M
This is my first post so think of this as an introduction if you will.
I'm 21 and was born with Selective Mustism so I couldn't speak to people in school/around my age but only could around family. I recieved poor treatment for this illness so I went through many years being unable to speak around my peers. I had a friend that I knew since 3rd grade who didn't hear my voice until 10th grade. So many years of just sitting by myself at lunch not saying anything. It boggles my mind how no one gave a fuck about my very obvious social impairment. Most of my attention growing up was regarding my disability.
With something like this, I guess it would be no surprise that I never had a girlfriend or even been on a date before. My family growing up since I can remember has always entertained the notion of me having a GF despite this extreme social disability. My entire childhood I really thought being a mute would have no impact on my dating life. I wish girls liked anxious awkward mute guys so I would know what love feels like. I'm not even considered about sex, I have a low sex drive and mainly want to experience handholding, kissing and what it's liked to be desired by a women.
When I was 20, I complained about my lack of a dating life to my female cousin and she said that maybe someone liked me before but just didn't tell me. NO! There is no time in my life where I can look back and say "Hey, you know maybe that girl did like me." There were no signs that I missed, flirting that I didn't pick up on, none of that bullshit. Also, i'm just gonna say it but personally if you don't have any social disabilities and you don't make any kind of move, flirt or approach then you didn't like me enough. I was just eye candy to you not somebody you'd actually consider dating. Women that ACTUALLY like you WILL let you know and make moves! You think they're all timid and shit when it comes to Chad? Fuck no!
I also complained to my mom and she said that I should've written notes to these girls because at those ages, my disability wouldn't matter to them. Uhh...clearly it did fucking matter because they would've been attracted to me then!
I was never friends with girls either. They were just nice to me because they pitied me and felt bad. Whenever I would try to be REAL friends, I would get the cold shoulder. Not even the shy/introverted girls would give me the time of day.
I hate that I was born this way. I wish just one girl would've given me a chance. My teen years are gone and I'll never get the chance to experience teen love ever. Now I'm just a NEET that's depressed about his childhood. All I do during the day is sit in my bed and at night I pace around my room or flap my hands because I get upset thinking about my past. I'm so embarrassed with the way I act. Why am I like this? Why did I have to be so socially awkward? Why can't I behave and be like everyone else?
I'm 21 and was born with Selective Mustism so I couldn't speak to people in school/around my age but only could around family. I recieved poor treatment for this illness so I went through many years being unable to speak around my peers. I had a friend that I knew since 3rd grade who didn't hear my voice until 10th grade. So many years of just sitting by myself at lunch not saying anything. It boggles my mind how no one gave a fuck about my very obvious social impairment. Most of my attention growing up was regarding my disability.
With something like this, I guess it would be no surprise that I never had a girlfriend or even been on a date before. My family growing up since I can remember has always entertained the notion of me having a GF despite this extreme social disability. My entire childhood I really thought being a mute would have no impact on my dating life. I wish girls liked anxious awkward mute guys so I would know what love feels like. I'm not even considered about sex, I have a low sex drive and mainly want to experience handholding, kissing and what it's liked to be desired by a women.
When I was 20, I complained about my lack of a dating life to my female cousin and she said that maybe someone liked me before but just didn't tell me. NO! There is no time in my life where I can look back and say "Hey, you know maybe that girl did like me." There were no signs that I missed, flirting that I didn't pick up on, none of that bullshit. Also, i'm just gonna say it but personally if you don't have any social disabilities and you don't make any kind of move, flirt or approach then you didn't like me enough. I was just eye candy to you not somebody you'd actually consider dating. Women that ACTUALLY like you WILL let you know and make moves! You think they're all timid and shit when it comes to Chad? Fuck no!
I also complained to my mom and she said that I should've written notes to these girls because at those ages, my disability wouldn't matter to them. Uhh...clearly it did fucking matter because they would've been attracted to me then!
I was never friends with girls either. They were just nice to me because they pitied me and felt bad. Whenever I would try to be REAL friends, I would get the cold shoulder. Not even the shy/introverted girls would give me the time of day.
I hate that I was born this way. I wish just one girl would've given me a chance. My teen years are gone and I'll never get the chance to experience teen love ever. Now I'm just a NEET that's depressed about his childhood. All I do during the day is sit in my bed and at night I pace around my room or flap my hands because I get upset thinking about my past. I'm so embarrassed with the way I act. Why am I like this? Why did I have to be so socially awkward? Why can't I behave and be like everyone else?
