This world bamboozled me.
When I was in highschool and college, I could afford a certain degree of assertiveness. I knew I was smarter than the retards around me and I could read through their game. It was a system in which I could make clear judgments because I knew it in detail.
But once I got into the real world, I became insecure. So many things I didn't understand. Impressive companies, the big mysterious stock market, words like "inflation" or "democracy" that needed a "why" that everybody seemed to have an obvious answer to, while I kept feeling confused and unsure. I wanted to believe that "they" knew better, because the world has to make sense, right? There has to be meritocracy and reason and all that, right? It cannot be just a big bamboozlement, right, right?
They gaslighted me. All of them. From the big banners to company CEOs to wage slaves, they all faked it and I believed them because I refused to believe that actually my inner anxiety was right.
The same people that act like they are playing a complex and intelligent game are the same retards I despised in highschool, only that now I felt for their tricks, because I wanted to be fooled.
The whole world is faking it. And this time I don't want to be fooled no more.
When I was in highschool and college, I could afford a certain degree of assertiveness. I knew I was smarter than the retards around me and I could read through their game. It was a system in which I could make clear judgments because I knew it in detail.
But once I got into the real world, I became insecure. So many things I didn't understand. Impressive companies, the big mysterious stock market, words like "inflation" or "democracy" that needed a "why" that everybody seemed to have an obvious answer to, while I kept feeling confused and unsure. I wanted to believe that "they" knew better, because the world has to make sense, right? There has to be meritocracy and reason and all that, right? It cannot be just a big bamboozlement, right, right?
They gaslighted me. All of them. From the big banners to company CEOs to wage slaves, they all faked it and I believed them because I refused to believe that actually my inner anxiety was right.
The same people that act like they are playing a complex and intelligent game are the same retards I despised in highschool, only that now I felt for their tricks, because I wanted to be fooled.
The whole world is faking it. And this time I don't want to be fooled no more.
