i want to show you his very brutal story, he used to spam his blackpill topics on a forum i was back in days. you can check the post in french here if you want. https://www.jeuxvideo.com/forums/42-51-70654460-1-0-1-0-la-vie-cette-sale-race.htm
Come on, I'm going to save the earth once again
Oh no damn not yet
Shitty Genetics:
-Crohn's disease which has non-exhaustive consequences (diarrhea or constipation, stomach pain, gastro reflux, slight incontinence or even total incontinence, dehydration, reduced muscle mass, reduced bone density, common skin infection such as exczema or pimples that become infected very quickly, having to go to the toilet 5-6 times a day, weight loss, and so on).
- various problems with the anus and stomach
- at the psychological level: autistic, lack of empathy (once diagnosed as psychopathic but that's bullshit), depression, anxiety, deviant fantasies, various OCDs, addictions
- nasal deviation: -70% of the respiratory capacity that I should normally have
- asthma
- myopia (wearing glasses = directly judged by guys and girls, automatically linked to a nerd)
- hyperhidrosis (very anxious)
- skinny fat
- eczema
- double scoliosis
- osteoporosis
- rhinitis
- renal and adrenal insufficiency due to medications
- kyphosis (hunchback, visible even when wearing clothes, my last physiotherapist (6th physiotherapist) told me that she has never seen this in a young person my age)
- unavoidable lordosis
- baldness
- ugly, completely hideous
Social context :
- helicopter family too present
- ended up in a high school with rich peoples with people radically different from me consequence: 4 years of school bullying I had to taste my own shit once
- poor
- never had friends
- no one to talk to
- full virgin
Of course I never had a girlfriend or anything and I don't have a brief idea of what friendship is (usually just people hanging out when they didn't give a damn).
“muuhhhh dude, you should hit the gym”
Scoliosis
Fragile bones
Injured twice at the gym
1m61 (after recent recheck with the doctor)
What I did to try to get out of it:
For sports:
- swimming (1 year)
- judo (6 months)
- karate (7 years old)
- athletics (2 years)
- slippers (6 months)
I tried weight training twice, I got injured twice.
go out with people :laugh: IMPOSSIBLE to fit in I worked with 3 different psychologists (who came because of my illness initially but who tried to help me have friends).
Result: NO RELATIONSHIP, 0 PERSON TO TALK WITH + ALWAYS REJECTED (either because too nice and stupid I imagine, or because ugly and disabled, today it would be because I have become nihilist and I breathe the desire to die )
2 associations: one was a video game thing (since I had no friends and I was put in the geek box because I SEEMED a little more intelligent than average I told myself that it was the case) and a (much later) humanitarian (homeless).
Same result
For food: obliged to have a strict healthy diet. If I eat at McDonald's my stomach hurts the rest of the day
But I guess I just need to get my fingers out of my ass huh
At 13 I cried about my situation (since I was still trying and I was being humiliated from ALL sides (A L L)
Today I laugh out loud every time I think about it and I JERK OFF thinking about my miserable situation
Today that I no longer make any effort (for about 6 months) I admit that I am better, at least I am not confronted with systematic discomfort and humiliation
With that I'm going to sleep a little while healthy young people with passions and reasons to live have a good time
But there's worse, isn't it I shouldn't complain after all look at the other disabled person, he can't even speak properly, now let me talk with my GIRLFRIEND
I was always told that effort pays off.
With each recent release from the hospital, I lost everything I had been able to establish before, my efforts all evaporated, I didn't have much at the start... a semblance of dignity and even that.
In a few months, each time I took up sport, did my best to make a small circle of friends, I approached girls, went back to school, saved up to take a trip. 3 times in 4 years.
Until I realized one thing: it was useless
I realized that if I had stayed at home all this time the result would have been the same.
Very seriously, I've been struggling in life for 20 years, I'll be honest: until today I was happy, until I realized that the daily life of the child that I was will not change Never.
