Deleted member 35511
Self-banned
-
- Joined
- Jul 12, 2021
- Posts
- 24
Commiting suicide and inflicting pain onto myself is the only thing I ever yearn for in my life. I have no other motivations or goals. My life is horrible, I have no friends, no girlfriend, no job, no highschool diploma, and I've gone days without eating and no one's noticed.
I'm completely useless, both to myself, and to the very few people in my life. Everyday I want to kill myself more and more, but I can never bring myself to do it. I'm even a failure at that. I have no place in this world other than that of suffering and pain.
I feel like I'm in a prison, and the only way out is by blasting a bullet in my brain, slitting my throat, letting a giant trucks speeding wheel run over my head, poisoning myself, etc.
I don't just want to kill myself, I have a burning desire to kill myself. Sometimes I go hours thinking about the most viable ways to do it. I'm nearly obsessed with the prospect of taking my own life.
Nothing else brings me more joy than inflicting pain onto my body, either by starvation, cutting, or any other method I can come up with. I believe this masochistic behavior I've developed is a product of my deep seated desire to end my life, as if my wanting to kill myself is manifesting itself in the form of self mutilation, until the day when the act of me producing pain onto my body will evolve into me actually commiting suicide, and I believe that day may be coming soon.
I'm completely useless, both to myself, and to the very few people in my life. Everyday I want to kill myself more and more, but I can never bring myself to do it. I'm even a failure at that. I have no place in this world other than that of suffering and pain.
I feel like I'm in a prison, and the only way out is by blasting a bullet in my brain, slitting my throat, letting a giant trucks speeding wheel run over my head, poisoning myself, etc.
I don't just want to kill myself, I have a burning desire to kill myself. Sometimes I go hours thinking about the most viable ways to do it. I'm nearly obsessed with the prospect of taking my own life.
Nothing else brings me more joy than inflicting pain onto my body, either by starvation, cutting, or any other method I can come up with. I believe this masochistic behavior I've developed is a product of my deep seated desire to end my life, as if my wanting to kill myself is manifesting itself in the form of self mutilation, until the day when the act of me producing pain onto my body will evolve into me actually commiting suicide, and I believe that day may be coming soon.