M
since starting doing day+night game 2 years ago, (after spending thousands of euros on multiple bootcamps) I have done over a thousand approaches (educated guess, about 10 per week).
Results:
40 number closes (dg+ng), all flakes
4 kiss closes (night game)
1 instadate, 2 years ago
1 regular date, 2 years ago
0 f.ck closes.
I know the basics, I can bull-shit, I know what to say, I can verbally and non-verbally escalate, I can handle shit-tests, girls who actually get to know me think I'm attractive and charming and 'would date me if they would not have a boyfriend'.
Yet. Zero results.
The thing is, I often (almost always) get rejected before my 'game' even starts. I get rejected before I can say hi or deliver the opener, and I don't know what to do about it and how to stay motivated.
This is what happens:
during the day (outside, street):
the first 2 type of rejections feel really bad, the 3rd type is a regular rejection every daygamer gets, and has no negative mental impact.
- instant rejection: I see a girl, approach, she notices me, she says NO, or NOT INTERESTED or GO AWAY before I can stop her and say hi/deliver the opener. => majority of all approaches
- girl stops, I give compliment, she looks at me as if I'm some kind of murderer
- she has a boyfriend or states she is not interested in a friendly way => a minority of all approaches
- we chat and she actually gives her number ==> some approaches
during the night, clubs/bars:
I did not actually count each approach, it is an educuated guess, and also the percentages mentioned earlier are educated guesses. I am not a retard with an Excel file tracking down everything.
- I approach girl, I smile, but she immediately turns her back, I get totally ignored before I can say Hi ==> very often
- I approach girl, before I can actually say something, her girlfriends show up and tell me to fuck off or physically get pushed away ==> often
- I approach girl, I deliver opener (not cheesy, but fun opener), she asks her friend to 'save her' (non-verbally)
- I approach girl non-verbally (e.g to dance), but she looks at my hand as if I have leprosy.
- I approach girl, deliver opener, she responds well, we talk, have fun, but she has a boyfriend. => happens once a week or so
- I approach girl, we dance, I escalate, we make out within 2 minutes ==> happens sometimes
My friends/wingmen cannot relate to this. When they approach a girl, they are greeted with a big smile. They also get approach invitations/IOIs, something I never get. Or they get approached. After that, they can actually do game and get results. In my case, I almost always get rejected and therefore have no results.
I have the feeling 1000-1500 approaches and ZERO results is not okay, and honestly, it fucks me up.
I see other dudes have lot's of success and great results with way less effort.
Are there other people here who have the same story, how did you manage to stay motivated? Do you recognize the 'instant rejections' , and what did you do to lower the instant rejection rate?
Edit, based on the comments, I have added some additional information about myself (looks, social skills).
Looks: short. 5'6", but not ugly and not fat. I have been called handsome by girls (not family ;-)). On the other hand, some (ugly) girls have called me ugly. Personally I don't think I'm actually ugly. hair style: buzz cut, well maintained. I also have a short beard now, well maintained, received compliments from men and women recently. I am 35 yrs old, but often girls think I'm anywhere between 26-29 years old and are very surprised when they learn about my real age. I'm fit and relatively strong for my height/age, squatting 2.2x BW, deadlifting 2.7x BW.
Personality: analytical 'INTJ' - but the 'visible part' of my personality does not seem to play a role, since I get rejected before opening ;-). Anyway, many people who actually know me call me 'authentic'. A reference to Mark Manson's Models was made. I have read this book a few years ago, it was what motivated me to start this journey of cold approaching...
Social skills: yes, I've studied sciences, no, I'm not a geek. I run my own business (freelance consultant) where I actually have to interact with my clients a lot, my clients seem to like me on a personal level, especially women. They are surprised when they find out I'm single. One of my clients (a women, bit older) stated the would date me if she were younger and single and told me I'm attractive. Also I've done sales (consultative selling of software, not 2nd hand cars) in the past and prospective customers were happy to work with me. In other words, I don't think at all I'm a weirdo with respect to social skills.
Edit 2 : when I wrote this post, my aim was to find a clue on why I would get so many instant rejections + give examples of what instant rejection meant in practise.
The responses are like
Edit 3:
- vibe is off, improve inner game => this is probably it. Subconsiously I may even be expecting a rejection...
- looks, style, hygiene ==> see previous edit. I shall not take the comments about hygiene as an insult, but I was surprised this was mentioned.
- Read Models -> Reading Models was the beginning of all this...
- you should lift weights ==> Yes doing that for years.
- wait for IOIs before opening ==> I never/see get those, typically girl looks in the other direction immediately when eyes meet.
- comments about that I take this too seriously, etc. and that there is more in life than women. in the 33 years before I did not do anything related to game, and I had other ambitious goals (that I have reached), so it is definately not that 'getting women ' is a 'goal ' in itself. I' m running my own business, I am doing well, now is the time to do something about the lack of love. On the other hand, I realise this is the Internet and people can be harsh. Anyway, I'm used to real-life rejection now so it doesn't bother me that much
I'm going to take a break from approaching women. Receiving rejections only, without some success to make it worthwhile, only makes me feel worse, and they see/sense it. --> more rejection --> downward spiral.
cliffs manlet approaches 1,000 women and still gets rejected
