spermretentionmax
5’6
★★★★★
- Joined
- Jul 24, 2024
- Posts
- 460
The world is so unfair. I only have one chance at life. I only have this one life and I get to spend it living as me. I guess I should be grateful that I’m not some starving African kid or an afghan bacha bazi but it’s still very brutal to think about.
Even if life gets better and I ascend (probably by betabuxxing), I will still be living as me. I was a depressed lonely friendless loser incel since I was a kid. My entire family my parents and siblings all hate me and make fun of me. They use the same insults the kids in school used. I once vented to my parents about what bullying I faced at school when I was 7 and it was the worst mistake of my life because they used my suffering against me.
This is who I am. I can’t ever change it. I will always be that bullied loser kid. I can’t ever say that I am a loved and appreciated person. I used to think as a kid that things would get better, I didn’t realize that the bad things happening me back then were only setting the stage for the rest of my suffering.
It is terrible. Why did I have to be me? In a PE class of 35 people, why did I have to be the last picked for anything team activities? Why couldn’t I be any of the 34 other people? I should probably stop complaining, if it wasn’t me who was last then it would have to be someone else and they would have to experience my pain.
I’m writing this post because I’m studying really hard in college and trying to get good internships so I can have a chance at a good career after college. I want to remind myself that a good career doesn’t compensate for a cursed childhood. My childhood wasn’t just a few bad memories, it was everyday. Everyday was a humiliation ritual. Every social interaction ended badly. It badly affected my personality and who I became to be. Underneath everything I do or everything I will become, I will still be an incel loser.
Even if life gets better and I ascend (probably by betabuxxing), I will still be living as me. I was a depressed lonely friendless loser incel since I was a kid. My entire family my parents and siblings all hate me and make fun of me. They use the same insults the kids in school used. I once vented to my parents about what bullying I faced at school when I was 7 and it was the worst mistake of my life because they used my suffering against me.
This is who I am. I can’t ever change it. I will always be that bullied loser kid. I can’t ever say that I am a loved and appreciated person. I used to think as a kid that things would get better, I didn’t realize that the bad things happening me back then were only setting the stage for the rest of my suffering.
It is terrible. Why did I have to be me? In a PE class of 35 people, why did I have to be the last picked for anything team activities? Why couldn’t I be any of the 34 other people? I should probably stop complaining, if it wasn’t me who was last then it would have to be someone else and they would have to experience my pain.
I’m writing this post because I’m studying really hard in college and trying to get good internships so I can have a chance at a good career after college. I want to remind myself that a good career doesn’t compensate for a cursed childhood. My childhood wasn’t just a few bad memories, it was everyday. Everyday was a humiliation ritual. Every social interaction ended badly. It badly affected my personality and who I became to be. Underneath everything I do or everything I will become, I will still be an incel loser.