Story The time i fucked a steak

[Left4DeadDarkie]

I just remembered this for some reason jfl.

So one time me, my mom, and my brother went to a steak restaurant. I order a steak (I got it rare because I never tried it and I wanted to know what it tasted like)

When I got the steak I started eating it (rare steak is very chewy)

I didn't finish the whole steak so I got it to go and went home. Later that day for whatever reason I wondered "What would fucking that steak feel like?"

I didn't like the steak much so I didn't mind having to throw it away. I chewed a hole in the middle of the steak like a rat and I got to fucking it. My dumbass didn't warm it up so it was cold asf. If my dumbass warmed it up then it probably would have felt pretty good.

So yeah that's the time I had sex with a steak.

Sorry I've been lying about my incel status

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

@Fat Link pls don't ban me

 

[MisanthropicMemes]

I just remembered this for some reason jfl.

So one time me, my mom, and my brother went to a steak restaurant. I order a steak (I got it rare because I never tried it and I wanted to know what it tasted like)

When I got the steak I started eating it (rare steak is very chewy)

I didn't finish the whole steak so I got it to go and went home. Later that day for whatever reason I wondered "What would fucking that steak feel like?)

I didn't like the steak much so I didn't mind having to throw it away. I chewed a hole in the middle of the steak like a rat and I got to fucking it. My dumbass didn't warm it up so it was cold asf. If my dumbass warmed it up then it probably would have felt pretty good.

So yeah that's the time I had sex with a steak.

Sorry I've been lying about my incel status

Why would you ever publicly admit to this

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

Why would you ever publicly admit to this

Idk I just thought it was a bit goofy and I'm bored lmaoo

 

[SupremeAutist]

Later that day for whatever reason I wondered "What would fucking that steak feel like?)

What inceldom does to a man

 

[BurntIvoryKingcel]

hoping this is some copypasta I don't know of

 

[Fat Link]

 

[MisanthropicMemes]

My reaction exactly

 

[La Grande Infamie]

hoping this is some copypasta I don't know of

 

[Karakol96]

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

hoping this is some copypasta I don't know of

It isn't. It was a few years ago

 

[Sloth.Belgrade]

 

[Cautious Raven]

Bestiality and necrophilia?

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

Thank you saar.

Make sure you warm it up first

 

[SubhumanGamer]

Is this technically necrophilic zoophilia??

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

Bestiality and necrophilia?

Uh....

 

[Karakol96]

Thank you saar.

Make sure you warm it up first

I will

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

Is this technically necrophilic zoophilia??

It consented

 

[Cautious Raven]

Uh....

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

Don't act like you don't get up to nefarious acts

 

[SubhumanGamer]

"What would fucking that steak feel like?"

Bro... I had this same thought but with an apple

 

[Sloth.Belgrade]

The steak wasn't a virgin, so it's not grape

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

Bro... I had this same thought but with an apple

That would probably hurt tbh

 

[SubhumanGamer]

It consented

I don't think consent matters. You fucked an chunk of animal

 

[Cautious Raven]

The steak wasn't a virgin, so it's not grape

High IQ

 

[SubhumanGamer]

That would probably hurt tbh

How?? Cut a hole so it is a snug fit then use it like a fleshlight

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

How?? Cut a hole so it is a snug fit then use it like a fleshlight

It wouldn't be smooth at all (unless you smoothened the inside part ig)

 

[proudweeb]

worse than that time I used applesauce

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

I don't think consent matters. You fucked an chunk of animal

Someone's jealous

 

[WorthlessSlavicShit]

Well... at least the title wasn't clickbait...

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

worse than that time I used applesauce

How would that even work?

Also I like your avi. Reminds me of the dinosaur in peppa pig

 

[proudweeb]

How would that even work?

Also I like your avi. Reminds me of the dinosaur in peppa pig

It didn't work trust me

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

It didn't work trust me

Brutal applesaucepill

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

@BLACKED.COM @VideoGameCoper

 

[VideoGameCoper]

@BLACKED.COM @VideoGameCoper

Lmao . That’s wild. This is what inceldom does to a motherfucker.

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

Lmao . That’s wild. This is what inceldom does to a motherfucker.

I gave that steak some good dick tbh.

I should have recorded it and posted it to IT

 

[VideoGameCoper]

I gave that steak some good dick tbh.

I should have recorded it and posted it to IT

That would have been funny af

 

[Juice]

I would call this weird but I remembered when I almost fucked a banana, I saw it on 4cuck and I got inspired, grabbed a banana but I didn’t go through with it because it felt wrong

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

I would call this weird but I remembered when I almost fucked a banana, I saw it on 4cuck and I got inspired, grabbed a banana but I didn’t go through with it because it felt wrong

You should do it tbh.

Peel the banana from the bottom, remove the banana and fuck the peel.

You will not regret it

 

[Juice]

You should do it tbh.

Peel the banana from the bottom, remove the banana and fuck the peel.

You will not regret it

Speaking from experience? I’d rather stick to using a glove with lotion in it, and that’s on rare occasions, most of the time I would just use my hand.

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

Speaking from experience? I’d rather stick to using a glove with lotion in it, and that’s on rare occasions, most of the time I would just use my hand.

Yes I'm speaking from experience.

If you take to long the peel gets a bit dry tho

 

[Juice]

Yes I'm speaking from experience.

If you take to long the peel gets a bit dry tho

Yeah but I’d imagine the friction would keep it warm and lubricated jfl

 

[comorange]

 

[Left4DeadDarkie]

Oh you poor grey.

I'm sorry this had to be one of the first posts you've seen on here lol

 

[comorange]

Oh you poor grey.

I'm sorry this had to be one of the first posts you've seen on here lol

One of the best

 

[VideoGameCoper]

Oh you poor grey.

I'm sorry this had to be one of the first posts you've seen on here lol

 

[VideoGameCoper]

Strong first post

 

[allDead]

Based steak fucker

 

[lifeisfucked215]

Holy shit this is insane
What no pussy does to a mf

 

[Triple Zero]

@Saysitsover type beat