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Blackpill The average American has only one close friend.

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About a month ago, a group of about 20 men — all fathers in their 30s and 40s — gathered at a home in Oakland, California to talk fatherhood.

Alarmingly, when asked how many of them had "real friends" — the kind of confidantes with whom they could talk honestly and vulnerably about life on a regular basis, through good times and bad — only two people raised their hands.

[UWSL]It might be tempting to interpret this sense of isolation as a crisis of masculinity in the US. But the available research suggests that loneliness is a problem that supersedes gender.[/UWSL]

In a revealing sociological study, a large percentage of Americans report having shrinking networks and fewer relationships. The average American has only one close confidante, the same study showed. And the leading reasonpeople seek out counseling is loneliness.

The reason we're lonely​

Why do so many Americans feel disconnected from one another? Many critics have blamed social media and smartphones. But the truth is that online [UWSL]social platforms[/UWSL] often help us feel more connected to our communities — not less. The larger issue lies not with technology, but with Americans' individualistic ideology.

Americans like to think of themselves as independent, unique and autonomous, as a classic study by Stanford psychology professor Hazel Markus has shown and described in her book Clash: How to Thrive in a Multicultural World. Like other individualistic cultures, mostly in Western Europe but also in some immigrant cultures, Americans want to stand out.

Similar ideas were also emphasized by American transcendentalists including Ralph Waldo Emerson. In Emerson's essay "Self-Reliance," he claims that it is the job of individuals to find their own voice, path, and life calling. "Be yourself," he wrote, "no best imitator of another, but your best self."
Immigrant culture also influenced American individualism, as our ancestors strove to forge their own path toward the American Dream.

Individualism in the US can differ by socioeconomic level. Working-class Americans tend to act more collectivistically, according to researchby Kellogg School of Management professor Nicole Stephens. For example, people of higher economic status tend to be more independent, whereas poorer people often tend to be more collectivistic. But in general, Americans pride themselves on their independence, on their ability to succeed and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Our quest for independence may also be responsible for our current crisis of loneliness. We know from decades of research described in our book The Happiness Track that our greatest need — after food and shelter — is for social connection. From birth through old age, we need to feel that we belong.

Yet we can easily become isolated from one another. Some of us get competitive when we compare ourselves with our peers; others get trapped in 12-hour work days or scatter across the country in the quest for achievement. We drown in workaholism and the busyness of life, then numb ourselves with alcohol and [UWSL]Netflix. [/UWSL][UWSL]Yet social connection is what we all desperately want — that sense of deep and powerful intimacy, whether it's with a romantic partner or a friend.[/UWSL]
 
I had 1 close friend irl & then he betrayed me and tried to ruin my life by sending like 3 years worth of incriminating dm conversations to the police and my school and my family and I almost got sent to jail. Strong contender for the worst thing that has ever happened to me maby

Tbh I don't think the issue is with "American individualism" like this article says but just the insanely competitive and animalistic nature of male social conventions. Ambition and loyalty are two diametrically opposed concepts
 
Is this an opinion piece? I don't think Emma and Peter know what they're talking about. "Americans want to be individuals. But no wait, what they crave almost as much as food and shelter is to NOT be individuals."
 
Good Thread

And I truly appreciate your "anti-S.R.B" clause in our forum association. Loneliness does not bide with S.R.B well.
 
Yet social connection is what we all desperately want — that sense of deep and powerful intimacy, whether it's with
Interesting read. Usually you see this type of thing in collectivist cultures rather than individualistic ones. Seems like society is more materialistic and self obsessed than ever.
 
K so then how did they meet they’re wives if no social circle? Online doesn’t work, no one has a social circle these days, cold approaching is chad only, so wtf?
 
I dont believe thats true by the definition we would call close
 
I had 1 close friend irl & then he betrayed me and tried to ruin my life by sending like 3 years worth of incriminating dm conversations to the police and my school and my family and I almost got sent to jail. Strong contender for the worst thing that has ever happened to me maby
Damn what a snitch, hope you really cut off all communication with him, sounds like a total piece of shit.

