"Is a guy who had cancer unlikeable and unloveable? Are a lot of people ableists?
I had Stage 4 nodular sclerosis Hodgkin's in my early 20s, and am 35 now. Have a bit of trouble with the long term effects. I am able to work part time and the lawyer says that SSDI should be coming in the next year or so. I had to move back home with my father about 6 years ago, since I couldn't maintain an apartment since I wasn't earning enough. I was in an 11 years relationship. I met my ex during chemo and ran across the country to be with her as soon as it was over. Followed her and her family around the country for so long. We had a gnarly breakup five years ago. I've had one date in that time. Tried all the apps / sites and a few thousand dollars pissed away for nothing. Did I waste my prime when I was able bodied on her? She was a cancer survivor also and I stayed with her for so long since I felt like no body else would ever want to have a relationship since I was sick. I have conducted extensive research into this and am familiar with the concepts of reproductive value and resource acquisition ability. It all seems to point that guys who were sick or have a disability are instantly written off as a potential partner by biology before the person can even have a chance to meet me. My dad has suggested church, clubs and such but I really don't do much. I was big into art and when I went to a few artist get togethers and things all people did was stare at my arm. I pretty much stopped producing any after that, it was hard to restrain myself from becoming belligerent or violent to them. I get a lot of people that think I suffer from a mental disability since my arm beds at the elbow and hand curls up when the swelling gets bad. Most humans just seem to hate people like me since we are sick or look different. I have had to quit jobs I liked a lot over the staring and comments."
I had Stage 4 nodular sclerosis Hodgkin's in my early 20s, and am 35 now. Have a bit of trouble with the long term effects. I am able to work part time and the lawyer says that SSDI should be coming in the next year or so. I had to move back home with my father about 6 years ago, since I couldn't maintain an apartment since I wasn't earning enough. I was in an 11 years relationship. I met my ex during chemo and ran across the country to be with her as soon as it was over. Followed her and her family around the country for so long. We had a gnarly breakup five years ago. I've had one date in that time. Tried all the apps / sites and a few thousand dollars pissed away for nothing. Did I waste my prime when I was able bodied on her? She was a cancer survivor also and I stayed with her for so long since I felt like no body else would ever want to have a relationship since I was sick. I have conducted extensive research into this and am familiar with the concepts of reproductive value and resource acquisition ability. It all seems to point that guys who were sick or have a disability are instantly written off as a potential partner by biology before the person can even have a chance to meet me. My dad has suggested church, clubs and such but I really don't do much. I was big into art and when I went to a few artist get togethers and things all people did was stare at my arm. I pretty much stopped producing any after that, it was hard to restrain myself from becoming belligerent or violent to them. I get a lot of people that think I suffer from a mental disability since my arm beds at the elbow and hand curls up when the swelling gets bad. Most humans just seem to hate people like me since we are sick or look different. I have had to quit jobs I liked a lot over the staring and comments."
"Stop obsessing over your cancer inkwell!!!!!! It's your obsession that drew her away!!!" 
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