sennaGTR
Recruit
★★★★
- Joined
- Jul 3, 2024
- Posts
- 388
truecels, we cannot escape places like this.
society is so harrowingly cold, so fucking empty.
My life as of recently has just been coping. I've been going to work, driving around at night, watching movies and TV shows and reading, etc. It's okay, other times it's really good, but it's never great. It's as optimal as I can get. But again, it's as optimal as I can get - it's not ideal.
I ALWAYS have this feeling I can't describe, a state of dissatisfaction with my lack of an ideal life. No matter what I do to distract myself, i'm always a truecel, I'm so isolated, subhuman, non-neurotypical, i'm like a fucking alien. Even in a room full of people I feel fucking alone. Especially when things go from optimal to suboptimal I feel extremely fucking empty and lose all will to continue existing life just gets tiresome at a certain point. On the worst days I try to imagine dying in my sleep, I feel there's no reward in waking up, just a promise of watching time pass and energy expenditure.
so here I am, the only place I can describe this feeling without ridicule. I know a lot of you relate. we're never going to fucking escape this life.
society is so harrowingly cold, so fucking empty.
My life as of recently has just been coping. I've been going to work, driving around at night, watching movies and TV shows and reading, etc. It's okay, other times it's really good, but it's never great. It's as optimal as I can get. But again, it's as optimal as I can get - it's not ideal.
I ALWAYS have this feeling I can't describe, a state of dissatisfaction with my lack of an ideal life. No matter what I do to distract myself, i'm always a truecel, I'm so isolated, subhuman, non-neurotypical, i'm like a fucking alien. Even in a room full of people I feel fucking alone. Especially when things go from optimal to suboptimal I feel extremely fucking empty and lose all will to continue existing life just gets tiresome at a certain point. On the worst days I try to imagine dying in my sleep, I feel there's no reward in waking up, just a promise of watching time pass and energy expenditure.
so here I am, the only place I can describe this feeling without ridicule. I know a lot of you relate. we're never going to fucking escape this life.
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