The struggle of falling asleep knowing that

[Lonelyus]

-I missed out on teen love
-im subhuman
-i keep thinking of chads snapchat
-I keep seeing my life flash me by
-The girls i like doesnt like me back
-im undesirable and dont see it get better
-im an antisocial loser that wished he was social but then id have to look normal
-i have adhd and autism

I wish i was 16 again but reincarnated with a prettier face so i could start life over while i still have a chance, Then i wouldnt miss out on things, Or better yet be reborn at 1 but with a better face so i could start from scratch, Then i could have school friends and maybe a gf as i grow up but i guess im too old for school and im starting to get old, 30 is nearing and im 24, It keeps me up at night that my NPC character was so badly scripted that i cant have a normal life, Everyone in my family has had a GF/BF while growing up and me? Well im subhuman, I feel utterly fucked in life by the fact that my character creation was so botched, A jew nose and large creepy eyes, Being called creepy growing up, I had to rot with anime and videogames since 11 till now and between work and school, Finished college aswell as parents thought it would be a good fit, But it would just be the same as kid schools when i was younger, Alone or replaced by bullies seeing my friend gang go off with them or thinking their cooler, Could be the fact they were allowed to play cod while i had nothing to offer, Hey what is your killstreak in COD? Me? Im not allowed to play it, Them: LOOSER!

Maybe id have some friends if id be able to play cod while younger so i can socialize with them after school but idk, Ive always been that creepy looking autistic kid, No matter how much of a good heart ive had people would always piss on me and now i end up bitter at 24 when i originally should have been a happy social butterfly, It keeps me up at night, The fact that people go to fun fairs with their GFs they goto carnevals, Music festivals, Kiss, Hug, Hangout, Acting lovey dovey, And her i sit and watch it from the distance wishing it was me, All my attempts at getting a GF including better shape/Haircuts, Etc has always failed, I feel like an utter failure, I see people younger than me with a GF and i can never have that as an adult i can never have a girlfriend, I get mogged by older and younger people, What do they have that i dont? They have looks!

I wish genetics didnt exist and everyone would just accept eachother maybe treat eachother a little better, Its now 3:17 am and im kept awake ruminating about what could have been.

Im sure others can relate

Thanks for listening to my vent, It may help me sleep.

 

[pedrolopezwasright]

Melatonine helps me

 

[SubhumanGamer]

Melatonine helps me

So do GF asmr role plays and GF heartbeat asmrs

 

[pedrolopezwasright]

So do GF asmr role plays and GF heartbeat asmrs

It would make it only worse over time

 

[SubhumanGamer]

But yes the absolutely dread and despair that washes over me as I ponder my shitty life ans what I could change haunts my sleep cycle ever day. I feel you on this.

 

[SubhumanGamer]

It would make it only worse over time

It's a good cope in moderation, or you could binge it and gaslight yourself into thinking your a Casanova

 

[pedrolopezwasright]

It's a good cope in moderation, or you could binge it and gaslight yourself into thinking your a Casanova

over time you will probably get even more depressed that you need shit like this

 

[SubhumanGamer]

over time you will probably get even more depressed that you need shit like this

All roads lead to depression and suicide why not try to enjoy it a little lol

 

[pedrolopezwasright]

All roads lead to depression and suicide why not try to enjoy it a little lol

Suicide isn't option for me. I am trying to cope rn

 

[Lonelyus]

All roads lead to depression and suicide why not try to enjoy it a little lol

I cant see myself missing out on life forever but im aleredy 24 and socially inept.

 

[Lonelyus]

Suicide isn't option for me. I am trying to cope rn

I wouldnt rope, I dont know you personally but i do care, Dont do it brocel

 

[SoycuckGodOfReddit]

the struggle of falling asleep knowing that I can't be bothered to

 

[pedrolopezwasright]

I wouldnt rope, I dont know you personally but i do care, Dont do it brocel

Same for you brocel. Times might get hard but it will get better i promise

 

[Lonelyus]

the struggle of falling asleep knowing that I can't be bothered to

You can literally feel the crippling anxiety and depression as you fall asleep every night knowing there is NOTHING you can change, Its as @Kina Hikikomori said, We are genetic garbage, YOU may not be a garbage person and i dont believe you are, But our vessel is genetic garbage to normies, Therefore nothing we do can ever be right.

 

[Lonelyus]

I tried fitting in with metalheads, Doomers, Emos and other social rejects when normies rejected me as i was growing up, Still didnt work out because that is looks based too, Idk any other group i could hangout with, I never really fit in with anyone, Maybe a redneck inbred tribe in the southern US would fit my ugly bastard spawn quite well since none of the social outcasts want to deal with me when i try to fit in just like them.

No matter where i went, The question arrived, Whats wrong with your face?

 

[SoycuckGodOfReddit]

You can literally feel the crippling anxiety and depression as you fall asleep every night knowing there is NOTHING you can change,

idk but yea falling asleep is kinda tiring

 

[pedrolopezwasright]

idk but yea falling asleep is kinda tiring

Fr, sleeping is boring as fuck

 

[Lonelyus]

Fr, sleeping is boring as fuck

Its useless but its like suicide every night, You forget
you exist and then you wake up to another day in hell.