One time I was on break with my two female coworker friends (we worked at a stadium) and for break we just decided to sit down and watch the baseball game. So, in my head I was kinda thinking, "yes! I finally get to feel like a normal guy hanging out with girls". So, the three of us go and sit down together and all is going well. The girl I liked sat in the middle and me and my other female coworker were on either sides. So for awhile things are going well, it's a nice rainy day, it's perfect weather, everything feels good. But, as I'm sitting there trying to flirt with the girl I like, a bird comes by and shits on me. No lie. Out of all the hundreds of people around me, the bird decides to shit on me out of everyone. It's like I'm in the matrix and the architect programmed some shit to purposely fuck with me because I'm a non-NPC. So, the girl I like looks at me and goes, "omg did that bird just shit on you?" And I'm like, "yeah, fucking bird." And she tells me to go clean myself up. And I had to walk all the way to the bathroom and when I came back, I sat back down and tried to play it off. I can't win. Even when it seems like I'm close to winning, something comes out of nowhere to fuck it up for me. I feel like I'm being watched on some control panel and things around me are programmed to be a certain way.
