I've tried meeting people at social events, I've tried the gym, I've tried the clubs, the bars, even PUA.
All of it for nothing. The only regret I have in my life is not rotting MORE than what I already have. I was so fucking stupid to think that I was ever going to change my situation.
And now I'm at a point where I've even become a militant rotter. Rotting is like my religion, it's almost like a sacred art. I finally get the meaning of life now, and the purpose of the universe. The purpose is simply to lay down and rot away, die in complete obscurity leaving nothing behind, no legacy, no children, NOTHING.
Bluepillers and Neitszche-types will tell you that rotting is "cowardice", that it's "shameful" and "degenerate".
The honest truth is that rotting to death is the bravest and noblest thing a person can do in his/her life, why? Because it goes entirely against the deepest core of your nature. Deep down you don't actually want to LDAR, you want to find a cute foid to creampie and have kids with, creating more entropy and death as a result, starting the ouroborical cycle yet again.
But something else within you tells you "enough of this madness", life, existence, if our senses really are giving us an objective representation of it, really is one, sick, boring, piece of shit joke.
As much as I admire optimalistic philosophy like that of Leibniz, and try to apply it to my every-day life, I can't help but feel like at the end of the day, it's just wishful thinking.
Ultimately, I think the ultra pessimistic philosophy of Schopenhauer is what wins the heart and the minds of the smartest, bravest, noblest of beings such as myself.
Therefore, it is my conclusion that what I'm doing, rotting away into obscurity, is simply the last stage of perfection that my soul has to go through. Accepting its (seeming?) annihilation with the body, completely destroying any potential harm/suffering/death to any life that my body might have created if it were to have found a suitable partner.
My mechanical body has simply no choice but to follow the divine command of my soul, and my soul itself programed in its willing by potentially God himself.
This, you could interpret as GOD HIMSELF realizing that existence itself is a giant failure of his own making, and that he should've kept it completely un-manifested.
This phenomenon, seen in the few people brave enough to accept this ultimate and potentially universal philosophy, is called in the deep, esoteric teachings... as GOD'S EGO DEATH.
-St. Martyros
All of it for nothing. The only regret I have in my life is not rotting MORE than what I already have. I was so fucking stupid to think that I was ever going to change my situation.
And now I'm at a point where I've even become a militant rotter. Rotting is like my religion, it's almost like a sacred art. I finally get the meaning of life now, and the purpose of the universe. The purpose is simply to lay down and rot away, die in complete obscurity leaving nothing behind, no legacy, no children, NOTHING.
Bluepillers and Neitszche-types will tell you that rotting is "cowardice", that it's "shameful" and "degenerate".
The honest truth is that rotting to death is the bravest and noblest thing a person can do in his/her life, why? Because it goes entirely against the deepest core of your nature. Deep down you don't actually want to LDAR, you want to find a cute foid to creampie and have kids with, creating more entropy and death as a result, starting the ouroborical cycle yet again.
But something else within you tells you "enough of this madness", life, existence, if our senses really are giving us an objective representation of it, really is one, sick, boring, piece of shit joke.
As much as I admire optimalistic philosophy like that of Leibniz, and try to apply it to my every-day life, I can't help but feel like at the end of the day, it's just wishful thinking.
Ultimately, I think the ultra pessimistic philosophy of Schopenhauer is what wins the heart and the minds of the smartest, bravest, noblest of beings such as myself.
Therefore, it is my conclusion that what I'm doing, rotting away into obscurity, is simply the last stage of perfection that my soul has to go through. Accepting its (seeming?) annihilation with the body, completely destroying any potential harm/suffering/death to any life that my body might have created if it were to have found a suitable partner.
My mechanical body has simply no choice but to follow the divine command of my soul, and my soul itself programed in its willing by potentially God himself.
This, you could interpret as GOD HIMSELF realizing that existence itself is a giant failure of his own making, and that he should've kept it completely un-manifested.
This phenomenon, seen in the few people brave enough to accept this ultimate and potentially universal philosophy, is called in the deep, esoteric teachings... as GOD'S EGO DEATH.
-St. Martyros
