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Serious When I was a teenager I used to stalk my friends

AutisticBeast

AutisticBeast

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Around 2005-2007 I was 13-15 and looking back I think this behaviour was a symptom of early inceldom and autism (obsessive tendencies). At that time I knew I wasn't normal and I knew I was being left behind because most people at school were kissing girls at the weekend as they went to teenage parties that nightclubs organised in my country. Teenage socialising in rural Ireland was in hotels, the hotels/restaurants had Friday night teenage discos that included a lot of kissing. I never attended a teenage disco once.

So one of my friends lived across the road from me and I would spend my Friday night sitting on the sofa by the window checking if he went away to the teenage disco. I would analyse every car that entered and left his house. I would do this because I didn't want to be left behind as if they went to the party then they would be kissing girls. I remember one time I saw him and his friend coming home from the party and this caused me so much trauma.

It wasn't just parties I worried about, I hated being left out of social gatherings with these friends and I would check their social media page (Bebo) to see when they were last online. I would check at least 10 times a day and it comforted me when they were online as I knew they weren't out socialising without me. I do remember one time in 2005 they went camping without me and this was a brutal pill to swallow.

Most of the socialising we did as a group for just playing soccer at the local sports club field and this came to an end in June 2007, my 2 years of having a group of friends came to an end. As time went on I knew it was over for me as I was one of the few people at school who hadn't kissed a girl, I no longer cared enough to stalk these old friends as the competition was over and I had lost.

I haven't been in contact with these old friends for 8 years and I haven't seen my childhood best friend since 2015. We occasionally texted since then but his messages were short and it was obvious our connection had gone.

Some of these old friends are married now and my best friend has a baby, he is actually truecel tier but was NT enough to find a wife. However one of these old friends seems to be Incel too, he is 31 and has never seemed to have had a girlfriend.I have changed my phone number so it is impossible for my old friends to contact me now.

What a bleak, bleak Truecel life.
 
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Lolimancer

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:feelsbadman:
social exclusion during your most important years is awful and there is nothing one could do about it compared to direct bullying
 
BrazilianLiveMatter

BrazilianLiveMatter

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If you weren't a GrAYcel I would read it, but it's not worth the time
 
Hail The Bloatlord

Hail The Bloatlord

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thank you for sharing
 
wei#3959

wei#3959

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mogs because had friends
 
SlutLiberationFront

SlutLiberationFront

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Brutal. I know these obsessive autistic tendencies very well, as I go through the same thing every day. It's awful.
 
Therapywasaaste

Therapywasaaste

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BrazilianLiveMatter said:
If you weren't a GrAYcel I would read it, but it's not worth the time
Bluecel
 
Izayacel

Izayacel

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BrazilianLiveMatter said:
If you weren't a GrAYcel I would read it, but it's not worth the time
 
Abominationcel

Abominationcel

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Lolimancer said:
:feelsbadman:
social exclusion during your most important years is awful and there is nothing one could do about it compared to direct bullying
 
Lonelycel

Lonelycel

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Being excluded at a young age really cripples you for life, that sad feeling never leaves you, it is so difficult to deal with. Probably the worst thing that can happen to a youngster - ruins your ability to socialise forever.
 
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