There are those times when i feel the burden of the blackpill is, without any doubt, making my life worse. Being over 30, it's especially heavy.
I say to myself "this is hurting me. even this is all undeniably true this is ruining the few chances of me being happy".
So i try to leave it, abstain from blackpill stuff and move on with my life.
And then it happens: i try to have an online conversation with a woman and this conversation it's going fine, it may even have sexual vibes. Maybe those sexual vibes are initiated by her (it happened, especially when i forced myself to not do that and talking about normal stuff).
Then BAM. The moment i show my face, it's all over. There's this dramatic shift in the tone of the conversation. She become cold, detatched, uninterested. The excuse is always different, maybe she will say that she changed her idea or that she is busy or whatever. Then she disappears.
My face is clean, groomed, but it's a nerdy, non masculine face.
It's not because i said something wrong, because everything was fine until that very moment i've decided to muster my courage and show my face, then suddendly, for no reason other to my face (which i have no control over it), she just gets cold and leaves.
And the few times i asked why, they become defensive and says that it's not because of my looks... but if everything was going fine until i revealed my face, of course it's due to it.
I'm not talking to supermodels, just to normal girls.
When i realize my face is not good enough to make a woman show her sexual side, it's inevitable that i go back to the roots of the blackpill and consider women beings that i have to avoid at any costs because, since my looks cannot grant me the chance to get a woman (this is undeniably true), dealing with them can lead me only to frustration and sadness.
Chad has no doubt, no issues at all. If he shows his face when the woman is already in a good attitude towards you (and often not, see chadfishing experiments) she will just say "wow you are so HOT, let's meet up". Chad has no doubt, no issues, Chad will not go on a forum asking "heyy someone give me advices about women".
Maybe Chad has to "try" with supermodel tier women, just because he has to compete with other Chads, dunno.
But when you realize you have to "try" and feel shame or guilt just because you showed your face you have two choices:
Now, i think to myself: would i be happier if i acted like a cuck? Maybe if i do i'll get a woman that is "lowering herself" due to her reasons and will stay with me, but she will not be sexual with me, she will not desire me.
A lot of words to say something really simple, i know, but sometimes it's necessary.
I say to myself "this is hurting me. even this is all undeniably true this is ruining the few chances of me being happy".
So i try to leave it, abstain from blackpill stuff and move on with my life.
And then it happens: i try to have an online conversation with a woman and this conversation it's going fine, it may even have sexual vibes. Maybe those sexual vibes are initiated by her (it happened, especially when i forced myself to not do that and talking about normal stuff).
Then BAM. The moment i show my face, it's all over. There's this dramatic shift in the tone of the conversation. She become cold, detatched, uninterested. The excuse is always different, maybe she will say that she changed her idea or that she is busy or whatever. Then she disappears.
My face is clean, groomed, but it's a nerdy, non masculine face.
It's not because i said something wrong, because everything was fine until that very moment i've decided to muster my courage and show my face, then suddendly, for no reason other to my face (which i have no control over it), she just gets cold and leaves.
And the few times i asked why, they become defensive and says that it's not because of my looks... but if everything was going fine until i revealed my face, of course it's due to it.
I'm not talking to supermodels, just to normal girls.
When i realize my face is not good enough to make a woman show her sexual side, it's inevitable that i go back to the roots of the blackpill and consider women beings that i have to avoid at any costs because, since my looks cannot grant me the chance to get a woman (this is undeniably true), dealing with them can lead me only to frustration and sadness.
Chad has no doubt, no issues at all. If he shows his face when the woman is already in a good attitude towards you (and often not, see chadfishing experiments) she will just say "wow you are so HOT, let's meet up". Chad has no doubt, no issues, Chad will not go on a forum asking "heyy someone give me advices about women".
Maybe Chad has to "try" with supermodel tier women, just because he has to compete with other Chads, dunno.
But when you realize you have to "try" and feel shame or guilt just because you showed your face you have two choices:
- You sink in the blackpill. "I have an ugly face, so women will not respond in a good way to it". If you do this, it's over. There is no escape and you'll inevitably become frustrated and, probably, even hateful. You realize that you can't blame yourself for something you have no control over, and women act very differently towards good looking people, average looking people and bad looking people. Every experiment, every study, every statistic, everything you see in real life just proves you are right;
- you avoid it, and become a cuck: you pedestalize women so, if something like i've described above happens, you think it's your fault, you believe that suddently the woman had this weird shift not because you showed your face, but because she really "changed her idea" or because you said something wrong. You start hating everything that proves the blackpill, because it proves that you're not wrong, it's just that your face is the problem, so you prefer to defend women at any costs, because it means defending the fact you have no control over women. You prefer to blame yourself, because it's safer. "it's something i did, not something i am", and keep chasing women until, if you're not terrible looking, you will get one, due to the fact you're acting in a "non sexual way" to avoid complication and SOME women (low level ones, insecure ones, ugly ones, old ones or rare exceptions) can give you a chance to become their boyfriend/husband. You just become a weak man in denial, a slave to a woman's will, just because it's your way to escape the brutal reality. You LIE to yourself.
Now, i think to myself: would i be happier if i acted like a cuck? Maybe if i do i'll get a woman that is "lowering herself" due to her reasons and will stay with me, but she will not be sexual with me, she will not desire me.
A lot of words to say something really simple, i know, but sometimes it's necessary.
