For TLDR jump down ->
It was the first week of 9th grade, I changed school again from merciless bullying and I got into a class were it also took a while for people to get accustomed of me. My classmates all came from low income households different from the previous school and my parents back then could basically been called "still middle class" that said I also IQ and Knowledge mogged my entire class, I completed 9th grade with a near straight A score - and I didn't even learn for anything. Everyone in this class had problems, drugs, family, crimes, mental health, money or pure stupidity that still some worked out as my NT MTN male classmates still for the most part ended up with girlfriends.
But it was that first 2 weeks specifically I remember perfectly. A guy called Eric, who later gone to the army/Bundeswehr and got married even - and he indeed looks like a truecel now belive it or not - but was extemly NT and extroverted and had a huge socisl circle due to having a Youtube with 300k subscriptions, told me about a guy who he forgot who joined just in 8th grade - similar to me my 8th grade classmates likely forgot about me just a few weeks or months after summer break I wouldnt even be shocked, yet I never forgot their bullying and animosity from the very first day. Yes "Hello" was enough to make me their victim.
Regardless I remember Erics words of how fast 8th grade went by.
And in fact so did 9th grade. I BREEZED through 9th grade. I talked to everyone in class as well as many other students in that school, I also became kinda a "teachers pet" for always doing extra work and helping out the teachers.
Despite that to none I could hold a long term relationship, a friendship. To me they were simply...too low IQ. I also got quite anxious and depressed from my previous life their and I was SOMETIMES reminded of it when a guy pushed me around or tried to just randomly drop kick me down the stairs.
That said when in 2015/16 10th grade came along...one Chadlite who had a girlfriend since age 13 but lived like a homeless person (I was at his place trice) asked me why I don't have established "friendship" with anyone in class yet, I gave him the most logical answer: There was no time. I already jumped Highschool 3 times...and it's just about a 100 schooldays left and a class of 28 people, see each other for only 6h a day, but schooling isn't that interactive, so in these 6 hours, how many do you give to one of 30 people? Let alone all of them?
One girl in my class I couldn't stand actually got annoyed because I was the only guy in that class who was not after her. She already had sex at 14 btw. She had gone past 5 boyfriends when I even came into class. I still remember two of her ex-boyfriends from another class coming by all the time to look after her. Basically they were just like friends with benefits. I didn't care about someone like that, why should I?
And when I told the Chadlite that...He kinda got understandable. I told him we wont get to see each other after the next 100 school days...He agreed. In fact I only ever saw him TWICE at random occassions afterwards. He was with his girlfriend on both of these occassions
Sometimes even now just randomly I meet people from the past and they talk to me like 10 to 15 years haven't happened. I can recognize most of em due to my memory for faces - but they were so random and uninteresting, I cannot remember a single meaningful interaction with any of them.
One guy who it was always ME who came up to him for funsies, approched me like he was a close neighbor and family friend or something. He had willingly spoken to ME (so him approching me for a rare case) for maybe 2 hours, 5 minutes and 8 seconds - and most of it was because or Homework, PE or a TV show. He also has aged up badly. Like milk. Almost couldn't recognize who he was and he was a rather popular guy back then.
That said past Highschool, especially the time between 12th grade and college - when I did all these odd jobs, I loathed these jobs, I hated that time. Retail, logistics, bakery, cooking, landscrape work I did all kinds of shit.
Random shit and it was all but a waste of time. The money isn't worth even showing up. I wont ever work a job below 30€ again, because I know how little money is actually worth and how even something a ton of Germans would call "guter Lohn" (good salery) I look at it and think to myself:
10 years gone by - college in a BREEZE. It was so fast even other guys at college said "thats behind us now" "I cant belive its been 3.5 years" one guy added. I told him he won't see me or anyone again...it's true.
WhatsApp channel dead and nobody ever came back to anyone. Not that I care, there was one other incel who told me about his Autism and his friendlessness despite that he was argubly a 6, maybe even a 7 on the lookslevel. He was astonished how at 23 I already "did so much".
Well...what do you mean "did so much"? Ultimately I jumped from one place to another. Sometimes I got fired after 2 weeks due to "inefficient work" or "no motivation" or "we don't actually need anyone this was a ghost application but we still let you work for 2 weeks out of spite" (this was at Lidl lol literall that manager was an asshole).
Sometimes I personally left after a month or two because of the toxicity of the employees. That data entry job I did in corona time besides my college study paid 2k (after takes) as someone without "Training" they said I was too fast and the other employees (old women) also want to do something. Lmfao.
One time I did what these 2 old hags done in a week I did in 2 hours. It was funny they came up at a friday after they realized that "the dats files have doubled" and I told them "No they haven't double I did that project on monday" WHAT? SO WE DID IT FOR NOTHING? Basically yes. SO WHAT ABOUT YOUR PROJECT? Well I did that on monday as well.
-> ON THE SIDE NOTE: How some of these old people work is unbelivable, so inefficient and out dated.
I quit thst job after 3 months due to being annoyed by how outdated everything was. The whole Management was a disaster.
Well regardless. The Gen Z consensus is to "Live in the moment" maybe I should too.
I got depressed because I gave too much a shit about my past and the possible horrible future - but tbh I am not nearly as depressed anymore now that I live more "in the moment" and see how fast this life goes by compared to the stream of time of all the universe. It's just a split cosmic second.
