Saw it for the 5th time today and it was just depressing, I felt like garbage the whole afternoon. Each time I have rewatched it, it was a matter of carefully balancing his suffering at the beginning (which I can't help but sympathise with him strongly over because I am a bitch) and his retribution for suffering at the end (which is lifefuel to vicariously experience for an hour). However when I went to see it this time the end of the movie failed to make up for what he was put through. I feel like I had already wrung lot of enjoyment out of the scenes where he goes off on Murray and Randall because with the end of the movie especially basically being burned into my brain, the element of excitement is gone, although to an extent the subway scene (which has an exhilarating buildup) and the pillow scene (which resonates with me personally) are still mostly as enjoyable as they were at first. However I'm not sure if it's the original enjoyment wearing out or if I was just feeling flat from walking 10+ kilometres in the hot midday prior to seeing it. Will I ruin the film for myself if I keep watching it? Do I need to find another cope?
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