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SuicideFuel True fucked up mentalcel trait: You are afraid of happiness and actually having someone in your life.

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Made in Heaven

Made in Heaven

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If you're never happy you can't risk being sad
 
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Made in Heaven said:
If you're never happy you can't risk being sad
 
bigantennaemay1

bigantennaemay1

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No, surprisingly that's one of the few things I don't fear.
 
mortyposter

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This one hit too close to home as an autistic lone wolf incel.
 
Lonelycel21

Lonelycel21

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Can kinda relate to this, whenever I try to social circle Maxx in a public place like school, college etc initially it looks like I have a decent social life but then it just gets worse. I don't know what is wrong with me but they either start getting annoyed with me because I stay or do some stupid stuff or they start making fun of me. This is the reason I have social phobia coz I know in the end I am either gonna get abandoned or made fun of by normies. I have tried my best to make friends but I always fail so no one can fucking say to me that I always just sit in my house. I have actually tried my level best but I guess I have some mental problem which prevents me from having a decent life :fuk:
 
Sadandangrycel

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I've been sad my whole life so feeling happy would be so alien to me
 
SlutLiberationFront

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Sadandangrycel said:
I've been sad my whole life so feeling happy would be so alien to me
You can come to such a state where there is no coming back, your whole life will just be empty. Nothing will ever be enough for you or make you happy or satisfied.
Days ago I had one of the best things ever, lots and lots of food that I really like, unlimited, in a nice part of the city and all, but I was still so fucking depressed all the time, started having flashbacks of the horrors I've experienced, looking at my food and realising that I was coping with something s temporary that was not even giving me anything back anymore, while other people are actually feeling good and have things that add meaning to their lives
2 birthdays were taking place in the restaurant, everyone cheering, so happy, and I was miserable as fuck remembering all the time I've been alone, all the birthdays that were just one more day... one more day where the earth had completed its orbit around the Sun in my time alive, nothing to add, only things to keep haunting me. There it was, the oppositve of what I always had, in double dose, right in my face. I don't know what to say about it, I'm still trying to find words for the feelings of loss that I have, loss of something I've never had. They were filled with happiness at that moment and I was filled with dread and despair from all the isolation, and the time I decide to go out and have a good day, it gets ruined like that. I am still trying to process it to make a thread but it's difficult. I was staring at the void, blakly, like I was in a parallel universe and my body got frozen at that moment where happiness was all around and dark energy was right there in that corner listening to it all. I couldn't ignore. It was 2 days ago I think, and I still trying to process it to make a thread venting. It was peak suifuel.
 
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