She was a ticket seller at AMC. They re-opened today and I thought I'd stop by.
I don't even get a chance to get a word in before she says "Do you have a ticket?" And I say "I thought I was supposed to buy them here." And she says "We are actually sold out of tickets for the rest of the evening."
Getting turned down by women isn't a problem for me. I've come to understand that not every/any woman is gonna want me the way I want her. But to be rejected by the movies, the movies were the closest thing to a hobby I had left. And today was opening day. And I don't get to be a part of this.
I've railed against this thinking that if you get rejected after one approach, you're incel. I've said you shouldn't give up like that. But with this rejection I see how someone might, after one rejection, want to give up forever. I don't have much of... anything. I used to have a strong passion for video games, but I gave it up in 2014. Empty, I turned to movies to occupy my newfound time and money. Just for something to do. And like with video games, the appeal was getting to enjoy events with a community.
But then came 2020. And because of certain sociopolitical events of the summer, I had to do an audit on my various subscriptions. I didn't wanna associate with any riot apologists posting black squares or Minnesota bail funds. Turns out a lot of the podcasts and review channels and obviously subreddits are well cucked in that regard, and this kinda left me without a community. And so I'm like "Fuck. Is this 2014 all over again? Am I gonna have to drop movies as a hobby?"
But THEN came opening day for AMC Theaters. 15-cent admission. I wanted to meet that moment. So straight after work I showed up for the next showing of Bloodshot. I don't even like Bloodshot. Again, it's not really about the movies. I just wanted to be part of the welcome back. To see whatever pre-movie trailers they had for the AMC "family" upon our return. And I'm turned away. Because NOBODY TOLD ME they'd be operating at such minimal capacity that of course they're gonna run out of tickets early on.
And now I'm faced with the allegory of the rejected incel. So he was rejected one time, or a few times. Why should he give up, when there are other women in other times and other situations? So I didn't get to go to the movies tonight. Why should I give up? Maybe I can go tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month. Or how about when the movie season REALLY gets started? It hasn't actually gotten started yet, we haven't caught up to the new schedule. Maybe I should go then.
No, fuck going then. It had to be today! This special once-in-a-lifetime moment! Furthermore, I was prepared to give up on this whole thing. But I gave it a chance anyway, against my better interest. Because I don't really have a community to enjoy these with anymore. But I answered the allure. And the allure didn't want me, as vulnerable as I made myself. This, I think, is why people give up after a particular rejection. When they expose their earnestness like I did, and not only get rejected, but get insulted with "But you can come back later to pat $10 to see Unhinged! That'll be fun!"
FUCK you and FUCK this thinking that you can just do things "whenever." That if you miss out on a formative experience, that's just fine, you move on and "enjoy the present." It's not fine. Otherwise it wouldn't be so important to not waste time and miss opportunities. You're just making do without crucial wholeness, for the sake of not laying down and dying. You are literally coping. It's not fine, it's not acceptable, it's bad.
This is the end of me and the theater. But this is not the end of me. I'm gonna find some other hobby.
I don't even get a chance to get a word in before she says "Do you have a ticket?" And I say "I thought I was supposed to buy them here." And she says "We are actually sold out of tickets for the rest of the evening."
Getting turned down by women isn't a problem for me. I've come to understand that not every/any woman is gonna want me the way I want her. But to be rejected by the movies, the movies were the closest thing to a hobby I had left. And today was opening day. And I don't get to be a part of this.
I've railed against this thinking that if you get rejected after one approach, you're incel. I've said you shouldn't give up like that. But with this rejection I see how someone might, after one rejection, want to give up forever. I don't have much of... anything. I used to have a strong passion for video games, but I gave it up in 2014. Empty, I turned to movies to occupy my newfound time and money. Just for something to do. And like with video games, the appeal was getting to enjoy events with a community.
But then came 2020. And because of certain sociopolitical events of the summer, I had to do an audit on my various subscriptions. I didn't wanna associate with any riot apologists posting black squares or Minnesota bail funds. Turns out a lot of the podcasts and review channels and obviously subreddits are well cucked in that regard, and this kinda left me without a community. And so I'm like "Fuck. Is this 2014 all over again? Am I gonna have to drop movies as a hobby?"
But THEN came opening day for AMC Theaters. 15-cent admission. I wanted to meet that moment. So straight after work I showed up for the next showing of Bloodshot. I don't even like Bloodshot. Again, it's not really about the movies. I just wanted to be part of the welcome back. To see whatever pre-movie trailers they had for the AMC "family" upon our return. And I'm turned away. Because NOBODY TOLD ME they'd be operating at such minimal capacity that of course they're gonna run out of tickets early on.
And now I'm faced with the allegory of the rejected incel. So he was rejected one time, or a few times. Why should he give up, when there are other women in other times and other situations? So I didn't get to go to the movies tonight. Why should I give up? Maybe I can go tomorrow. Or next week. Or next month. Or how about when the movie season REALLY gets started? It hasn't actually gotten started yet, we haven't caught up to the new schedule. Maybe I should go then.
No, fuck going then. It had to be today! This special once-in-a-lifetime moment! Furthermore, I was prepared to give up on this whole thing. But I gave it a chance anyway, against my better interest. Because I don't really have a community to enjoy these with anymore. But I answered the allure. And the allure didn't want me, as vulnerable as I made myself. This, I think, is why people give up after a particular rejection. When they expose their earnestness like I did, and not only get rejected, but get insulted with "But you can come back later to pat $10 to see Unhinged! That'll be fun!"
FUCK you and FUCK this thinking that you can just do things "whenever." That if you miss out on a formative experience, that's just fine, you move on and "enjoy the present." It's not fine. Otherwise it wouldn't be so important to not waste time and miss opportunities. You're just making do without crucial wholeness, for the sake of not laying down and dying. You are literally coping. It's not fine, it's not acceptable, it's bad.
This is the end of me and the theater. But this is not the end of me. I'm gonna find some other hobby.
You bought the last ticket too.
