I'm just sitting here thinking about past blackpills, etc.
I had a friend who was EXACTLY like me, part of why we were good friends, super sensitive mind, played CSGO together all the time, made games in roblox and unity, etc. a little more extraverted than me, but high conscientiousness. we're very very similar personality wise it's uncanny.
The only thing is I am black, short, and sub5. He was white, 6'0 tall and blonde.
as of now, he's had multiple ex girlfriends, he's in a LTR, women actually desire him. He's probably gonna get fucking married to that fucking foid. He used to be based but now he's fully bluepilled, he acts like a normie. It's like being desired by foids turned him into an NPC. From what I hear he pretty much looks down on everything he used to like. He thinks people should touch grass, grow up, be a real man and have offspring, etc.
Meanwhile, I'm rotting away, in a nihilistic spiral of trying to find fulfillment in my life. There is nothing for me, no woman will ever desire me, neurotypicals make me suffer being around them, the only people I can actually enjoy interacting with are others like me, online in places like this because that's where we end up.
ontop of that, we live in a rigged fucking financial system so trying to minimize my suffering and spend time doing things I enjoy is like trying to climb up a mountain, I slave away to continue existing. There's no fulfilent.
I'm tired man. I've felt alien all my life and i've accepted it but as I inch towards my death each day I think about how shitty my cards are. Watching someone with the same interests and habits as me ascend and turn into normie bluepill purely because of looks is one of those shitty realizations.
fucking hell. life is suffering. Some just get to suffer less than you and have lives that are easier to endure. I guess I can just keep coping until I die and be glad I didn't have something horrific and painful happen to me today like losing a limb or some shit.
I had a friend who was EXACTLY like me, part of why we were good friends, super sensitive mind, played CSGO together all the time, made games in roblox and unity, etc. a little more extraverted than me, but high conscientiousness. we're very very similar personality wise it's uncanny.
The only thing is I am black, short, and sub5. He was white, 6'0 tall and blonde.
as of now, he's had multiple ex girlfriends, he's in a LTR, women actually desire him. He's probably gonna get fucking married to that fucking foid. He used to be based but now he's fully bluepilled, he acts like a normie. It's like being desired by foids turned him into an NPC. From what I hear he pretty much looks down on everything he used to like. He thinks people should touch grass, grow up, be a real man and have offspring, etc.
Meanwhile, I'm rotting away, in a nihilistic spiral of trying to find fulfillment in my life. There is nothing for me, no woman will ever desire me, neurotypicals make me suffer being around them, the only people I can actually enjoy interacting with are others like me, online in places like this because that's where we end up.
ontop of that, we live in a rigged fucking financial system so trying to minimize my suffering and spend time doing things I enjoy is like trying to climb up a mountain, I slave away to continue existing. There's no fulfilent.
I'm tired man. I've felt alien all my life and i've accepted it but as I inch towards my death each day I think about how shitty my cards are. Watching someone with the same interests and habits as me ascend and turn into normie bluepill purely because of looks is one of those shitty realizations.
fucking hell. life is suffering. Some just get to suffer less than you and have lives that are easier to endure. I guess I can just keep coping until I die and be glad I didn't have something horrific and painful happen to me today like losing a limb or some shit.
