A quiet evening, night falling fast, and me outside a Chinese bar with those who should be considered my friends, "my true friends." Suddenly, time stands still, everything freezes and shivers a little, fixed, gloomy stares directed at me. I think I know why, but I'll keep that to myself, in private. they stare motionless, people who should be reasonable, who understand others, who are able to perceive what is now the pure sad truth and what is not, but, it seems, that is not really their way. Stares fixed, fixed and aimed like a rifle at me, there he is, the culprit, the one who "would not want to be part of the others," the others who? The false, corrupt others, the selfish others who are on their side, not that they are, for heaven's sake; it is becoming increasingly difficult nowadays to distinguish between who is and who is not. Illusions, deep illusions are theirs, or is it unwillingness to accept? Not wanting to accept or pretending nothing is wrong, putting it aside, pretending that nothing is wrong, that there is no bad perception of themselves, greetings and hugs as dry as autumn leaves, as if to say, yes, we know too, but don't pay attention to it, just live your life, right? Keep fighting, of course. Great illusions and not accepting the real situation, in society, in relationships, not accepting; I want to continue to be a good guy, deluding myself, deluding everyone else and those around me. At first glance, I'm there, perhaps the first, if I can, to speak positively about someone who was rightly viewed with a little suspicion, with a little denial by someone, but I don't accept it definitively, I pretend nothing has happened, as I have done until now; I continue to be the "good" guy, the one who doesn't get discouraged, the one who doesn't get carried away by negative thoughts... Of course. At first, I pretend nothing has happened, I forget everything, and I am the first to take the initiative, I am the first to speak so well as if nothing had happened, as if everything were okay and there were only flowers shining around us, accompanying us on our adventure. Faces that were slightly perplexed a moment ago, startled by what they were hearing and seeing, and yet, we must not be fooled, of course, it depends only on... Which side of the story.
