Unlike other people here I didn't have a happy childhood until puberty, the moment my autistic traits began to show in childhood it was over. This was before I realized I was an incel back when I thought I'd be a normal guy with a wife and three kids doing great things, you know the American dream.
Anyway back in the day I used to be so desperate for social acceptance, always wanting to play with the other kids, I never realized how little things like friendship and bonds meant. I used to be such a kind, caring, and good kid, so naive and innocent because of my social disability, this made me the perfect target to be bullied, tricked, humiliated and disrespected, since I couldn't stick up for myself. I remember all the times others talked down to me like I was trash and made me feel like a worthless loser, where they constantly made fun of the fact that I sucked at sports, mentioned nobody liked me, excluded me from their games, mentioned my low status in relation to others, made fun of the times I cried or mocked me for my accent.
The worst part wasn't that I was bullied but that I always went back to them and was desperate for their company, enough to consider them my friends. I hate how weak, helpless, and pathetic I was, craving their acceptance and even hoping that one day I'd be liked and respected by them. It's so humiliating to remember that some of those kids were a year younger than me, showing how behind I was in terms of social development, in relation to my peers.
It's absolutely infuriating that I was dominated verbally and socially by these NT scum, that I could never socially outwit them because of my horrid disability. I regret not being more violent and aggressive, because I was a good person, for being weak,sensitive and often resorting to tears, most of all I regret wasting my time with them and gaining nothing out of it, whether in terms of better social skills or improved social status.
Even if I punished each and every one of them and destroyed them socially, as they deserve. It can never make up for the disgrace, I endured and the helplessness I felt, as an innocent little autistic boy, trapped in a world full of evil aggressive NT predators. This was my first taste of the blackpilled reality of this world, though I didn't know it back then, these memories continue to haunt me every night. These brutal experiences shaped me into the person I am today .
Anyway back in the day I used to be so desperate for social acceptance, always wanting to play with the other kids, I never realized how little things like friendship and bonds meant. I used to be such a kind, caring, and good kid, so naive and innocent because of my social disability, this made me the perfect target to be bullied, tricked, humiliated and disrespected, since I couldn't stick up for myself. I remember all the times others talked down to me like I was trash and made me feel like a worthless loser, where they constantly made fun of the fact that I sucked at sports, mentioned nobody liked me, excluded me from their games, mentioned my low status in relation to others, made fun of the times I cried or mocked me for my accent.
The worst part wasn't that I was bullied but that I always went back to them and was desperate for their company, enough to consider them my friends. I hate how weak, helpless, and pathetic I was, craving their acceptance and even hoping that one day I'd be liked and respected by them. It's so humiliating to remember that some of those kids were a year younger than me, showing how behind I was in terms of social development, in relation to my peers.
It's absolutely infuriating that I was dominated verbally and socially by these NT scum, that I could never socially outwit them because of my horrid disability. I regret not being more violent and aggressive, because I was a good person, for being weak,sensitive and often resorting to tears, most of all I regret wasting my time with them and gaining nothing out of it, whether in terms of better social skills or improved social status.
Even if I punished each and every one of them and destroyed them socially, as they deserve. It can never make up for the disgrace, I endured and the helplessness I felt, as an innocent little autistic boy, trapped in a world full of evil aggressive NT predators. This was my first taste of the blackpilled reality of this world, though I didn't know it back then, these memories continue to haunt me every night. These brutal experiences shaped me into the person I am today .
