careermax_aspiecel
Recruit
★★★★
- Joined
- Feb 12, 2020
- Posts
- 317
Hello everyone.
It's been a long time since I posted.
Many things have changed.
I left my shitty IT middle management job. I moved to another country. I got a Master's Degree. I got a well-paying job. I became pretty good at playing the piano. I made new friends and socialized as much as possible, covid notwithstanding.
My life has never been worse.
I wake up every morning suppressing the urge to cry. I don't care about anything anymore. My emotional landscape is fully occupied by a deep, cold, black void.
I tried to know girls and to get a girlfriend, time and time again. Needless to say, I was rejected every time, with each rejection hurting more than the previous one.
Years of pain have become poision, slowly destroying my physical and mental health. My body is decaying. My eyesight is worsening, to the point where I will soon qualify for disability benefits.
Worst of all, I'm losing control of my mind. I can no longer form new memories. I cannot locate myself in space and time. I cannot distinguish between events that happened in reality and in my dreams.
For these, and many more, reasons, I have decided to play my last hand in the game of life. I will go "all or nothing."
There is a girl that I like. A lot. I would even say that I love her, but I cannot be sure since I never experienced love. I will see her again next month and I will confess my feelings.
I know that she will reject me. I don't know what I will do then. I might end it. I probably won't. I will give up either way.
Thanks to whoever will read this.
It's been a long time since I posted.
Many things have changed.
I left my shitty IT middle management job. I moved to another country. I got a Master's Degree. I got a well-paying job. I became pretty good at playing the piano. I made new friends and socialized as much as possible, covid notwithstanding.
My life has never been worse.
I wake up every morning suppressing the urge to cry. I don't care about anything anymore. My emotional landscape is fully occupied by a deep, cold, black void.
I tried to know girls and to get a girlfriend, time and time again. Needless to say, I was rejected every time, with each rejection hurting more than the previous one.
Years of pain have become poision, slowly destroying my physical and mental health. My body is decaying. My eyesight is worsening, to the point where I will soon qualify for disability benefits.
Worst of all, I'm losing control of my mind. I can no longer form new memories. I cannot locate myself in space and time. I cannot distinguish between events that happened in reality and in my dreams.
For these, and many more, reasons, I have decided to play my last hand in the game of life. I will go "all or nothing."
There is a girl that I like. A lot. I would even say that I love her, but I cannot be sure since I never experienced love. I will see her again next month and I will confess my feelings.
I know that she will reject me. I don't know what I will do then. I might end it. I probably won't. I will give up either way.
Thanks to whoever will read this.