Firstly, I wanna say I don't believe in the idea of a God, but I do believe in the existence of our creators. Maybe, they have died out, but they did initiate the wretched human race we are part of. I've wondered how much control they had in our creation and the course of action we'd take. Are we truly a product of randomness, which was beyond the control of our creators, just like how despite computers, as we know today, being the invention of humans, we have a very little control over it's random outputs? (Technically, we have some level of control, but that's not the point.)
So, it's one of the two. Either this randomness has developed a bias over the years to make us men utterly fucking broken or our creators truly intended for us to be this way. What is this brokenness I'm talking about?
It's the fact that despite drowning in blackpill facts for years, I can't shake the need of a woman. No matter how callous I try to be, if I'm being honest to myself, I'd never be able to abandon a woman in need of help. It'd make me sick to my stomach if I did. It really makes my day when I receive a text from a woman, even though I know I'm just their pastime. I'm usually able to give up on things I can't obtain. I think that goes for most men. But why the fuck does it have to be different when it comes to women?
After wrestling with all these troubled feelings for years, I finally broke down yesterday. But crying doesn't help at all. It only makes it worse for a man, I think. Because things never get better after that and you start regretting it. I'll admit, you find incredible solace for a moment in crying. I know this will continue for me until the end of my days.
I apologise if this post comes across as weird. I'm probably just spewing nonsense without any awareness.
So, it's one of the two. Either this randomness has developed a bias over the years to make us men utterly fucking broken or our creators truly intended for us to be this way. What is this brokenness I'm talking about?
It's the fact that despite drowning in blackpill facts for years, I can't shake the need of a woman. No matter how callous I try to be, if I'm being honest to myself, I'd never be able to abandon a woman in need of help. It'd make me sick to my stomach if I did. It really makes my day when I receive a text from a woman, even though I know I'm just their pastime. I'm usually able to give up on things I can't obtain. I think that goes for most men. But why the fuck does it have to be different when it comes to women?
After wrestling with all these troubled feelings for years, I finally broke down yesterday. But crying doesn't help at all. It only makes it worse for a man, I think. Because things never get better after that and you start regretting it. I'll admit, you find incredible solace for a moment in crying. I know this will continue for me until the end of my days.
I apologise if this post comes across as weird. I'm probably just spewing nonsense without any awareness.
