Serious Things from your past can be hard to deal with

[Hoppipolla]

Wow. I've had a rough day. My dad is moving house and he gave me some boxes of my old stuff when when I was a kid and teen, and some stuff from afterwards I think.

It's been surprisingly hard to deal with some of it. So many memories being awoken and reminders of a time when my social life and family life was better, to be honest.

I also think I'm quite stuck in the past. Like... I know it was a long time ago now and even emotionally I know it wasn't yesterday, but I feel like it was... nowhere near as long ago as it was. As if I could still reach out and touch it, whereas in reality it was so long ago that it's like everyone is different people.

All the people that were so important to me and were my entire world... and now they're gone. And all that's left is some items in boxes to remind me of it.

It's weird how other people seem to move on in life so much more easily than I do. I guess having a good current life helps a lot.

I do OK until these things come along and really remind me of the past. Items, dreams, etc. And then I remember what I've lost.

Sorry, long post. And I know most people here are young so won't really be able to fully relate? Just... value what you have, and people in your life. You never know when things might change.

 

[Chubacabracel]

i am overcome with emotion every time i touch my old xbox 360

 

[Hoppipolla]

I feel like when you live in the past a bit too much... you can preserve everything as it was but... often the people they might move away or change or you drift apart, etc.

I think my personality is such that I was very happy at that time. So I want things to mostly stay like that. And they kind of can, but just not with the same people, for the most part.

 

[Mecoja]

When I remember things from my childhood how naive and carefree I was I feel like crying. For me its different, I forgot and buried so many memories, even some nice one because shit ones happened at the same time. Its weird somehow all those memories feel like it was so long ago, so distant that I feel they happened to someone else, like it was some previous life.

 

[Hoppipolla]

When I remember things from my childhood how naive and carefree I was I feel like crying. For me its different, I forgot and buried so many memories, even some nice one because shit ones happened at the same time. Its weird somehow all those memories feel like it was so long ago, so distant that I feel they happened to someone else, like it was some previous life.

They definitely feel kind of faint yeah, at least normally. But reading and seeing some of this old stuff just made it feel so much more current.


I was thinking though... why do I put these people from the past on such a pedestal?

They were an amazing friends network when I was a teenager but in the years after that most of them have changed a lot and many have even become distant or pushed me away. Even though I really didn't do anything wrong or very little.

It's really hard to deal with, but also it's just part of growing up. Really I need to find new friends that I'm more similar to now and ideally won't push me away.

 

[Mecoja]

I was thinking though... why do I put these people from the past on such a pedestal?

They were an amazing friends network when I was a teenager but in the years after that most of them have changed a lot and many have even become distant or pushed me away. Even though I really didn't do anything wrong or very little.

People drift apart and change, grow or stagnate. I think youre more nostalgic about how you felt, time spent together, how friendships seem more sincere for teens.

It's really hard to deal with, but also it's just part of growing up. Really I need to find new friends that I'm more similar to now and ideally won't push me away.

Adults cant nearly bond like teens can, at least i thinks so, brain changes and lose ability to feel things more simply, with age we become so cynical so nit picking analytic, so closed up that things rarely work out.

 

[I.N.C.E.L.S. Boss]

I dwelled too much in the past long ago and it brought me nothing except a heartache.
Nowadays, I tend to not think too much about stuff and I feel much better.

The past is done for and for some reason, that's a relief for me.

 

[BlackPilledOverdose]

I have been thinking about my school years a lot more just in the past week.

 

[Hoppipolla]

People drift apart and change, grow or stagnate. I think youre more nostalgic about how you felt, time spent together, how friendships seem more sincere for teens.

Adults cant nearly bond like teens can, at least i thinks so, brain changes and lose ability to feel things more simply, with age we become so cynical so nit picking analytic, so closed up that things rarely work out.

It does seem like people have changed a lot yeah.

I think over all these years I became so used to being alone. My conscious mind at least is used to it but my subconscious mind has OCD because it can't really cope.

But seeing those old things like letters and so on just blew my brain out of this kind of "numb" existence that it's in now.