It was the first week of 9th grade, I changed school again from merciless bullying and I got into a class were it also took a while for people to get accustomed of me. My classmates all came from low income households different from the previous school and my parents back then could basically been called "still middle class" that said I also IQ and Knowledge mogged my entire class, I completed 9th grade with a near straight A score - and I didn't even learn for anything. Everyone in this class had problems, drugs, family, crimes, mental health, money or pure stupidity that still some worked out as my NT MTN male classmates still for the most part ended up with girlfriends.
But it was that first 2 weeks specifically I remember perfectly. A guy called Eric, who later gone to the army/Bundeswehr and got married even - and he indeed looks like a truecel now belive it or not - but was extemly NT and extroverted and had a huge socisl circle due to having a Youtube with 300k subscriptions, told me about a guy who he forgot who joined just in 8th grade - similar to me my 8th grade classmates likely forgot about me just a few weeks or months after summer break I wouldnt even be shocked, yet I never forgot their bullying and animosity from the very first day. Yes "Hello" was enough to make me their victim.
Regardless I remember Erics words of how fast 8th grade went by.
And in fact so did 9th grade. I BREEZED through 9th grade. I talked to everyone in class as well as many other students in that school, I also became kinda a "teachers pet" for always doing extra work and helping out the teachers.
Despite that to none I could hold a long term relationship, a friendship. To me they were simply...too low IQ. I also got quite anxious and depressed from my previous life their and I was SOMETIMES reminded of it when a guy pushed me around or tried to just randomly drop kick me down the stairs.
That said when in 2015/16 10th grade came along...one Chadlite who had a girlfriend since age 13 but lived like a homeless person (I was at his place trice) asked me why I don't have established "friendship" with anyone in class yet, I gave him the most logical answer: There was no time. I already jumped Highschool 3 times...and it's just about a 100 schooldays left and a class of 28 people, see each other for only 6h a day, but schooling isn't that interactive, so in these 6 hours, how many do you give to one of 30 people? Let alone all of them?
One girl in my class I couldn't stand actually got annoyed because I was the only guy in that class who was not after her. She already had sex at 14 btw. She had gone past 5 boyfriends when I even came into class. I still remember two of her ex-boyfriends from another class coming by all the time to look after her. Basically they were just like friends with benefits. I didn't care about someone like that, why should I?
And when I told the Chadlite that...He kinda got understandable. I told him we wont get to see each other after the next 100 school days...He agreed. In fact I only ever saw him TWICE at random occassions afterwards. He was with his girlfriend on both of these occassions
Sometimes even now just randomly I meet people from the past and they talk to me like 10 to 15 years haven't happened. I can recognize most of em due to my memory for faces - but they were so random and uninteresting, I cannot remember a single meaningful interaction with any of them.
One guy who it was always ME who came up to him for funsies, approched me like he was a close neighbor and family friend or something. He had willingly spoken to ME (so him approching me for a rare case) for maybe 2 hours, 5 minutes and 8 seconds - and most of it was because or Homework, PE or a TV show. He also has aged up badly. Like milk. Almost couldn't recognize who he was and he was a rather popular guy back then.
That said past Highschool, especially the time between 12th grade and college - when I did all these odd jobs, I loathed these jobs, I hated that time. Retail, logistics, bakery, cooking, landscrape work I did all kinds of shit.
Random shit and it was all but a waste of time. The money isn't worth even showing up. I wont ever work a job below 30€ again, because I know how little money is actually worth and how even something a ton of Germans would call "guter Lohn" (good salery) I look at it and think to myself:
10 years gone by - college in a BREEZE. It was so fast even other guys at college said "thats behind us now" "I cant belive its been 3.5 years" one guy added. I told him he won't see me or anyone again...it's true.
WhatsApp channel dead and nobody ever came back to anyone. Not that I care, there was one other incel who told me about his Autism and his friendlessness despite that he was argubly a 6, maybe even a 7 on the lookslevel. He was astonished how at 23 I already "did so much".
Well...what do you mean "did so much"? Ultimately I jumped from one place to another. Sometimes I got fired after 2 weeks due to "inefficient work" or "no motivation" or "we don't actually need anyone this was a ghost application but we still let you work for 2 weeks out of spite" (this was at Lidl lol literall that manager was an asshole).
Sometimes I personally left after a month or two because of the toxicity of the employees. That data entry job I did in corona time besides my college study paid 2k (after takes) as someone without "Training" they said I was too fast and the other employees (old women) also want to do something. Lmfao.
One time I did what these 2 old hags done in a week I did in 2 hours. It was funny they came up at a friday after they realized that "the dats files have doubled" and I told them "No they haven't double I did that project on monday" WHAT? SO WE DID IT FOR NOTHING? Basically yes. SO WHAT ABOUT YOUR PROJECT? Well I did that on monday as well.
-> ON THE SIDE NOTE: How some of these old people work is unbelivable, so inefficient and out dated.
I quit thst job after 3 months due to being annoyed by how outdated everything was. The whole Management was a disaster.
Well regardless. The Gen Z consensus is to "Live in the moment" maybe I should too.
I got depressed because I gave too much a shit about my past and the possible horrible future - but tbh I am not nearly as depressed anymore now that I live more "in the moment" and see how fast this life goes by compared to the stream of time of all the universe. It's just a split cosmic second.
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