I started getting some hope to fix my life recently
Obviously I know that I will never get love or any of that shit But I was hoping I could atleast find some way to cope and find a decent way to live and just somewhat enjoy my life for awhile before I kill myself
Life always comes back to crush you with no sympathy though
It will make you think everything is ok only to make it worse for you when the inevitable happens
I was talking with my normie friend last week
It was around 4 in the morning and he had just been out with friends
I was still awake because My sleeping schedule is fucked and I normally stay awake at nights since Im a neet and its the only peaceful time
We were playing payday and somehow the topic changed to marriage and how there is no point to it
I was telling him how everything with marriage is in the womens favour and how its a scam for men now and then he started talking about how he wouldnt want to get married to his gf because most relationships he's seen dont work out
Despite this Apparently his relationship is healthy and good but he still wouldnt want to risk it
While talking about this he mentioned that they’ve been together for 2 years now
And I was thinking “wtf does he mean fucking 2 years I swear its barely been a year”
They have been together for fucking 2 years now I remember meeting this bitch for the first time
She has always been bitchy with me because of the way I look and never acts like that to our other friend despite him being more shy then me
Ive only met her maybe 4 or 5 times In two years thankfully
But I guess that might be a bad thing since maybe my friend doesn’t want me around her or some shit
I didn’t realise it had been two years because nothing ever happens in my life
The way I process time Is completely fucked now because most of my life has been spent in my room
Two years went by like that
Nothing has changed in my life for the better
Actually Im fucking balding now
things have only gotten worse for me
Everyday I’m losing more and more hope
To ever find any enjoyment from life
I cant find anything to go on for but At the same time I don’t see this shit ending anytime soon
I feel imprisoned by everything now
I dont think theres any way I can fix any of the problems in my life its all set in stone
Theres no way to cope with any of this either every time I try to it Never works out
Everything in my life is too fucked up for me to realistically cope with it
without it being a pathetic lie I tell myself
In those two years everyone else probably had good times and made good memories while I did fucking nothing
All because of things out of my control
I can guarantee most of them aren’t even grateful for their lives either they have everything I want and Its still not enough for them
I wish there was some way I could take everything they have in life and leave them to rot like me
None of them deserve anything they have
Most people don’t deserve the things they get in life whether its bad or good but they get it because its fated to them by their genes
Yesterday I was in a decent mood still somewhat coping from the hopium I had and then this massive feeling of despair hit me and I just laid in my bed for hours doing nothing staring at the ceiling and falling in and out of sleep because I didnt want to be awake anymore
At the same time Theres 100s Of people in my area alone enjoying their lives because they weren’t fucked over like I was
Its genuinely amazing when I see the IT mfs or normies saying we are like this because we choose to be because we dont work hard enough or some shit
Why would any of us choose this life??
Dont they think if we knew there was a way we could fix our lives for certain we’d be fucking doing it
Fucking dumb pieces of shit
These people genuinely dont even think I swear to god
It literally goes against human instincts to live how we do the only reason we are like this is because we tried and failed and now because of the deppresion from our shit lives we cant gather enough motivation to even try with anything
Its always chicken and the egg with these fucking people they get everything in the wrong fucking order
My life just feels so bad now
I always have this massive feeling of loneliness because I know that no one else around me is like me
I doubt I am valued by my friends that much and Idk if I will ever be able to make any more
I just want some sort of genuine connection with someone but I don’t think that’s possible for me
Even On here I dont fit in no one gives af about me
When I signed up here I thought I would find many people like me and maybe find a place where I could fit in but that didnt happen
Either most people ignore me or they have me muted
Everything in life just feels grey and dead
I dont think Ive ever been as fucked as I am now in life
Ive had way worse times in life but I still had the naïve feeling that everything will sort its self out eventually that you have when you are young
Now Ive lived through all of that and I know thats not how it works
I don't think any of this will ever change
Everything that happens to you in life is caused by your genes and my genes are attached to me like a ball and chain
All of my life now is just filled with these feelings of loss for the experiences I will never have
the loneliness of no one giving af about me and the feeling of having no meaning or purpose to carry on for
And then I have to deal with being haunted by these feelings even more when I see people everyday who got all of it because they got lucky in life
I cant keep going on like this I cant even really put into words how fucked I feel but Im sure most of you know how it is
I feel like theres a point where you have to throw the towel in but its like I have no arms to throw it with
I know this is done but I still dont feel like I can kill myself yet
When I do Im confident I could do it If I have the right means but for now I know its not going to happen and I have to keep living through this shit
Ive seen other people on this site who just continue to rot after their life is over and they are all fucked up
I can just see that life has completely destroyed them and I dont want to be like that But I can see that Is where Im going
I really don’t even know what I can do with this shitshow Anymore
Realistically I should just kill myself But that wont happen anytime soon
Its so fucked that this is it for me and for all of us in life
Existence is so cruel what is really the need for this
Its like we only exist to feed the people better then us for a lifetime we live just to make them feel good and be the lower benchmark to them
Atleast normies and the people above us can live decent lives even if they dont live well
But we really get nothing from life
