I have ADHD, and idk what I'm doing with most of my life. I right now am on vacations, I'm gonna go back to classes on Friday to live another boring life. Vacations or not, life is boring as an adult with no gf and very few friends. I am studying software engineering, but I sometimes become distracted most of the day because I find it difficult to start studying. I also do exercise every day, but I find it hard to start doing exercise. Doing any activity without anyone pressuring me sucks because I don't do anything, but if someone pressures me, it also sucks because I feel I could do something with my time. I'm 20 years old and I already feel like I've wasted most of my life. I do get entertained in this forum reading and discussing in some posts. I like expressing my thoughts here, and what I do. But honestly, what is really the point of life? If I'm at home, I feel depressed because idk how to organize myself to do productive activities, and if I'm outside it also sucks because everyone socializes and I see couples while I'm just a loner. I also feel depressed when it's late on the afternoon, and I also sleep late. I wake up feeling tired and wishing I had slept more, and in the morning I waste time. I really feel like my life is repetitive, and I would consider suicide because it's the same boring stuff everyday, I'm not Chad, I'm just an incel here coping.
But there is a dream I have which is my Whitepill, imagination is the thing that keeps me alive, even though I don't put in practice that stupid imagination from how blackpilled I am. My dream is to create videogames, indie videogames with good stories. I have a good videogame idea of knock 'em out style, my idea is to play as a character that goes around beating enemies and the final boss the major zionist who controls the world. I'm also thinking on horror games, I wanna create videogames with my own stories of zombies or aliens, or some other terrifying creatures. I would also like to create videogames related to inceldom, like playing as ER and having to kill people just like GTA, or some game where you can rape foids and has a story. A lot of ideas come into my mind, I also wanna create an easy one that would be similar to Henry Stickmin, but about animals. I have some more ideas for videogames I sometimes think of like a game where I kill authoritarian commies or play as a Nazi. Anyways, I still need to learn to program to create these games, I know about math and vectors, so it might be kinda easy, but I have a difficulty focusing on making efficient code. Idk any tool to create a good game yet, all of them cost money, and I won't pay subscriptions when I know no shit about making videogames. But maybe in a fer years, I will create my first videogame and launch it, and then another, idc what it costs. I hope I can make money from videogames that become popular, and with that money I will finally ascend to have sex with Stacies, and maybe marry multiple of them. And yes, I also like playing videogames which keep me alive. If it weren't for videogames, I would have already committed suicide.
But there is a dream I have which is my Whitepill, imagination is the thing that keeps me alive, even though I don't put in practice that stupid imagination from how blackpilled I am. My dream is to create videogames, indie videogames with good stories. I have a good videogame idea of knock 'em out style, my idea is to play as a character that goes around beating enemies and the final boss the major zionist who controls the world. I'm also thinking on horror games, I wanna create videogames with my own stories of zombies or aliens, or some other terrifying creatures. I would also like to create videogames related to inceldom, like playing as ER and having to kill people just like GTA, or some game where you can rape foids and has a story. A lot of ideas come into my mind, I also wanna create an easy one that would be similar to Henry Stickmin, but about animals. I have some more ideas for videogames I sometimes think of like a game where I kill authoritarian commies or play as a Nazi. Anyways, I still need to learn to program to create these games, I know about math and vectors, so it might be kinda easy, but I have a difficulty focusing on making efficient code. Idk any tool to create a good game yet, all of them cost money, and I won't pay subscriptions when I know no shit about making videogames. But maybe in a fer years, I will create my first videogame and launch it, and then another, idc what it costs. I hope I can make money from videogames that become popular, and with that money I will finally ascend to have sex with Stacies, and maybe marry multiple of them. And yes, I also like playing videogames which keep me alive. If it weren't for videogames, I would have already committed suicide.
