WARNING: WALL OF TEXT
First of all, I'll clarify I didn't know what the redpill was back then, I didn't even speak english and knew nothing about the mgtow movement or the manosphere. I just understood that relationships were cucked in most cases and I was cynical about women based on my experiences and all the stuff I had observed in my life. However, I wasn't blackpilled, I believed my ugliness had something to do with my sexual failure but at the same time, I blamed my stupidity and social retardation for the most part and I also believed that I still had a chance to slay some low quality pussy by acting alpha, having a "fun" personality, and gymmaxxing
I was also delusional about affection and validation (I thought I didn't need any of that shit, I was just like the typical MSTOW in that regard). I should also mention I was really into PUA and everything related to "the art of seduction" (never paid for any of that stuff tho)
So the day was an autumn sunday around 4 years ago. I was working as a stockboy at a supermarket back then, so I had to go to work at 5:30 am. At 0:00 am I decided I was gonna go to a club alone at 2:00 am and spend the rest of the night trying to pick up a foid or at least get some numbers (I was desperate at this point after months of futile cold approaching in the streets and getting rejected by female coworkers). Some part of my mind knew that going alone to a club was a stupid idea but I was so desperate and delusional that I viewed myself as an alpha loner that didn't give a fuck and was free from the constraints of a social group, I thought foids would perceive me as "strong and confident" when in reality they would see me as a frustrated creep without a social circle (which I was)
So, after getting ready and watching PUA vids on youtube for two hours, I went to this club. As I approach the booth to buy a ticket to get in, the four bouncers at the entrance stop talking to each other and stare at me. I'm trying to act like a sociable confident man so I say "hey how y'all doing" and keep walking towards the ticket booth. I buy the ticket and go back to the entrance door and as I'm giving the ticket to one of the bouncers I say something like "how's the clique doing tonight?" but the dude gives me a cold stare and says "against the wall, I'm gonna frisk you" and I'm like "c'mon don't tell me I look like a criminal bro..." and the second bouncer says "if you don't like it you can leave" (had I left, the motherfuckers wouldn't have given me my money back of course) so I let the dude frisk me while trying to make light of the whole situation with jokes and they let me in. I feel humiliated but at the same time I'm glad the bastard didn't find my pocket knife so I forget about it.
What basically happened during the next 3 hours or so is that I made a complete fool of myself approaching small groups of foids and trying to "seduce" them with my "low inhib alpha attitude" and my retarded dance moves. I don't remember how many females I tried to interact with but out of all the cunts I approached only 4 didn't reject me right away and exchanged a few words with me (I suppose it was because they were short and in groups of only two so they must have felt intimidated or something) and the four of them asked me why I was alone and told me it was weird that I was alone. I interacted with men as well to make foids around think I was a people person and extroverted and shit but I just ended up making a fool of myself even more.
I endured the 3 hours without drinking alcohol, and even tho I was utterly defeated I still coped in my mind thinking I was special for having the balls to do this kind of thing alone, after all, I had experienced the same rejection at clubs before with the only difference being that this time my old friends weren't there to witness my failure. I told myself that maybe I just wasn't being lucky that night and I had to try again at other clubs and stuff, I was holding out hope like a fucking giga coper.
I left the place and drove to the supermarket where I worked and spend the rest of the sunday morning wageslaving like a fucking loser. And the worst part was at the end of the shift when I was talking to this new cashier and trying to flirt with her and she asked if I was a virgin and giggled I felt like I was getting stabbed in the fucking chest but I replied "why? are you into virgins or something?" to which she said no and continued giggling.
When I finally got back home I was so frustrated and tired I didn't even shower, I just LDAR'd in my bed until I fell asleep. It was definitely one of the most pathetic days in the "redpill phase" of my life, and maybe I could have avoided that experience if I wasn't so fucking low iq and realized that looks are the only thing that matters to foids at nightclubs.
First of all, I'll clarify I didn't know what the redpill was back then, I didn't even speak english and knew nothing about the mgtow movement or the manosphere. I just understood that relationships were cucked in most cases and I was cynical about women based on my experiences and all the stuff I had observed in my life. However, I wasn't blackpilled, I believed my ugliness had something to do with my sexual failure but at the same time, I blamed my stupidity and social retardation for the most part and I also believed that I still had a chance to slay some low quality pussy by acting alpha, having a "fun" personality, and gymmaxxing
I was also delusional about affection and validation (I thought I didn't need any of that shit, I was just like the typical MSTOW in that regard). I should also mention I was really into PUA and everything related to "the art of seduction" (never paid for any of that stuff tho)So the day was an autumn sunday around 4 years ago. I was working as a stockboy at a supermarket back then, so I had to go to work at 5:30 am. At 0:00 am I decided I was gonna go to a club alone at 2:00 am and spend the rest of the night trying to pick up a foid or at least get some numbers (I was desperate at this point after months of futile cold approaching in the streets and getting rejected by female coworkers). Some part of my mind knew that going alone to a club was a stupid idea but I was so desperate and delusional that I viewed myself as an alpha loner that didn't give a fuck and was free from the constraints of a social group, I thought foids would perceive me as "strong and confident" when in reality they would see me as a frustrated creep without a social circle (which I was)
So, after getting ready and watching PUA vids on youtube for two hours, I went to this club. As I approach the booth to buy a ticket to get in, the four bouncers at the entrance stop talking to each other and stare at me. I'm trying to act like a sociable confident man so I say "hey how y'all doing" and keep walking towards the ticket booth. I buy the ticket and go back to the entrance door and as I'm giving the ticket to one of the bouncers I say something like "how's the clique doing tonight?" but the dude gives me a cold stare and says "against the wall, I'm gonna frisk you" and I'm like "c'mon don't tell me I look like a criminal bro..." and the second bouncer says "if you don't like it you can leave" (had I left, the motherfuckers wouldn't have given me my money back of course) so I let the dude frisk me while trying to make light of the whole situation with jokes and they let me in. I feel humiliated but at the same time I'm glad the bastard didn't find my pocket knife so I forget about it.
What basically happened during the next 3 hours or so is that I made a complete fool of myself approaching small groups of foids and trying to "seduce" them with my "low inhib alpha attitude" and my retarded dance moves. I don't remember how many females I tried to interact with but out of all the cunts I approached only 4 didn't reject me right away and exchanged a few words with me (I suppose it was because they were short and in groups of only two so they must have felt intimidated or something) and the four of them asked me why I was alone and told me it was weird that I was alone. I interacted with men as well to make foids around think I was a people person and extroverted and shit but I just ended up making a fool of myself even more.
I endured the 3 hours without drinking alcohol, and even tho I was utterly defeated I still coped in my mind thinking I was special for having the balls to do this kind of thing alone, after all, I had experienced the same rejection at clubs before with the only difference being that this time my old friends weren't there to witness my failure. I told myself that maybe I just wasn't being lucky that night and I had to try again at other clubs and stuff, I was holding out hope like a fucking giga coper
.I left the place and drove to the supermarket where I worked and spend the rest of the sunday morning wageslaving like a fucking loser. And the worst part was at the end of the shift when I was talking to this new cashier and trying to flirt with her and she asked if I was a virgin and giggled
I felt like I was getting stabbed in the fucking chest but I replied "why? are you into virgins or something?" to which she said no and continued giggling.When I finally got back home I was so frustrated and tired I didn't even shower, I just LDAR'd in my bed until I fell asleep. It was definitely one of the most pathetic days in the "redpill phase" of my life, and maybe I could have avoided that experience if I wasn't so fucking low iq and realized that looks are the only thing that matters to foids at nightclubs.
