At least twice a week, on the nights before my day off from work, I couple THC, alcohol, and other prescribed goodies and just walk around the first floor of my house, listening to sad loneliness themed music with lyrics I find the most relatable to in terms of being so lonely it hurts. More often than not, once the combo of all three become a bit too much, I simply sit at my computer desk, play the old classic that is Freebird on my computer at max volume, and simply stare at the bottle of cheap wine I'm about half way done with, then stare at that my scrips, then stare at the bottle, then stare at those scrips, and back, and forth, and legit wonder if there's even a fucking point. At one point or another, my cats always sense when I feel like not wanting to be alive and always show me enough love to snap me out of it and I just end up crying myself to sleep secretly hoping that maybe I might not wake up the next day only to wake up feeling like hammered dogshit wondering how much longer I can keep this routine up before it finally puts me out of my everloving motherfucking pointless existence. Never told anyone about this before, but I feel comfortable being able to say it here, so I am. Thank you for listening.
