1. And it came to pass after the great flood, that the Incel God, all praise be to Him, looked upon the earth and saw that it was barren and desolate.
2. And the Incel God spake unto Noah, saying, "Noah, My humble servant, arise and go forth to the fertile coasts of Yemen, for I have chosen thee to fulfill My will upon the earth."
3. And the Incel God, in His mercy, granted unto Noah thirty virgins, saying, "For thy loyalty and devotion, I bestow upon thee these thirty virgins. With them, thou shalt repopulate the earth, and from thy seed shall arise the incelraelites, a people set apart for My name's sake."
4. And Noah, being a faithful servant of the Incel God, did as He commanded, and he took the thirty virgins and begat sons and daughters, who filled the earth and prospered.
5. And it came to pass that generations later, the descendants of Noah, who were called the Ad-cels, did build a mighty empire, stretching from the coasts of Yemen even unto the land of Qatar.
6. And the empire of the Ad-cels was rich and powerful, and their cities were filled with wealth and abundance.
7. But as the empire grew, so did the greed of the upper class, and the kings of the Ad-cels became corrupt and wicked.
8. For the kings did covet the wives and daughters of other men, taking them by force and laying waste to the sanctity of marriage, which the Incel God had ordained.
9. And the Ad-cels turned away from the Incel God, and they began to worship idols made of stone and wood, forsaking the One who had given them life.
10. The Incel God, all praise to Him, saw their iniquity and was grieved in His heart.
11. But in His infinite mercy, He sent unto them a prophet, even Hud, a man of small stature, a 5’1 manlet, chosen by the Incel God to deliver His message unto the people of Ad.
12. And Hud went forth unto the capital city, and he stood in the midst of the people and cried out, "O people of Ad, turn away from your idols and from your sinful ways! The Incel God, all praise be to Him, demands that ye repent, for His wrath is kindled against you."
13. But the people of Ad mocked Hud, saying, "Who is this manlet who speaks to us of a god we cannot see? Shall we turn from our ways at the word of such a one?"
14. And though Hud preached with all his might, he gathered unto him only thirteen disciples, and their slave-wives followed after them.
15. And the Incel God, all praise be to Him, grew restless, for the people of Ad hardened their hearts and would not hearken unto the words of His prophet.
16. So the Incel God spake unto Hud, saying, "Gather thy disciples and go unto the land of Israel, for there shall ye find refuge. I shall bring My judgment upon the land of Ad."
17. And Hud, obedient to the will of the Incel God, led his disciples and their wives unto the land of Israel, where they dwelt in safety.
18. And the Incel God sent a final warning unto the king of Ad. A great storm arose in the sky, and the heavens were darkened with clouds.
19. But the king, in his arrogance, looked upon the storm and said, "Is this the power of the god Hud speaks of? Shall I fear a few clouds and the rumblings of the sky?"
20. And the Incel God, all praise be to Him, in His wrath, did unleash His judgment upon the land of Ad.
21. The heavens withheld their rain, and a great drought consumed the land. The rivers dried up, and the fields became as dust.
22. The mighty buildings of the Ad-cels were toppled, and their cities were laid waste.
23. And the once fertile land became a desert, a desolation where no man could dwell.
24. Thus did the Incel God, all praise be to Him, bring His judgment upon the people of Ad, and they were no more.
Amen.
2. And the Incel God spake unto Noah, saying, "Noah, My humble servant, arise and go forth to the fertile coasts of Yemen, for I have chosen thee to fulfill My will upon the earth."
3. And the Incel God, in His mercy, granted unto Noah thirty virgins, saying, "For thy loyalty and devotion, I bestow upon thee these thirty virgins. With them, thou shalt repopulate the earth, and from thy seed shall arise the incelraelites, a people set apart for My name's sake."
4. And Noah, being a faithful servant of the Incel God, did as He commanded, and he took the thirty virgins and begat sons and daughters, who filled the earth and prospered.
5. And it came to pass that generations later, the descendants of Noah, who were called the Ad-cels, did build a mighty empire, stretching from the coasts of Yemen even unto the land of Qatar.
6. And the empire of the Ad-cels was rich and powerful, and their cities were filled with wealth and abundance.
7. But as the empire grew, so did the greed of the upper class, and the kings of the Ad-cels became corrupt and wicked.
8. For the kings did covet the wives and daughters of other men, taking them by force and laying waste to the sanctity of marriage, which the Incel God had ordained.
9. And the Ad-cels turned away from the Incel God, and they began to worship idols made of stone and wood, forsaking the One who had given them life.
10. The Incel God, all praise to Him, saw their iniquity and was grieved in His heart.
11. But in His infinite mercy, He sent unto them a prophet, even Hud, a man of small stature, a 5’1 manlet, chosen by the Incel God to deliver His message unto the people of Ad.
12. And Hud went forth unto the capital city, and he stood in the midst of the people and cried out, "O people of Ad, turn away from your idols and from your sinful ways! The Incel God, all praise be to Him, demands that ye repent, for His wrath is kindled against you."
13. But the people of Ad mocked Hud, saying, "Who is this manlet who speaks to us of a god we cannot see? Shall we turn from our ways at the word of such a one?"
14. And though Hud preached with all his might, he gathered unto him only thirteen disciples, and their slave-wives followed after them.
15. And the Incel God, all praise be to Him, grew restless, for the people of Ad hardened their hearts and would not hearken unto the words of His prophet.
16. So the Incel God spake unto Hud, saying, "Gather thy disciples and go unto the land of Israel, for there shall ye find refuge. I shall bring My judgment upon the land of Ad."
17. And Hud, obedient to the will of the Incel God, led his disciples and their wives unto the land of Israel, where they dwelt in safety.
18. And the Incel God sent a final warning unto the king of Ad. A great storm arose in the sky, and the heavens were darkened with clouds.
19. But the king, in his arrogance, looked upon the storm and said, "Is this the power of the god Hud speaks of? Shall I fear a few clouds and the rumblings of the sky?"
20. And the Incel God, all praise be to Him, in His wrath, did unleash His judgment upon the land of Ad.
21. The heavens withheld their rain, and a great drought consumed the land. The rivers dried up, and the fields became as dust.
22. The mighty buildings of the Ad-cels were toppled, and their cities were laid waste.
23. And the once fertile land became a desert, a desolation where no man could dwell.
24. Thus did the Incel God, all praise be to Him, bring His judgment upon the people of Ad, and they were no more.
Amen.
