So the Jewish owned Channel 4 in Sweden (the channel that made the incel documentary) were talking about the difficulties of finding a partner, especially on dating apps like Tinder. The guest was a girl called Amanda Romare who was talking about her newly published book "half of Malmö consists of guys that have dumped me" where she talks about all her "failed" tinder-dates and how sad it is that she can't find someone.
The host asked the psychologist whether the problem of finding someone is harder for men or for women. The answer was probably the most fucked-up thing I heard. Let me quote exactly the dialogue.
"I believe it often manifests in different ways among men and women. Afterall we are all individuals so we have to take this into consideration, but this is a phenomenon that is more usual in bigger cities, more usual among women, especially women that are in the middle of their career.
The host: "And why do you believe that it is like this?"
The psycho: "We have never had access to more potential partners like now, but it also means that we think a little wrong when we are finding partners. One of the things we do wrong is that we try to become as attractive as possible in order to look perfect so that others can like you. The more you do this, the less genuine you become. You distance yourself from a potential partner. This is often the case when you get a couple of No which I believe is best decribed here. If you are the least empathetic it is very hard when someone doesn't select you which will lead you to put an image of yourself looking more good.
Host: "So how should we think? You talk about being genuine as a key word."
Psycho: "Well, if you are going to be clear, you have to differentiate between looking for someone just to have fun with, but if you are looking for a genuine relationship, the advice is to stop trying to make yourself more attractive as possible, because you make yourself attractive to attract as many as possible, but you only need one! It is more important to meet the right one instead of meeting many. And in order to do that you have to introduce an image of yourself as both vulnerable and uuuhhhh, genuine!
www.tv4.se
The host asked the psychologist whether the problem of finding someone is harder for men or for women. The answer was probably the most fucked-up thing I heard. Let me quote exactly the dialogue.
"I believe it often manifests in different ways among men and women. Afterall we are all individuals so we have to take this into consideration, but this is a phenomenon that is more usual in bigger cities, more usual among women, especially women that are in the middle of their career.
The host: "And why do you believe that it is like this?"
The psycho: "We have never had access to more potential partners like now, but it also means that we think a little wrong when we are finding partners. One of the things we do wrong is that we try to become as attractive as possible in order to look perfect so that others can like you. The more you do this, the less genuine you become. You distance yourself from a potential partner. This is often the case when you get a couple of No which I believe is best decribed here. If you are the least empathetic it is very hard when someone doesn't select you which will lead you to put an image of yourself looking more good.
Host: "So how should we think? You talk about being genuine as a key word."
Psycho: "Well, if you are going to be clear, you have to differentiate between looking for someone just to have fun with, but if you are looking for a genuine relationship, the advice is to stop trying to make yourself more attractive as possible, because you make yourself attractive to attract as many as possible, but you only need one! It is more important to meet the right one instead of meeting many. And in order to do that you have to introduce an image of yourself as both vulnerable and uuuhhhh, genuine!
Psykologen: Fler har svårt att hitta kärleken
Fler har svårt att hitta kärleken – tuffast för karriärkvinnor i storstäder
www.tv4.se