Obviously I know that I will never get love or any of that shit But I was hoping I could atleast find some way to cope and find a decent way to live and just somewhat enjoy my life for awhile before I kill myself
Life always comes back to crush you with no sympathy though
It will make you think everything is ok only to make it worse for you when the inevitable happens
I was talking with my normie friend last week
It was around 4 in the morning and he had just been out with friends
I was still awake because My sleeping schedule is fucked and I normally stay awake at nights since Im a neet and its the only peaceful time
We were playing payday and somehow the topic changed to marriage and how there is no point to it
I was telling him how everything with marriage is in the womens favour and how its a scam for men now and then he started talking about how he wouldnt want to get married to his gf because most relationships he's seen dont work out
Despite this Apparently his relationship is healthy and good but he still wouldnt want to risk it
While talking about this he mentioned that they’ve been together for 2 years now
And I was thinking “wtf does he mean fucking 2 years I swear its barely been a year”
They have been together for fucking 2 years now I remember meeting this bitch for the first time
She has always been bitchy with me because of the way I look and never acts like that to our other friend despite him being more shy then me
Ive only met her maybe 4 or 5 times In two years thankfully
But I guess that might be a bad thing since maybe my friend doesn’t want me around her or some shit
I didn’t realise it had been two years because nothing ever happens in my life
The way I process time Is completely fucked now because most of my life has been spent in my room
Two years went by like that
Nothing has changed in my life for the better
Actually Im fucking balding now
things have only gotten worse for me
Everyday I’m losing more and more hope
To ever find any enjoyment from life
I cant find anything to go on for but At the same time I don’t see this shit ending anytime soon
I feel imprisoned by everything now
I dont think theres any way I can fix any of the problems in my life its all set in stone
Theres no way to cope with any of this either every time I try to it Never works out
Everything in my life is too fucked up for me to realistically cope with it
without it being a pathetic lie I tell myself
In those two years everyone else probably had good times and made good memories while I did fucking nothing
All because of things out of my control
I can guarantee most of them aren’t even grateful for their lives either they have everything I want and Its still not enough for them
I wish there was some way I could take everything they have in life and leave them to rot like me
None of them deserve anything they have
Most people don’t deserve the things they get in life whether its bad or good but they get it because its fated to them by their genes
Yesterday I was in a decent mood still somewhat coping from the hopium I had and then this massive feeling of despair hit me and I just laid in my bed for hours doing nothing staring at the ceiling and falling in and out of sleep because I didnt want to be awake anymore
At the same time Theres 100s Of people in my area alone enjoying their lives because they weren’t fucked over like I was
Its genuinely amazing when I see the IT mfs or normies saying we are like this because we choose to be because we dont work hard enough or some shit
Why would any of us choose this life??
Dont they think if we knew there was a way we could fix our lives for certain we’d be fucking doing it
Fucking dumb pieces of shit
These people genuinely dont even think I swear to god
It literally goes against human instincts to live how we do the only reason we are like this is because we tried and failed and now because of the deppresion from our shit lives we cant gather enough motivation to even try with anything
Its always chicken and the egg with these fucking people they get everything in the wrong fucking order
My life just feels so bad now
I always have this massive feeling of loneliness because I know that no one else around me is like me
I doubt I am valued by my friends that much and Idk if I will ever be able to make any more
I just want some sort of genuine connection with someone but I don’t think that’s possible for me
Even On here I dont fit in no one gives af about me
When I signed up here I thought I would find many people like me and maybe find a place where I could fit in but that didnt happen
Either most people ignore me or they have me muted
Everything in life just feels grey and dead
I dont think Ive ever been as fucked as I am now in life
Ive had way worse times in life but I still had the naïve feeling that everything will sort its self out eventually that you have when you are young
Now Ive lived through all of that and I know thats not how it works
I don't think any of this will ever change
Everything that happens to you in life is caused by your genes and my genes are attached to me like a ball and chain
All of my life now is just filled with these feelings of loss for the experiences I will never have
the loneliness of no one giving af about me and the feeling of having no meaning or purpose to carry on for
And then I have to deal with being haunted by these feelings even more when I see people everyday who got all of it because they got lucky in life
I cant keep going on like this I cant even really put into words how fucked I feel but Im sure most of you know how it is
I feel like theres a point where you have to throw the towel in but its like I have no arms to throw it with
I know this is done but I still dont feel like I can kill myself yet
When I do Im confident I could do it If I have the right means but for now I know its not going to happen and I have to keep living through this shit
Ive seen other people on this site who just continue to rot after their life is over and they are all fucked up
I can just see that life has completely destroyed them and I dont want to be like that But I can see that Is where Im going
I really don’t even know what I can do with this shitshow Anymore
Realistically I should just kill myself But that wont happen anytime soon
Its so fucked that this is it for me and for all of us in life
Existence is so cruel what is really the need for this
Its like we only exist to feed the people better then us for a lifetime we live just to make them feel good and be the lower benchmark to them
Atleast normies and the people above us can live decent lives even if they dont live well
But we really get nothing from life
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