“Get off your ass” “The wheel is turning” “We can do anything in life” “It’s your fault :hap:”
Nothing is more hypocritical than this kind of explanation. As if you choose your starting kit when you start your game. As if it was the fault of the child that I was and the teenager that I subsequently became to fail in everything that he undertook out of bad luck. As if it's my fault for not understanding anything and being autistic when I'm trying my best to understand how society works.
An ugly shy guy with few friends who approaches --> a psychopath and it was always like that when I approached girls. Their first reaction is to laugh and say that it's weird when we have to ask them to go out for a drink, exchange numbers, discuss classes, etc. SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. Then, once they have given you their number to end the discussion as quickly as possible, they will cowardly tell you "no" by text message. And not even “no”. In general, the kind of stupid excuse I gave myself was "yes, sorry, it's complicated at the moment, etc."
When it happens to you once or twice you tell yourself that maybe she wasn't good enough for you, when it's the eleventh or twelfth time IRL you know that the problem comes from you and that it is irreparable.
Oh one last thing, I didn't approach top models, I also attracted less attractive or downright ugly girls, who had the same reaction. Even two fucking disabled people.
I also tried dating sites, 0 matches.
Mods don't delete it's the most exciting moment of my day.
I no longer respond to the stupid “pull your fingers out of your ass” when I have tried everything and failed. I'm not going to continue to humiliate myself for nothing. It's not fake.
Unfortunately I don't think I'll get away with it, I'm mainly doing this topic out of boredom.
I think there are people who are there just to be ridiculous in life. The bad guys in films, not the badass ones that we remember but the crazy ones that no one understands. I'm part of.
It's not possible that EVERYTHING my life has always been so rotten, it's just not possible that in almost 21 years NOTHING positive has happened.
I honestly think I'm CURSED.
I am a larva now, bitter about life, disinterested in ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, I hate myself, I would like to silence my terrible thoughts. I don't know what else to add.
Oh how I wish I were a real man. Be in good health, without psychological vices and physical weakness! I will never look like a man, no matter what I do, I have inherited a listless body from which I cannot escape. With the moral obligation to live, the only solution is waiting and derision of pathos.
PS: I would never commit suicide for many reasons.
Come on, I'm going to save the earth once again
Oh no damn not yet
Shitty Genetics:
-Crohn's disease which has non-exhaustive consequences (diarrhea or constipation, stomach pain, gastro reflux, slight incontinence or even total incontinence, dehydration, reduced muscle mass, reduced bone density, common skin infection such as exczema or pimples that become infected very quickly, having to go to the toilet 5-6 times a day, weight loss, and so on).
- various problems with the anus and stomach
- at the psychological level: autistic, lack of empathy (once diagnosed as psychopathic but that's bullshit), depression, anxiety, deviant fantasies, various OCDs, addictions
- nasal deviation: -70% of the respiratory capacity that I should normally have
- asthma
- myopia (wearing glasses = directly judged by guys and girls, automatically linked to a nerd)
- hyperhidrosis (very anxious)
- skinny fat
- eczema
- double scoliosis
- osteoporosis
- rhinitis
- renal and adrenal insufficiency due to medications
- kyphosis (hunchback, visible even when wearing clothes, my last physiotherapist (6th physiotherapist) told me that she has never seen this in a young person my age)
- unavoidable lordosis
- baldness
- ugly, completely hideous
Social context :
- helicopter family too present
- ended up in a high school with rich peoples with people radically different from me
consequence: 4 years of school bullying I had to taste my own shit once - poor
- never had friends
- no one to talk to
- full virgin
Of course I never had a girlfriend or anything and I don't have a brief idea of what friendship is (usually just people hanging out when they didn't give a damn).
“muuhhhh dude, you should hit the gym”
Scoliosis
Fragile bones
Injured twice at the gym
1m61 (after recent recheck with the doctor)
What I did to try to get out of it:
For sports:
- swimming (1 year)
- judo (6 months)
- karate (7 years old)
- athletics (2 years)
- slippers (6 months)
I tried weight training twice, I got injured twice.
go out with people :laugh: IMPOSSIBLE to fit in I worked with 3 different psychologists (who came because of my illness initially but who tried to help me have friends).
