Z
From when I was a teen I already knew it was over, never had any friends, obviously no females in my life and no close family. It's as lonely as you can get and till today nothing has changed with me approaching wizardry very soon (don't worry the rope date is already set). I knew my looks had a lot to do with it and I also suspect years of bullying along with social rejection in every day life as a kid shaped me up to have a boring and very introverted personality which never helped (not that it would've made much of a difference anyways).
I've always avoided camera's with the rare exception when it was required (such as passport), but yesterday I decided to take a selfie to really analyse just how bad it is and this is what I saw:
- My left cheek is bigger than my right... the asymmetry is so bad that you'd think I'd just come from a fight. Even when you flip the picture it's still quite bad.
- Because of my left cheek being bigger, my long face looks like someone's terrible attempt at drawing an 'oval' shape.
- My nose is big
- My eyes may be the worst, they don't seem centered as if pointing outwards. There's also a white space underneath my pupils (I can't remember what the term for this is, but it's not aesthetic) and there's large visible dark circles underneath my eyelids.
- Acne scarring on my cheeks (my beard helps cover some of it but it's still noticeable)
Its made me realise that even if I had gone down the plastic surgery path, that even the best surgeons in Korea would've told me it's over.
I knew it was bad, just not this bad. Makes me realise even more how people must perceive me and why I'm so unlovable. How uncomfortable they must've felt when having to approach and talk to me even in a professional setting or when the only seat left on the bus or the train was next to me and they'd end up choosing to just stand (I've experimented with this many times, now I just stand in a corner).
90% of the people on this forum tend to have average or above looks and complain and bitch about it, you don't know how fucking lucky you are.
I've always avoided camera's with the rare exception when it was required (such as passport), but yesterday I decided to take a selfie to really analyse just how bad it is and this is what I saw:
- My left cheek is bigger than my right... the asymmetry is so bad that you'd think I'd just come from a fight. Even when you flip the picture it's still quite bad.
- Because of my left cheek being bigger, my long face looks like someone's terrible attempt at drawing an 'oval' shape.
- My nose is big
- My eyes may be the worst, they don't seem centered as if pointing outwards. There's also a white space underneath my pupils (I can't remember what the term for this is, but it's not aesthetic) and there's large visible dark circles underneath my eyelids.
- Acne scarring on my cheeks (my beard helps cover some of it but it's still noticeable)
Its made me realise that even if I had gone down the plastic surgery path, that even the best surgeons in Korea would've told me it's over.
I knew it was bad, just not this bad. Makes me realise even more how people must perceive me and why I'm so unlovable. How uncomfortable they must've felt when having to approach and talk to me even in a professional setting or when the only seat left on the bus or the train was next to me and they'd end up choosing to just stand (I've experimented with this many times, now I just stand in a corner).
90% of the people on this forum tend to have average or above looks and complain and bitch about it, you don't know how fucking lucky you are.
