Normally, there should be joy and fun, and may you laugh at some things that looked a bit awkward in your youth, but for me, it is at the age of about 8-10 that the subhumanness slowly shows and then becomes more and more. No awkward little cuteness and hidden prettiness, just a disgrace for male species.
This hits even stronger if you have been looks-blind all your life like me. I could not tell if a man looks good and a woman looks good - no, the question did not even arise.
But now I see it all: The pictures of my youth consecration are cruel and also in graduation photo I am in the top3 of the worst looking. And I always thought that the boys who were self-confident and funny were popular with the girls are just like that, because thats their nature, but no: they were all the best looking ones. There is only one negative example, and that is because some may blossom during puberty, but still stayed in their pre-adolescent low-hierarchy circles and behavior. (and I think he looked a bit Asian in the face despite being white)
Of course there a moments captured of joy I had as kid, but I have no joy or even nostalgia looking at this now, only indifference, sadness, and the desire to burn this album.
This hits even stronger if you have been looks-blind all your life like me. I could not tell if a man looks good and a woman looks good - no, the question did not even arise.
But now I see it all: The pictures of my youth consecration are cruel and also in graduation photo I am in the top3 of the worst looking. And I always thought that the boys who were self-confident and funny were popular with the girls are just like that, because thats their nature, but no: they were all the best looking ones. There is only one negative example, and that is because some may blossom during puberty, but still stayed in their pre-adolescent low-hierarchy circles and behavior. (and I think he looked a bit Asian in the face despite being white)
Of course there a moments captured of joy I had as kid, but I have no joy or even nostalgia looking at this now, only indifference, sadness, and the desire to burn this album.