Result: NO RELATIONSHIP, 0 PERSON TO TALK WITH + ALWAYS REJECTED (either because too nice and stupid I imagine, or because ugly and disabled, today it would be because I have become nihilist and I breathe the desire to die
)2 associations: one was a video game thing (since I had no friends and I was put in the geek box because I SEEMED a little more intelligent than average I told myself that it was the case) and a (much later) humanitarian (homeless).
Same result
For food: obliged to have a strict healthy diet. If I eat at McDonald's my stomach hurts the rest of the day
But I guess I just need to get my fingers out of my ass huh
At 13 I cried about my situation (since I was still trying and I was being humiliated from ALL sides (A L L)
Today I laugh out loud every time I think about it and I JERK OFF thinking about my miserable situation
Today that I no longer make any effort (for about 6 months) I admit that I am better, at least I am not confronted with systematic discomfort and humiliation
With that I'm going to sleep a little
while healthy young people with passions and reasons to live have a good time But there's worse, isn't it
I shouldn't complain after all look at the other disabled person, he can't even speak properly, now let me talk with my GIRLFRIEND I was always told that effort pays off.
With each recent release from the hospital, I lost everything I had been able to establish before, my efforts all evaporated, I didn't have much at the start... a semblance of dignity and even that.
In a few months, each time I took up sport, did my best to make a small circle of friends, I approached girls, went back to school, saved up to take a trip. 3 times in 4 years.
Until I realized one thing: it was useless
I realized that if I had stayed at home all this time the result would have been the same.
Very seriously, I've been struggling in life for 20 years, I'll be honest: until today I was happy, until I realized that the daily life of the child that I was will not change Never.
“Get off your ass” “The wheel is turning” “We can do anything in life” “It’s your fault :hap:”
Nothing is more hypocritical than this kind of explanation. As if you choose your starting kit when you start your game. As if it was the fault of the child that I was and the teenager that I subsequently became to fail in everything that he undertook out of bad luck. As if it's my fault for not understanding anything and being autistic when I'm trying my best to understand how society works.
An ugly shy guy with few friends who approaches --> a psychopath and it was always like that when I approached girls. Their first reaction is to laugh and say that it's weird when we have to ask them to go out for a drink, exchange numbers, discuss classes, etc. SEVERAL TIMES A DAY. Then, once they have given you their number to end the discussion as quickly as possible, they will cowardly tell you "no" by text message. And not even “no”. In general, the kind of stupid excuse I gave myself was "yes, sorry, it's complicated at the moment, etc."
When it happens to you once or twice you tell yourself that maybe she wasn't good enough for you, when it's the eleventh or twelfth time IRL you know that the problem comes from you and that it is irreparable.
Oh one last thing, I didn't approach top models, I also attracted less attractive or downright ugly girls, who had the same reaction. Even two fucking disabled people.
I also tried dating sites, 0 matches.
Mods don't delete it's the most exciting moment of my day.
I no longer respond to the stupid “pull your fingers out of your ass” when I have tried everything and failed. I'm not going to continue to humiliate myself for nothing. It's not fake.
Unfortunately I don't think I'll get away with it, I'm mainly doing this topic out of boredom.
I think there are people who are there just to be ridiculous in life. The bad guys in films, not the badass ones that we remember but the crazy ones that no one understands. I'm part of.
It's not possible that EVERYTHING my life has always been so rotten, it's just not possible that in almost 21 years NOTHING positive has happened.
I honestly think I'm CURSED.
I am a larva now, bitter about life, disinterested in ABSOLUTELY EVERYTHING, I hate myself, I would like to silence my terrible thoughts. I don't know what else to add.
Oh how I wish I were a real man. Be in good health, without psychological vices and physical weakness! I will never look like a man, no matter what I do, I have inherited a listless body from which I cannot escape. With the moral obligation to live, the only solution is waiting and derision of pathos.
PS: I would never commit suicide for many reasons.
