Venting The threshold between nostalgia and regrets

[LeonTheSilent]

Now and then i give a look at social media of people i knew. A mix of sorrow and longing takes me. Where did i lost myself ?
All the smiles, the travels, families that came to be. The parties i never went to, the love i never got.
I never changed, since childhood the feeling of stuckness never went away. Is like i was always here.

But i have to keep up and, somehow move, let go, forget.
Maybe forgottenness is, in same way, rebirth.

 

[VideoGameCoper]

Nostalgia hits hard for me. It's like childhood was so far in the past because of all the suffering and bitterness that came later on, but at the same time, I still feel stuck in childhood since I never got the necessary milestone experiences like teen love and a teen friend group to move into adulthood. It's like being stuck in between childhood and adulthood with no exit

 

[Clarus]

Nostalgia hits hard for me. It's like childhood was so far in the past because of all the suffering and bitterness that came later on, but at the same time, I still feel stuck in childhood since I never got the necessary milestone experiences like teen love and a teen friend group to move into adulthood. It's like being stuck in between childhood and adulthood with no exit

dey aint got sex dolls in the past so u aint need nostalgia

 

[beyondschizo]

Nostalgia hits hard for me. It's like childhood was so far in the past because of all the suffering and bitterness that came later on, but at the same time, I still feel stuck in childhood since I never got the necessary milestone experiences like teen love and a teen friend group to move into adulthood. It's like being stuck in between childhood and adulthood with no exit

Yea same for me. I still feel and act like a 16 yo despite being 22

 

[VideoGameCoper]

dey aint got sex dolls in the past so u aint need nostalgia

Sex dolls are a good cope, but in the past, like the boomer era, I wouldn't even need one. I'd just be able to fuck a real looksmatched woman

 

[LeonTheSilent]

Nostalgia hits hard for me. It's like childhood was so far in the past because of all the suffering and bitterness that came later on, but at the same time, I still feel stuck in childhood since I never got the necessary milestone experiences like teen love and a teen friend group to move into adulthood. It's like being stuck in between childhood and adulthood with no exit

Yes, indeed.
And as time goes by... just gets worse.

 

[VideoGameCoper]

Yea same for me. I still feel and act like a 16 yo despite being 22

Currently a few months past 19, and still feel 16 mentally in many ways. Nothing that should have happened back then ever did. Missed so much and there is no going back. In other ways, I feel old. I feel so aged and have been through so much that most people never suffered through in an entire lifetime

 

[VideoGameCoper]

Yes, indeed.
And as time goes by... just gets worse.

The gap between the aging body and underdeveloped psyche only grows bigger and bigger the more time passes without experiencing milestones like teen love

 

[Clarus]

Sex dolls are a good cope, but in the past, like the boomer era, I wouldn't even need one. I'd just be able to fuck a real looksmatched woman

idk no1 kno who wud happen it al speculation and not worth it 2 thnk about 2 much take away from our curent living

 

[LeonTheSilent]

Yea same for me. I still feel and act like a 16 yo despite being 22

Wait until you get 30 and still feel like 16.... Will be wild.

 

[VideoGameCoper]

idk no1 kno who wud happen it al speculation and not worth it 2 thnk about 2 much take away from our curent living

Yeah, no way to know for sure

 

[beyondschizo]

Currently a few months past 19, and still feel 16 mentally in many ways. Nothing that should have happened back then ever did. Missed so much and there is no going back. In other ways, I feel old. I feel so aged and have been through so much that most people never suffered through in an entire lifetime

When I was 16 my mother divorce-raped my father and I would only see him a couple of hours every month at best. Going through my late teens without a father figure mentally destroyed me and my mother was and still is a abusive whore. So I still feel like a teenager who's still in high school and doesn't want to grow up

 

[Don Vito]

Nostalgia hits hard for me. It's like childhood was so far in the past because of all the suffering and bitterness that came later on, but at the same time, I still feel stuck in childhood since I never got the necessary milestone experiences like teen love and a teen friend group to move into adulthood. It's like being stuck in between childhood and adulthood with no exit

Is it possible to catch up all the missed stuff with cocaine?

