I
iiiTeMpeR
Banned
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- Joined
- Nov 7, 2017
- Posts
- 2,858
StAliaHarkonnen said:It's one of the all time favorites, on its way to become a classic. All you need to do to play is pick your role, grab some snacks, and you're all set for the next few memorable hours with your favorite website.
Game starts when The Instigator asks one of many varieties of The Question, to which one of the Reddit Opportunists brings us up. Then the game is on, and each karma anxious redditor gets to play a fun part:
There is the Sweet Summer Child who knows nothing. They are there to ask questions, with a good dose of apprehension. "r/incels? Never heard of it, what does it stand for?" "I'm scared to click on it. OMG what are my eyes seeing? Are these people serious?" "What is a Chad? What is a normie? Why do they call women females? What does all this mean and why am I so scared?" You get the idea. Of course they know what we are - the instant affected fear and dismay regardless of what is currently on the front page combined with all of them using the same exact phrasing betrays them. But now they get to play the role of a figurative virgin whose innocent naivety serves as a white canvas that they know the rest of the redditors are about to paint a very dark picture on.
Then there is The Knowledgeable One. They and Summer Children jerk each other off in their little role play. He explains, lays out the facts, the Summer Child and the team reply in shock, then he shows them more. It's ego rewarding to be the narrator eliciting such strong reactions from others who gather around them in fear and awe like kids around the campfire listening to the best horror story that's ever been told.
Then of course there is the Fearmonger. They make the story more effective by exaggerating the shit out of it to everyone's great joy. "These guys should be on FBI watch list!" they'll say, or "They worship Elliot Rodger!" Then they remind that "They are among us and could be anyone!" while askreddit screams in terror. They will conveniently pull out their personal "best of" post list to show we are homicidal necrophiliac incestuous pedophile narcissistic psychopaths who threaten to destroy the world and send all females to breeding farms or something.
This really gives crowds a hard on but then there is the Incel Whisperer, the one who truly understands us, to prevent premature ejaculation.
There are two types of Incel Whisperer, first one is the Armchair Psychologist. They grab the attention by making it look like they'll play the devil's advocate. They state they understand where we're coming from and then explain to others in a calm and rational tone all the circumstance that led us to be what we are. Before anyone can accuse them of solidarity, they use this build up to then give the final damning verdict, and that is "No Excuse." They speak of autism, depression and anxiety and then diagnose sociopathy and narcissism in just one comment, displaying their intricate understanding of (sub) human psychology and balanced and rational mindset in a sea of hysteria. Of course, while jerking off to the same tune and giving scientific credibility to the witch-hunt.
The other Incel Whisperer type is the Empath. The Empath takes a more emotional approach, they personally sympathize, they put more focus on "pain and mental illness", they've been there, they really really want to feel for us but unfortunately they can't give this amazing gift of sympathy they spent their whole comment on describing cause we're so rude. Or, some of us are. If only we could just get those bad ones under control all this pity would be ours. Think of that next time you upvote some incel's rant on how every normie is a cuck, as these are the people you're alienating!
Then there is the inevitable-to-appear-in-any-topic-ever Self Help Guru who will screen for Empaths to give them advice, considering these poor souls are supposedly the closest thing to us but willing to listen, or just generally lay out what we and people like us are supposed to do to self improve. Redditors will find it very inspiring. Some will even have all sorts of personal problems solved by these ingenious comments. Lives will be saved.
The r/Incel Survivor brings some extra credibility to The Knowledgable One and The Fearmonger's story telling by using Personal Experience on this sub. See, he wandered in here cluelessly like a Sweet Summer Child would had they not been warned. He announced he was coming in peace, he offered some priceless advice like a Self Help Guru would, and then got cursed out by the vicious and vile people that roam these areas. In his short visit he saw horrors beyond his wildest imagination and now his reality will never be the same again. Ask him anything about his fascinating experience, and don't forget to upvote.
Then on cue, the inevitable Reddit Comedian will pop in to lighten up the atmosphere just when it gets too tense for little redditors who were about to pee their pants. They remind them not to worry cause we don't go out much anyway, and crack a sex joke or two.
And what would any place be without the Female who can essentially play any of the above mentioned roles but "As A Woman", thereby making them infinitely more impactful.
They all get to use fun words like Echo Chamber, Toxic Environment, Crabs in a Bucket, and other well rehearsed phrases they've seen other redditors use to portray this place. Every time they do they feel an immense sense of belonging and get one step closer to the climax.
It's a wonderful game every Reddior Normie can enjoy, guaranteed to bring attention and upvotes to you no matter which role you decide to play - and if tomorrow you feel like being the Self Help Guru rather than the Fearmonger, that's ok, because there will be plenty of chances to play again. Just ask askreddit the right question, wait for it, and it's on again!
God bless /u/StAliaHarkonnen, he described reddit so eloquently here, if you skipped till the end and didn't read go back and read it, it's worth it.
