LDAR The torturous mental pendulum between shitty life experiences and blackpill masochism, with instinctual coping that "maybe its not so bad?"

[black_depresso]

Most of us here are first world born, comfortable middle class lives and not starving children in africa. All our basic needs are essentially accounted for (Obviously not sex though)

But this aside,

Does anyone else experience a constant mental pendulum of obsession over how fucking shit life is and how permanently over it is, I have CONFIRMED SHITTY LIFE EXPERIENCES and AM BLATANTLY UGLY and this will never change, and have been rejected COUNTLESS times by disgusted, creeped out women because of my face...


and then suddenly becoming overwhelmed with a sense of false hope, and feelings that, maybe something good will happen? Maybe this isn't so bad? maybe I can find some happiness still?

I keep ping ponging between these two mental states and its nauseating and exhausting.

The sense of false hope is 100% an instinct, my brain subconsciously forcing me to have hope and future optimism so I dont kill myself in resignation

!!!

The self preservation instinct is not under your own control. Especially with something like looks, which are so inconclusive on exactly how OVER life is. The brain will unconsciously FORCE hope and optimism into your mind so you dont consciously decide to kill yourself. How trippy is that.

 

[azakhan]

Yep, yesterday was a pretty good day for me and I was really hopeful. Didn't even think about my usual issues and even made plans for self improvments.

 

[Orkcel]

All I ever wanted was love, I no longer believe foids are capable of this after many life experiences. Hypergamy blackpills and what not are just trends that explain phenomenon to me, so they never really hurt me that much. I used to feel sad about these revelations, but I'm now low-inhib don't give a fuck maxed. For me it was kind of liberating knowing that love as I understood it isn't real and I'm alone in this world, now I can focus on advancing myself for my own pleasure.

 

[Deleted member 20659]

Absolutely. I feel outbursts of hope and epiphanies specially when i'm most fucked, for example when i have a test in a few hours and havent studied anything for months. The tension and anxiety build up to such an extent that when I think "it doesn't matter" i experience some sort of orgasmic release, it must be some psychological mechanism.
The feeling of being doomed is blackpilling but also liberating and can induce joy /dissolution.
Also it is pointless to compare your suffering with others like starving africans, you should be your own measure, if you feel the world sucks, own it, don't let external things alienate yourself from your own mental state, do not gaslight yourself

 

[racepilledjbw]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm always going back and forth between these two states. When I'm hopeful, I think that maybe the blackpill thoughts will go away, but they never do. I always end up thinking about how it is so unfair that life was decided from birth by genetics and whenever I think about this, I want to sperg out so bad and smash my phone on the floor.

Sometimes, I'm hopeful for a good career and future, but I quickly snap back to reality when I think "what's the point in all of this if I'll be alone for the rest of my life?"

 

[black_depresso]

I know exactly how you feel. I'm always going back and forth between these two states. When I'm hopeful, I think that maybe the blackpill thoughts will go away, but they never do. I always end up thinking about how it is so unfair that life was decided from birth by genetics and whenever I think about this, I want to sperg out so bad and smash my phone on the floor.

Sometimes, I'm hopeful for a good career and future, but I quickly snap back to reality when I think "what's the point in all of this if I'll be alone for the rest of my life?"

Today after I watched joker I really wondered

Why was I put on this earth? I have no genetic gifts or talents of any kind, and on top of that I’m also ugly. What the fuck do you want/expect from me God? You want me to be happy you gave me this life when almost every waking moment is a miserable nauseating experience?