As a young 5 year-old child, I was thought to be special, or retarded. Looking back at it, I would've thought too since I had so much energy.
I really liked girls, but I was whipped. I don't know if it's just kids being kids, but I was whipped. Gave the nice markerboards to the cute girls.
I jestermaxxed often from a young age. It was sometime when I was 11 when I realised girls just didn't like me. Not a lot of the boys did either unless I was jestermaxxing. I hung around weebs and gaming fans despite not indulging either. When I eventually played Minecraft, everyone else was suddenly too cool for it.
I placed a Chad's jacket on my head for fun when I was 11 to catch his attention in yard, and then he made some reference that he'd have to put it in the bin and all the toilets laughed. Something in me just faded, like I knew there was something wrong with me in that moment but I ignored it and got fat, eating away my feelings. Foids started to use my overweight nature against me soon after. When I wasn't jestermaxxing or trying to appeal by sharing out by Diary of the Wimpy Kid series out to my class, everyone ignored me. I still remember when this Americanfag student joined our class and farted, everyone blamed me despite knowing it wasn't me. I know this is really stupid to get caught on...but I fucking know it was because of my looks compared to him. That was the only reason. I was also accused of touching a girl's backside despite literally playing takedown with the other boys and everyone was giving me dirty looks. What the fuck?
I coped through high-school by pretending like it was just because I was fat, and I needed to lose the weight. I jestermaxxed for the first few years even though I participated in an all-male Christian high-school. It was sometime in my last second year I just stopped giving a fuck about these cunts. Okay, I understand women. Why the fuck are YOU as a man getting angry at me for being ugly or fat?
I didn't even watch anime or read manga until my last year of high-school, so it wasn't because of weird hobbies.
On graduation, they all cheered for me for no fucking reason whatsoever to the point even the staff were shocked. I played it off but I know it was because they all saw me as a stupid joke. Fucking rodents. If I was in America...
Foid interaction stopped after I left 'middle'-school anyways. An all-male high-school saved me from it. I lost a lot of weight, and I'm fit, and nobody cares.
"Oh, Delirious, you used to be so big and bubbly. Look at this video I had of you jogging in a shirt!"
Even now as a 19 year old getting ready to go to University, I literally don't know if everyone in high-school saw me as an inside joke. Why? I understand me being picked to go in goals is because I was big, but why cheer every time I do something basic, or get super impressed if I do good in a test?
I hate everyone. I'm the only realcel on this fucking forum. It's insane how you can be shaped for the rest of your life due to no natural positive re-enforcement in school. I have not met one single person, or been called by anyone during summer-break despite attempting to reach out a few times for the sake of being nice to the few people that were chill.
The only positive moment I had was having this crush on a cute girl who also lived in my neighbourhood, and she tolerated me enough to roller-skate around and chat. But her skinhead dad checked me once and I stopped trying to be over-friendly with her white daughter. This was when I was 8.
