J
Someone I knew, who’s around 6’1 (not taller because his posture is fucked) has posted online about feeling undeserving of his height. He calls himself volcel he thinks it’s unfair that shorter men struggle more with dating. I got his Instagram and called him. I told him he was wasting his potential by not making the most of what he has. He told me he is grateful for his height, but he still feels like he doesnt deserve it because so many guys who are shorter than him would appreciate it more.
Even though he doesnt put much effort into dating anymore (he doesnt date and hasn’t ever dated period but he is hopeful he get guts someday), he said that if he had a better personality and face (his words: if he wasnt so hesitant and self-conscious), he’d be seen as more masculine. In some ways, I believe him as he has a self-sabotaging mindset. But I couldn’t help but think, how does someone with an advantage become so mentally stuck?
He struggles with body dysmorphia, because he sees himself as short even though his mum says he’s above average. The issue is that the people who picked on him in the past were mostly bigger guys and smaller guys who were very smart and masculine who made sure he was small. They treated him as if he didn’t measure up, and that stuck with him. Some women even joked, Oh, you’re not tall anymore,which only reinforced it. Mainly his teachers.
Now, he thinks shorter guys deserve his height more than he does. He’s convinced himself that he shouldn’t pursue relationships or self-improvement because, in his mind, if he ever did date (which I doubt, given his mindset), he’d be taking an opportunity away from someone else. I couldn’t help but laugh at the end of our call, but I also felt sorry for him. He’s completely stuck in his own head.
He mentioned that people both guys and girls have assumed he’s gay for most of his life and that he feels like an omega puppy, someone useless and self-defeating. He admits he’s done this to himself, holding himself back due to self-doubt and resentment. Honestly, I get tired of hearing these complaints, but what can you even say to someone like that?
Even though he doesnt put much effort into dating anymore (he doesnt date and hasn’t ever dated period but he is hopeful he get guts someday), he said that if he had a better personality and face (his words: if he wasnt so hesitant and self-conscious), he’d be seen as more masculine. In some ways, I believe him as he has a self-sabotaging mindset. But I couldn’t help but think, how does someone with an advantage become so mentally stuck?
He struggles with body dysmorphia, because he sees himself as short even though his mum says he’s above average. The issue is that the people who picked on him in the past were mostly bigger guys and smaller guys who were very smart and masculine who made sure he was small. They treated him as if he didn’t measure up, and that stuck with him. Some women even joked, Oh, you’re not tall anymore,which only reinforced it. Mainly his teachers.
Now, he thinks shorter guys deserve his height more than he does. He’s convinced himself that he shouldn’t pursue relationships or self-improvement because, in his mind, if he ever did date (which I doubt, given his mindset), he’d be taking an opportunity away from someone else. I couldn’t help but laugh at the end of our call, but I also felt sorry for him. He’s completely stuck in his own head.
He mentioned that people both guys and girls have assumed he’s gay for most of his life and that he feels like an omega puppy, someone useless and self-defeating. He admits he’s done this to himself, holding himself back due to self-doubt and resentment. Honestly, I get tired of hearing these complaints, but what can you even say to someone like that?
