There is no normal occupation i could love, without any education. Theres no freedom in having a job just endless despair until you die/retire. I miss being a NEET. The feeling of knowing you won't have to get up to your prison-like job in the morning made me feel extremely comfortable. I'd rather live in the iron age as a free man until i get killed than slave away my life in the present day.