The whole "incels are hateful" meme is a projection

[Ap0calypse]

After browsing crystalcafe, lolcow, femaledatingstrategy, and IT for the last month, I've come to the conclusion that unattractive men are hated by women regardless of their actions. If an unattractive male has been rejected by females after working on his personality, being social, improving his grooming/hygiene, and being nice to women, females rush to say "that is the bare minimum and you aren't trying hard enough!", "you are manipulating women to have sex!", call you a "nice guy", and say "dont expect sex or a relationship for just being nice, treating women well, and hanging out with women!". But when an unattractive male simply brings up the fact females have rejected him due to his looks, the same females will rush to blame the incel and say "talk to women and be nice!", "improve your grooming/hygiene!", and say "work on your personality!".

This is extremely contradictive and doesn't many any sense. If an unattractive male follows their advice for a long time yet still fails to find a girl sexually attracted to him, females will say he is manipulative, entitled, and a creep while blaming him for his failure.

If an unattractive guy actually follows the dating advice women gave to him, they will still blame and demonize him while criticizing everything he did. But if an unattractive man even slightly alludes to his looks being a problem , they will say "go and actually talk to women! ", "dont victimize yourself!"," You aren't trying hard enough!", "hating women is stopping you from getting laid!" Lower your standards!"

But the thing that really gets to me is the fact they say "a male's looks don't impact his dating success!" but at the same time say "women are allowed to have their physical preferences!"

 

[Despondent Dreamer]

Simply saying someone isn't attractive enough damages one's own deluded worldview which they use as a means of coping. Beyond that, it seems there is the ironic but nonetheless present reality of an attractiveness bias (caused by chemical incentives) potentially causing people to maliciously gaslight unattractive people about how looks don't matter, and how they're somehow just 'bad people'.

 

[Ap0calypse]

Simply saying someone isn't attractive enough damages one's own deluded worldview which they use as a means of coping. Beyond that, it seems there is the ironic but nonetheless present reality of an attractiveness bias (caused by chemical incentives) potentially causing people to maliciously gaslight unattractive people about how looks don't matter, and how they're somehow just 'bad people'.

The same people who made fun of you for your looks in the past are the SAME people who say looks don't matter now.

 

[Despondent Dreamer]

The same people who made fun of you for your looks in the past are the SAME people who say looks don't matter now.

They're not honest people. What they're interested is adhering to a societal consensus regarding what view is considered a measure of a good person, and coping with the idea that we somehow have control over how other people respond to us.

This is also related to bullies creating a justification for abusing someone, even if it's as simple and honest as admitting that it's due to their target being ugly, in their minds it vindicates them in some way.

 

[AboriginalJanitor]

Bro water is wet tbh