over the past few weeks I have been contemplating to leave my house for the first time in almost a month(I hadnt showered, brushed or anything) I leave my house and all it is is normies and rope fuel, this is absolutely terrible, I am so repulsive everyone basically ignored my existence, people shunned away from me when I tried to ask for directions to a place (I HAD TO FUCKING SHOP OF ALL THINGS) and people were just fucking hostile, genuinely the next fucking thing left for me is just to fucking rope I'm so young but I already know what is in store for me and my future a regular person's life stops being enjoyable after high school tbh and thats even if they enjoy high school(I SURE AS HELL FUCKING DIDNT) college is meant for girls and athletes to enjoy and life after that is just 9-5 wageslaving for chad if you arent NEET already, and I cant neet because I'd have nowhere to slay since I have learned about the blackpill (roughly 6 months prior) I have gradually been feeling worse and worse about myself obviously It started off as a joke I brushed off but now my life is brutal, obviously this is probably the best thing to happen to me because If not for the blackpill I'd be jestermaxxed probably with still no gf and doing all this dumb bluepill cope like thinking personality matters but as of the last few months all that's been on my mind is roping I genuinely cant stand having my own face or body any more, I feel humiliated to just be fucking alive when there are people who dont have to do anything but walk outside and be praised for their existence obviously I've been able to cope with hating my existence by just cutting everyone off and Sitting inside the house all day but genuinely roping might be something that will happen in the next few weeks it's absolutely killing me how fucking ugly I am and how unlovable my face is, every fucking night I pray to be lovable or at least to be treated better by the general public but the next morning there I am woken up looking more subhuman than I do the last day I am so fucking ugly there's literally no more copes that work I've tried everything and after all my copes I still wanna rope I am sorry for this long vent session but I need this off my chest also shoutout @Gogetacel for putting me on to not leaving my house for extensive periods If not for that method I would've roped a month and a half ago