Sure life without a partner is shit but life without male friendships it's probably worse.
 
Is this an opinion piece? I don't think Emma and Peter know what they're talking about. "Americans want to be individuals. But no wait, what they crave almost as much as food and shelter is to NOT be individuals."
Yes, BI is more like a blog, they reprint everything from everywhere.
I don't think your criticism stands, cognitive dissonance is pretty big in America. Even the most basic men and women have laughably contradictory desires and opinions.
 
I had 1 close friend irl & then he betrayed me and tried to ruin my life by sending like 3 years worth of incriminating dm conversations to the police and my school and my family and I almost got sent to jail. Strong contender for the worst thing that has ever happened to me maby
Damn wtf that's brutal. I hope you get a chance to beat his ass if you haven't already done so.
 
About a month ago, a group of about 20 men — all fathers in their 30s and 40s — gathered at a home in Oakland, California to talk fatherhood.

Alarmingly, when asked how many of them had "real friends" — the kind of confidantes with whom they could talk honestly and vulnerably about life on a regular basis, through good times and bad — only two people raised their hands.

[UWSL]It might be tempting to interpret this sense of isolation as a crisis of masculinity in the US. But the available research suggests that loneliness is a problem that supersedes gender.[/UWSL]

In a revealing sociological study, a large percentage of Americans report having shrinking networks and fewer relationships. The average American has only one close confidante, the same study showed. And the leading reasonpeople seek out counseling is loneliness.

The reason we're lonely​

Why do so many Americans feel disconnected from one another? Many critics have blamed social media and smartphones. But the truth is that online [UWSL]social platforms[/UWSL] often help us feel more connected to our communities — not less. The larger issue lies not with technology, but with Americans' individualistic ideology.

Americans like to think of themselves as independent, unique and autonomous, as a classic study by Stanford psychology professor Hazel Markus has shown and described in her book Clash: How to Thrive in a Multicultural World. Like other individualistic cultures, mostly in Western Europe but also in some immigrant cultures, Americans want to stand out.

Similar ideas were also emphasized by American transcendentalists including Ralph Waldo Emerson. In Emerson's essay "Self-Reliance," he claims that it is the job of individuals to find their own voice, path, and life calling. "Be yourself," he wrote, "no best imitator of another, but your best self."
Immigrant culture also influenced American individualism, as our ancestors strove to forge their own path toward the American Dream.

Individualism in the US can differ by socioeconomic level. Working-class Americans tend to act more collectivistically, according to researchby Kellogg School of Management professor Nicole Stephens. For example, people of higher economic status tend to be more independent, whereas poorer people often tend to be more collectivistic. But in general, Americans pride themselves on their independence, on their ability to succeed and pull themselves up by their bootstraps.

Our quest for independence may also be responsible for our current crisis of loneliness. We know from decades of research described in our book The Happiness Track that our greatest need — after food and shelter — is for social connection. From birth through old age, we need to feel that we belong.

Yet we can easily become isolated from one another. Some of us get competitive when we compare ourselves with our peers; others get trapped in 12-hour work days or scatter across the country in the quest for achievement. We drown in workaholism and the busyness of life, then numb ourselves with alcohol and [UWSL]Netflix. [/UWSL][UWSL]Yet social connection is what we all desperately want — that sense of deep and powerful intimacy, whether it's with a romantic partner or a friend.[/UWSL]
The average american mogs me then
 
It's like they do everything possible to avoid pointing out America's deteriorating social institutions, social media driven sociopathy, the collapse of community, unchecked and runaway hypergamy, and the stressful work environments that force you to compete with people who should be your compatriots.
First clue that the author was full of shit was them citing a book with the word "multicultural" in it. :feelsseriously:
 

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