I left a few weeks ago cause I didn’t agree with the direction the website was going to. This is now an issue I no longer care about. I probably can’t say much about this matter here cause it is heavily censored here (at least it was when I was last here).
So what has been up with me in the meantime?
Some of you might recall I was talking about meeting a foid in Perth. I haven’t said anything previously cause I was a bit embarrassed but long story short I went to Perth and the foid did not meet me so I was walking around the city by myself for 4 days, averaged probably 40k steps a day.
Meanwhile back home I joined an Australian incel discord server to fill the void of leaving here. The server had incels who were a lot younger than me, more reasonable sex having males, blue pilled sex having males and even a few foids.
So at first it was going quite well on the server. On the internet I am not naturally a lurker, I always have to participate in discussion so there was some good discussion and as a result I was probably one of the more active and charismatic users on there.
I did not realise it then but I see it now, my participation on that server was slowly killing me. The spotlight was almost always on me when I participated. I was by far the oldest person there and as a result I was seen as the biggest failure and loser. Couple this with the fact that I am not a manlet, my face is not deformed, I am in relatively good shape physically and I have a high income in a respectable job highlights just how much of a fuck up I actually am.
I of course always knew this at the back of my mind but it wasn’t always at the front of my mind and this discord server constantly put it at the front of mind. As a result of this I have been constantly depressed which caused me to have like 1 meal every 3 days. I probably have lost a lot of muscle from the gym and feel so weak, like the wind can carry me away.
The key reason I feel why I wasn’t as depressed here is that the attention isn’t constantly on me. I could post about other things in life, laugh at memes, make jokes with my friends here. I knew it was over but I could put that fact to the side and do other things in life like watch movies, read news articles etc. Now I can’t even do that, I feel too depressed to do anything at all.
So what I am doing now, I will no longer be active in that discord server. I will only comment when I am summoned cause I made some good friends there. My main form of internet socialisation will be back here.
A side note from my discord quest is that I met with an e-foid 1on1 but she insisted a million times that it was not a date so you could probably surmise what that means. I then met with a sex having male from the server who talked about all the foids he fucked and was going to fuck a foid right after meeting me. This then led to me having a massive meltdown when I got home.
tl;dr Discord was a bad experience and I am back here.