 

[VideoGameCoper]

When I was 16 my mother divorce-raped my father and I would only see him a couple of hours every month at best. Going through my late teens without a father figure mentally destroyed me and my mother was and still is a abusive whore. So I still feel like a teenager who's still in high school and doesn't want to grow up

Brutal. My parents lived together until my father died, but they hadn't had love in over 15 years. Might as well have been divorced

 

[beyondschizo]

Brutal. My parents lived together until my father died, but they hadn't had love in over 15 years. Might as well have been divorced

I'm sorry for your loss brocel

 

[VideoGameCoper]

Is it possible to catch up all the missed stuff with cocaine?

Might help. Perhaps find a hooker and take some cocaine beforehand to enhance it and find out, JFL. Seriously though, nothing is gonna make up for those lost years. Certain things need to happen at the correct times, or it will never be the same.

 

[VideoGameCoper]

I'm sorry for your loss brocel

Thanks. It was awful. Happened just after I turned 19. Miss him a ton. He was my best friend in life, and we did a ton of awesome car stuff together. I still do the car hobby, but it isn't the same without him

 

[beyondschizo]

Certain things need to happen at the correct times, or it will never be the same.

This scares me the most. Even if I eventually ascend and find true love I feel like I will never be the same as before. The damage that has been done in the past years is irreversible.

 

[Don Vito]

Now and then i give a look at social media of people i knew. A mix of sorrow and longing takes me. Where did i lost myself ?
All the smiles, the travels, families that came to be. The parties i never went to, the love i never got.
I never changed, since childhood the feeling of stuckness never went away. Is like i was always here.

But i have to keep up and, somehow move, let go, forget.
Maybe forgottenness is, in same way, rebirth.

I feel you brother. I've been coping with cocaine whenever I interact in crowed scenarios and with MDMA+mainstream sexhaver songs like dancehall when visit hookers.

I think its the closest thing to "catch up" (not really) regular folks.

 

[VideoGameCoper]

This scares me the most. Even if I eventually ascend and find true love I feel like I will never be the same as before. The damage that has been done in the past years is irreversible.

Yeah, it is true, sadly. Some damage is already done, and there is no reversing it. Getting a loving gf would help a ton, even now, but there will always be that doubt in your mind, that sense of unease. There is always gonna be a hole in your soul. Btw, here is a great video about this. Don't watch if you are feeling particularly depressed though. Definitely one of my favorite blackpill vids ever

View: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oM9J2D35z_A

 

[Don Vito]

Nostalgia hits hard for me. It's like childhood was so far in the past because of all the suffering and bitterness that came later on, but at the same time, I still feel stuck in childhood since I never got the necessary milestone experiences like teen love and a teen friend group to move into adulthood. It's like being stuck in between childhood and adulthood with no exit

For me its sadly the opposite. I refuge in childhood whenever stuff isnt going right.

 

[LeonTheSilent]

Is it possible to catch up all the missed stuff with cocaine?

No, i don´t think so. When you wake up and remember, the pain comes back.

 

[VideoGameCoper]

For me its sadly the opposite. I refuge in childhood whenever stuff isnt going right.

That's kinda what I meant. We are stuck in childhood in many ways. I often rewatch old cartoons and nostalgic vids to feel alive again

 

[LeonTheSilent]

I feel you brother. I've been coping with cocaine whenever I interact in crowed scenarios and with MDMA+mainstream sexhaver songs like dancehall when visit hookers.

I think its the closest thing to "catch up" (not really) regular folks.

I see. I try it with coffee and gym. Getting myself tired is a good distraction.

 

[Fevet]

What is there to lament on if I was genetically predisposed to have none of it?

 

[LeonTheSilent]

This scares me the most. Even if I eventually ascend and find true love I feel like I will never be the same as before. The damage that has been done in the past years is irreversible.

A combo of trauma + blackpill. Damn.

 

[Don Vito]

That's kinda what I meant. We are stuck in childhood in many ways. I often rewatch old cartoons and nostalgic vids to feel alive again

Lord Jesus. I do the same too. I also watch people reacting to shows and movies I watched in childhood and teenhood.

 

[LeonTheSilent]

What is there to lament on if I was genetically predisposed to have none of it?

Because there was a time before the blackpill, before the realization that it is all over. It was a lie, but was a good lie to live on.

 

[VideoGameCoper]

Lord Jesus. I do the same too. I also watch people reacting to shows and movies I watched in childhood and teenhood.

Damn that's so relatable. I literally re-watched the entire 2003 Teen titans show a few months ago to relive the nostalgia. I do that every year or two to remind me of when life just felt better. I also listen to the songs I liked as a kid over and over again. There's many old cartoons I re-watch too