As most of you probably know, ER had a journal. The journal is publicly accessible here and here, and there is also a diary of a wimpy kid parody of it available. Back when I was younger and still had hope left, I was watching quite a lot of self-improvement YouTubers such as teachingmensfashion (I sometimes watch them today as well, when I get the sudden urge to "fix my life", only to then give up shortly after) and one of the things TMF specifically said is that journaling does good for your mental well-being. That didn't sound like too bad of an idea (although it didn't seem to help much in the case of ER), so I decided that I too would start a journal. However, I never did. Even after buying a whole MacBook, in an attempt to motivate myself to do it and to give me the ability to write my entries from the comfort of my bed, I never actually started doing it. Until today.
Yesterday, I went outside to buy a classic journal. Why I didn't just use the MacBook I had already bought is because having to charge it regularly would probably just demotivate me, and being able to do literally anything else on this thing would likely just lead to me getting distracted and not using it for what I intended. Additionally, reading ER's journal (at least the Diary of a Supreme Gentleman version mentioned earlier) motivated me to do it the old-fashioned way even further. After coming home, eating and then falling asleep because going outside in this heat, as a fatcel, made me feel exhausted, I took the journal, opened it up and just went for it.
I ended up writing a total of 11.5 pages. I sat down for hours and did nothing else besides writing. I did turn on some video in the background but other than that I was not distracted, which is very weird to me as my attention span and motivation is usually very short-lived.
So, do I actually feel better now, like TMF suggested I would? Probably not. I don't think I'd feel any different now if I hadn't written anything but, at the very least, if I ever decide to off myself, if I ever die of natural causes (heart attack or possible future diabetes), or if I ever go ER (unlikely because I am procrastinating getting my driver's license and I don't have access to firearms) people will be able to read it and can at least attempt to understand what it is like to be me.
This quote by EmpLemon seems most fitting when it comes to the question of why journals are useful or important:
But what do you guys think? Should we as incels document our thoughts and experiences like ER did?
Sidenote: Judging by how long my posts usually are and by the fact that two separate people told me that I am pretty good at writing, I suppose writing is a hobby or at least something I somewhat enjoy. What a fucking nerd I am.
Yesterday, I went outside to buy a classic journal. Why I didn't just use the MacBook I had already bought is because having to charge it regularly would probably just demotivate me, and being able to do literally anything else on this thing would likely just lead to me getting distracted and not using it for what I intended. Additionally, reading ER's journal (at least the Diary of a Supreme Gentleman version mentioned earlier) motivated me to do it the old-fashioned way even further. After coming home, eating and then falling asleep because going outside in this heat, as a fatcel, made me feel exhausted, I took the journal, opened it up and just went for it.
I ended up writing a total of 11.5 pages. I sat down for hours and did nothing else besides writing. I did turn on some video in the background but other than that I was not distracted, which is very weird to me as my attention span and motivation is usually very short-lived.
So, do I actually feel better now, like TMF suggested I would? Probably not. I don't think I'd feel any different now if I hadn't written anything but, at the very least, if I ever decide to off myself, if I ever die of natural causes (heart attack or possible future diabetes), or if I ever go ER (unlikely because I am procrastinating getting my driver's license and I don't have access to firearms) people will be able to read it and can at least attempt to understand what it is like to be me.
This quote by EmpLemon seems most fitting when it comes to the question of why journals are useful or important:
But what do you guys think? Should we as incels document our thoughts and experiences like ER did?
Sidenote: Judging by how long my posts usually are and by the fact that two separate people told me that I am pretty good at writing, I suppose writing is a hobby or at least something I somewhat enjoy. What a fucking nerd I am.