It's like being down a well and you've been down there so long you've gotten comfortable and totally forgotten how amazing life was on the surface.

 

[LeFrenchCel]

When you're happy as a child, you don't have the life experience you have later on, so you think to yourself "I'm happy, life's good, it will stay like this forever".

It's crazy to think that you spend so many good moments with people who totally vanished from your life today...

If I knew that my peak was in elementary school, I would appreciated more every good moment back then, and enjoy it more than I really did, knowing they wouldn't last.

 

[TheProphetMuscle]

i used to think that way but then i just stopped caring all together

 

[Hoppipolla]

When you're happy as a child, you don't have the life experience you have later on, so you think to yourself "I'm happy, life's good, it will stay like this forever".

It's crazy to think that you spend so many good moments with people who totally vanished from your life today...

If I knew that my peak was in elementary school, I would appreciated more every good moment back then, and enjoy it more than I really did, knowing they wouldn't last.

My peak was 17 I guess. 16-18 maybe.

But yeah I know the feeling of feeling like your best days are behind you and now you're kind of coasting along a bit.

i used to think that way but then i just stopped caring all together

Normally I'm like this. I kind of mostly LDAR and stuff. It goes OK but then it only takes something like this to make me realise how much I'm missing.

I guess I need to force myself out of this life while I'm still young enough to do it.

Goodness knows how as I have some real obstacles to overcome. All I really need is just some quality people around me but they can be hard to find especially if you also want to have something in common.

 

[NirvanaFan1988]

I don't even want to read anymore, it adds more sadness to my already sad humor

 

[Hoppipolla]

I don't even want to read anymore, it adds more sadness to my already sad humor

Aw I'm sorry. To be honest that first post was a rewrite - the original was even more kind of "down" >.<

It's just hard to deal with a dramatic decline in your life, especially when something like this makes it so glaring.

I've known for a long time that I need to improve my life - especially social life - but this just made it so much more clear. Continuing to hide away is just not an option for real happiness, at least not for me.

 

[NirvanaFan1988]

Aw I'm sorry. To be honest that first post was a rewrite - the original was even more kind of "down" >.<

It's just hard to deal with a dramatic decline in your life, especially when something like this makes it so glaring.

I've known for a long time that I need to improve my life - especially social life - but this just made it so much more clear. Continuing to hide away is just not an option for real happiness, at least not for me.

I went to therapy only to hear therapists excusing society for their attitudes and blaming me for my mistakes.
I don't even have any other resort but just biting the dusts at this point.

 

[Hoppipolla]

I went to therapy only to hear therapists excusing society for their attitudes and blaming me for my mistakes.
I don't even have any other resort but just biting the dusts at this point.

Biting the dust? >.<

I really think that the solution for a lot of us (in terms of social life) is just to try to find good people. "Our" people.

And usually they won't be the same people as they were in our childhood or teens.

Man I'm glad that I'm starting to find solutions now as opposed to just dwelling. But I still feel quite emotionally "raw". I'm glad I got this now though while I'm still young enough to do something to improve my life.

 

[avoidthefoid]

I think I need a time machine

 

[Kilo]

The way I see it there's two types of people, those who spend their lives trying to build a future and those who spend their lives trying to rebuild the past. For too long I've been stuck in between, hidden in the dark. Locked on a course of destruction.

 

[Hoppipolla]

It's amazing how much those boxes impacted me. I guess I've just never really had to deal with something like this before and it can be quite heavy emotionally.

I realised eventually though that a) many people just change a lot between their teens and say 30+ and b) if they ever want to get hold of me again they know where I am.

So I may as well just as you said @Kilo work on my future and live in the present more, and yeah if any of them ever change their mind or they're run into hard times or anything... they can always contact me and I will always care.

@avoidthefoid I know what you mean. But even if I did go back... I'd just end up back here again eventually anyway. Not that it wouldn't be fun in the meantime, but it wouldn't negate the challenges of today or the inevitable path that things took.

 

[allDead]

I think I need a time machine

 

[Intellau_Celistic]

I think I need a time machine