over the past few weeks ive been getting increasingly worse derealization and depersonalization to the point where i feel like i am living in some sort of weird CGI animation. I feel incredibly devoid of life and soul i feel like an emotionless drone. Looking at other people irl gives me the chills just because of the fact that i cant believe i am alive, that my heart is still beating, other humans r beginning to appear increasingly less lifelike and more like foreign creatures. I feel more like a ghost than human, i have almost zero social interactions irl anymore except with my mom and co-workers about work related garbage.
Im so deprived of social interaction that I laugh and smile uncontrollably like the joker when i actually get to talk to someone because my mind release a shit ton of dopamine, its really embarrassing
when im not on my PC i will occasionally feel like passing out from intense vertigo and sensory overload, i am worried i somehow caused myself brain damage from LDARing. Strange how this flickering screen that makes my eyes stiing feels more real than my entire life. Sometimes when im alone ill just look at my hands and rub them against my legs or something because i cant even believe that this is it, this is my life, spending it all alone until death, no help for me exists, there is no gf out there for me, there is just this, or suicide.
a minute ago i was literally in the bathroom jsut laying on the carpet for absolutely no reason
i am not even control of my own actions anymore i just do whatever my impulses say, i think my autism is being amplified by severe isolation, ive done even more autistic shit like hide in my closet or garage for an hour or two like rolling around autistically or crying
Im so deprived of social interaction that I laugh and smile uncontrollably like the joker when i actually get to talk to someone because my mind release a shit ton of dopamine, its really embarrassing
when im not on my PC i will occasionally feel like passing out from intense vertigo and sensory overload, i am worried i somehow caused myself brain damage from LDARing. Strange how this flickering screen that makes my eyes stiing feels more real than my entire life. Sometimes when im alone ill just look at my hands and rub them against my legs or something because i cant even believe that this is it, this is my life, spending it all alone until death, no help for me exists, there is no gf out there for me, there is just this, or suicide.
a minute ago i was literally in the bathroom jsut laying on the carpet for absolutely no reason
i am not even control of my own actions anymore i just do whatever my impulses say, i think my autism is being amplified by severe isolation, ive done even more autistic shit like hide in my closet or garage for an hour or two like rolling around autistically or crying
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