Samurai
Jesus Christ Conquers
★★★
- Joined
- Mar 20, 2024
- Posts
- 3,787
1. Growing up without a father
I'm pretty much a manifestation of every statistic you can think of regarding this issue. Behavioural issues, mental health issues, anger problems, expelled from many schools by age 13, maturity issues, didn't know how to be a man, and crippling loneliness. I'll admit I've never recovered from this and I never will. I don't suffer some of the symptoms like I used to, but they're still extremely aparrant on the inside and out.
I did eventually meet my father at age 15, but by then it was too late. He felt more like a social worker who was being forced to spend time with me in lieu of being an actual father. I never loved him, even though I wanted to, and I feel he had those same feelings. When I was 17 I moved in with him due to family problems, but he made me homeless once I refused to get the covid vaccine, he also called me a loser, stupid, useless and even said he didn't love me.
I wish I never met him. I wish I let it remain a mystery and come up with an imaginary scenario in my head, that he died fighting international Jews or something. I don't talk to him anymore.
There are times I used to cry when seeing a father creating beautiful memories with his son, but now I feel emptiness. I'm constantly feeling abandoned.
2. Being vaccinated
I had the MMR vaccine when I was just a small innocent baby. Before I was even two years old my mother noticed something wasn't right and soon I got diagnosed with extreme autism.
At age 11 I suddenly developed a neurological condition that causes me to black out and collapse for 30-60 seconds. I won't go into the illness, but it is a known side affect of the MMR vaccine. I also struggle to sleep.
These things have destroyed my life. People treat me like trash for being autistic as it is, but if they find out about my other condition, they often think of me as a drug addict even though I've never done drugs and never will. My doctor even insinuated once that I have it a lot worse than others and I'm more likely to have sudden death as I get older.
I'm grateful for all the wonderful things that I get to experience in life, but everyday I am reminded by society that I do not belong here. I'm God's lonely man.
I'm pretty much a manifestation of every statistic you can think of regarding this issue. Behavioural issues, mental health issues, anger problems, expelled from many schools by age 13, maturity issues, didn't know how to be a man, and crippling loneliness. I'll admit I've never recovered from this and I never will. I don't suffer some of the symptoms like I used to, but they're still extremely aparrant on the inside and out.
I did eventually meet my father at age 15, but by then it was too late. He felt more like a social worker who was being forced to spend time with me in lieu of being an actual father. I never loved him, even though I wanted to, and I feel he had those same feelings. When I was 17 I moved in with him due to family problems, but he made me homeless once I refused to get the covid vaccine, he also called me a loser, stupid, useless and even said he didn't love me.
I wish I never met him. I wish I let it remain a mystery and come up with an imaginary scenario in my head, that he died fighting international Jews or something. I don't talk to him anymore.
There are times I used to cry when seeing a father creating beautiful memories with his son, but now I feel emptiness. I'm constantly feeling abandoned.
2. Being vaccinated
I had the MMR vaccine when I was just a small innocent baby. Before I was even two years old my mother noticed something wasn't right and soon I got diagnosed with extreme autism.
At age 11 I suddenly developed a neurological condition that causes me to black out and collapse for 30-60 seconds. I won't go into the illness, but it is a known side affect of the MMR vaccine. I also struggle to sleep.
These things have destroyed my life. People treat me like trash for being autistic as it is, but if they find out about my other condition, they often think of me as a drug addict even though I've never done drugs and never will. My doctor even insinuated once that I have it a lot worse than others and I'm more likely to have sudden death as I get older.
I'm grateful for all the wonderful things that I get to experience in life, but everyday I am reminded by society that I do not belong here. I'm God's lonely man.