Discussion What if feels like to go through life at this point:

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

View: https://youtu.be/clG_1sqOsBs?t=79


I have to admit here that I have a lot of pent up rage.
Though, its not directed at people specifically, its more directed at the falsehood of it all.
But there is more than that, It's frustration.

Often, I just want to scream.
And I do. When I am alone or driving a car.

When mere existences has become so thoroughly unpleasurable, you begin idolizing the struggle.
It is the only thing that keeps you going, that thought that, for some reason unbeknownst to you, you HAVE to keep going.

Of course it is a coping mechanism.

You start worshipping the struggle, everyday is a new fight, a new test.
Sometimes you beg for death, for relief.
But nothing happens.

Your destiny: To be a punching bag.
You even punch yourself, you tell yourself to stop being so self pitying, to stop being a pussy.
You hate yourself with every fiber of your body, you condemn yourself by accusing yourself of having a victim complex or some similar condition.

"Those whom the gods wish to destroy they first make mad ."

Eventually, you begin yearning for martyrdom, you want to redeem yourself in an act of suicidal self destruction for some higher cause.


View: https://youtu.be/Uk_jvU3cULM?t=166



View: https://youtu.be/6PPA-ijxpI8?t=161


Can anyone relate to this? I mean, this desire to go out in a blaze, not of glory, but of an actual blaze, burn to death, to have the flesh torn from your bones, to find carthasis in the utter obliteration of your existance.

 

[Personalityinkwell]

Can anyone relate to this? I mean, this desire to go out in a blaze, not of glory, but of an actual blaze, burn to death, to have the flesh torn from your bones, to find carthasis in the utter obliteration of your existance.

i mean i wanna rope too but i'd rather just quickly blow my head off

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

i mean i wanna rope too but i'd rather just quickly blow my head off

but where is the redemption in that, you are just causing more harm.

 

[Personalityinkwell]

but where is the redemption in that, you are just causing more harm.

what do you mean? i would be putting myself out of my misery

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

what do you mean? i would be putting myself out of my misery

What I am trying to say is that an easy death is not satisfactory, it is too easy, its a cop out.
There is no catharsis in that, no release. You die as you lived, in misery, wallowing in your own shit.
I could not go out like that.

I think most people would agree that men resort to more violent means to take their own lifes.
There might be a connection here.

 

[Personalityinkwell]

What I am trying to say is that an easy death is not satisfactory, it is too easy, its a cop out.
There is no catharsis in that, no release. You die as you lived, in misery, wallowing in your own shit.
I could not go out like that.

I think most people would agree that men resort to more violent means to take their own lifes.
There might be a connection here.

the reason men resort to more violent needs that women is just to succeed. i don't think all the men who use guns to kill themselves are thinking like you, they just wanna die. and popping a few pills in no way guarantees death

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

the reason men resort to more violent needs that women is just to succeed. i don't think all the men who use guns to kill themselves are thinking like you, they just wanna die. and popping a few pills in no way guarantees death

idk, people understimate how ineffective guns are. I have seen bone chilling pictures and videos of guys that tried to blow their head off with shotguns and survived.
I remember one guy only hit the front part of his face from below, his entire frontal skull had become like a hinge made from meat, you could lift his entire face off.
It was very disturbing.

Also, often times male suicide is preceeded by long periods of slow, agonizing self destruction, either through alcohol, drugsl, ldaring or just intentionally overworking themsleves. Since male misery is downplayed and men are ostracized for expressing their need for help, many resort to this kind of behavior as a sort of last outcry.

So, I defintely think that there is a connection between what I wrote and the way men condcut their suicide.
There are plenty of almost non-violent means to safely and painlessly take your own life, like the exist-bag, carbon monoxide death or the rope, when applied correctely.

The loud, over the top suicide is like a final cry for help.

 

[Personalityinkwell]

idk, people understimate how ineffective guns are. I have seen bone chilling pictures and videos of guys that tried to blow their head off with shotguns and survived.
I remember one guy only hit the front part of his face from below, his entire frontal skull had become like a hinge made from meat, you could lift his entire face off.
It was very disturbing.

someone made a thread on this forum describing how to properly kill yourself with a gun. basically if you shoot from below the chin you really aren't shooting enough of your brain, while if you shoot through the roof of your mouth it hits the brain stem and kills you.

and i'm pretty sure he also mentioned how in TV shows that people would shoot themselves from under the chin. it's probably a way to screw over ugly/low status men from roping properly

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

someone made a thread on this forum describing how to properly kill yourself with a gun. basically if you shoot from below the chin you really aren't shooting enough of your brain, while if you shoot through the roof of your mouth it hits the brain stem and kills you.

and i'm pretty sure he also mentioned how in TV shows that people would shoot themselves from under the chin. it's probably a way to screw over ugly/low status men from roping properly

i think people overestimate the size of the brain and understimate how big the frontal portion of the skull + layer of meat & skin is.
Yes, you pretty much have to put the gun in your mouth at a vertical angle to hit your own brain.
And even then you can fuck up and aim too low so it just exits behind your brain, through your spin or the back of the throat.

 

[Personalityinkwell]

i think people overestimate the size of the brain and understimate how big the frontal portion of the skull + layer of meat & skin is.
Yes, you pretty much have to put the gun in your mouth at a vertical angle to hit your own brain.
And even then you can fuck up and aim too low so it just exits behind your brain, through your spin or the back of the throat.

Me and you are the only ones that have posted in this thread so far and its been like an hour

ropefuel unironically

 

[ShadowTheEdgehog]

Me and you are the only ones that have posted in this thread so far and its been like an hour

ropefuel unironically

View: https://youtu.be/UwXQORj2Nzc?t=133

 

[Mecoja]

I can't tell you what it really is
I can only tell you what it feels like
And right now there's a steel knife, in my windpipe
I can't breathe, but I still fight, while I can fight