Years of generational trauma followed closely by a set of very unfavorable genes in many aspects (ugly eyes, trash jaw, big ass nose, overall ugly face, narrow shoulders and low muscle mass despite my somewhat athletic background, crappy voice and mental issues), have gifted me a life were I was always an outcast, sometimes even amongst the outcasts. It gave me a life where girls at every age ignored me if not downright make fun of me. It made it hard to make friends and therefore forced me to live through years upon years of loneliness. I have to pay credit where it's due, I had height and some IQ but they never managed to offset the rest of it.
I could never hang out with my friends because my friends were all like me: other fellow unfortunates, forced to live through a life they never asked for.
I was never invited to parties, only like 3 birthdays in my life. I never celebrated mine with my friends because, who would I invite?
My mother was depressed for many years, maybe even now. Her family are shitty people who made her like this and in turn she made us like this.
Nothing I ever did was enough to make me look like a guy that a girl wanted. No haircuts, no abs, no beard (patchy beard, thank you my genetics), no clothes, nothing.
Years of being treated like shit, outcasted, and ignored and hated by the opposite sex has made me bitter and resentful towards women, many men and society at large. I know they didn't give me these genes but I don't care. I TRIED blending in with them, I really did, only to be rejected in every turn.
I'm done. I will die alone. I won't struggle against my inevitable fate anymore. I'll never be in a ltr, let alone a marriage. I most likely will never have any kids.
My parents' trauma, my own trauma and pain and my shitty genes will all die with me. I can't bring someone else here after what I've experienced. They deserve better than what I could give them.
My line ends, the curse ends with me.
Until then, I'll try to get what I can out of my remaining days, and do the other things I've always wanted to do.
I could never hang out with my friends because my friends were all like me: other fellow unfortunates, forced to live through a life they never asked for.
I was never invited to parties, only like 3 birthdays in my life. I never celebrated mine with my friends because, who would I invite?
My mother was depressed for many years, maybe even now. Her family are shitty people who made her like this and in turn she made us like this.
Nothing I ever did was enough to make me look like a guy that a girl wanted. No haircuts, no abs, no beard (patchy beard, thank you my genetics), no clothes, nothing.
Years of being treated like shit, outcasted, and ignored and hated by the opposite sex has made me bitter and resentful towards women, many men and society at large. I know they didn't give me these genes but I don't care. I TRIED blending in with them, I really did, only to be rejected in every turn.
I'm done. I will die alone. I won't struggle against my inevitable fate anymore. I'll never be in a ltr, let alone a marriage. I most likely will never have any kids.
My parents' trauma, my own trauma and pain and my shitty genes will all die with me. I can't bring someone else here after what I've experienced. They deserve better than what I could give them.
My line ends, the curse ends with me.
Until then, I'll try to get what I can out of my remaining days, and do the other things I've always wanted to do.
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