the virgin shepherd
- May 19, 2021
- 23d 15h 4m
"The prevalence of adolescents' 12-month depression increased steadily from 8.3% to 12.9% over the years, but their use of mental health services remained largely stable. Higher rates of depression were observed in females, older adolescents, and those from single-mother households. Having less authoritative parents and negative school experiences significantly predicted adolescent depression."
It seems as if being raised with divorced parents whilst being isolated from the fatherly paternal figure is indicative of possible depression arising throughout adolescence, anecdotally I was raised by my mother, who, for the most part, was emotionally abusive and had only ever struck me once, in the gut, as a child. However where there was a lack of physical abuse there was an extreme presence of emotionally abusive behavior inspired from the death of a relative (her mother) and the stress of single parenting. My mother had married three times despite her seemingly inherent detesting of men, the third took a piece of her upon their divorce, one that I observed at the age of 10. It was not long after that that her mother passed and then, tragically, she herself fell into a depression that devastated the childhood of my brother and me who at that point had live carefree lifestyles that, while moderately impoverished, implicated happiness. She started berating us for slightly falling marks and after that our grades dropped tremendously. Why? Because my home-life had fallen from the grace of innocence.
I am certain this applies to at least some of you guys, I myself of sexually abused growing up; TWICE, by a peer at the age of 7 and by a ugly woman by the age of nine. This resulted in memory loss ( I didn't even recall most of this shit until I was 15 to which it boosted my depression and motivated by coping with marijuana and, eventually, alcohol), below avergae test scores, and the negation of a social life ( some of you guys have normie friends but I never had a friend period, just acquaintances). Even if I found a woman I wouldn't date her, not only is she tainted but I have "issues", I am a confirmed mentalcel, traumatically and, apparently, as I learned fairly recently, schizo-affectedly.
Here is a statistic which accurately attests to the effects of sexually abused children:
"A study of sexually abused 7-12 year-old girls showed: 39% displayed academic difficulties, 24% repeated a grade, 15% were enrolled in a remedial class, 48% reported below average grades, and over 37% displayed cognitive ability below 25%."
Unfortunately, it is a largely accepted fact that abused and neglected children are at higher risk for lower academic achievement. Additionally, studies show that children who have suffered from ne…
I was abused which perpetuated my academic failure, I experienced trauma from overhearing my fathers abuse of my now step-mother, and I was molested at a young age. Oh but there must be some redemption right? Perhaps I conquered the adversity I faced throughout life like a man with a will to complete a destiny of his making? WRONG. I was bullied throughout life, mother, brother, brothers normie friends, my "friends", and peers throughout school and work-life. Black kids tried to jump me once, got punched three times in the face and nothing became of it because American society holds poor, uneducated, African-American's in a higher esteem then those of its Caucasian inhabitants who built the very nation that society finds itself existing within. The druggies I hanged with eventually started calling me a pussy, then ghosted me whilst acting like they were in the right.
Here is study which showcases bullying's effect on children:
Results imply that hostile attributions may operate as a potential mechanism through which negative experiences with peers lead to increases in children’s aggressive and delinquent behavior, whereas self-blame exacerbates victimization’s effects on internalizing problem.
The impact of peer victimization on later maladjustment: Mediating and moderating effects of hostile and self-blaming attributions
Is it any wonder why I have anger issues now? I got fucked with wherever I went, In my bluepilled years when I was a normie like any other I just went along with everyones shit. Coworkers shit on me and called me a bitch, had a guy named Chad who was a Chad pump the bosses daughter while shitting on me, had a nigger fuck with me while I was working with him all the while he is fucking this same whore who fucked with me all the same. Even the boss disliked me, guess that is what I get for working at a liberal establishment and being a genuinely good person.
My friends gave me acid and fucked with me while I was high and called me a bitch because I was too high to do anything, in fact the last time I saw the guy who blew vape smoke in my face while I was high on acid referenced Buddhism and pretentiously acted like some overtly enlightened sage despite being a complete shit-headed dope with no inclination for moral thinking, no comprehension of ethics, just complete egoistic intolerance of anyone who proves him wrong.
I have read stoicism, Buddhism, Confucianism, ethical philosophy, none of them mention the contest of wills that exists inherent in this world. NONE. Siddhartha's response to anger? That it is of your own making, that all the wrongs you have experienced are relative to your interpretation, that your anger is not justified. Apparently I am supposed to chuckle to every misdeed I experience, become Buddah's bitch.
"He struck me, he wronged me. So long as these thoughts are cherished anger shall reign over the man who entertains such thoughts." So what am I so supposed to forgive them or think of them as different men? Christian as well as Buddhist ethics are inferior to that of Nietzschean ethics, this is master slave relation-ed world, and we are the oppressed strong men who have been raised up on slave morality.
This is a competition folks, and it was over before it began. It was rigged by the prophetic sages who manipulated society from the start.