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The qualities that are more attractive than our looks
While looks might matter for first impressions, there are other qualities that win people's hearts.
www.bbc.com
The qualities that are more attractive than our looks
2 January 2024
By William Park
Features correspondent•@williamhpark
While looks might matter for first impressions, there are other qualities that win people's hearts.
Considering the attention given to appearances, and how quickly we form – and stick to – a first impression, it would be easy to assume that looks are what matter most in finding love. But, while physical attraction is coveted, it might really be what's inside that counts.
Appearance and sexiness rank middling on surveys of people's preferred characteristics, with material successes, such as financial security and owning a nice house, among the least important attractive qualities.
Instead, traits like agreeableness, extraversion and intelligence score consistently higher than physical attraction as things that men and women in same-sex and different-sex couples look for in a partner.
In surveys like this, social-desirability bias – or our tendency to give answers which we think make us look good in the eyes of others – might be skewing the results, says Greg Webster, a psychology professor at the University of Florida in the US. This might mean that self-reported surveys present slightly skewed data, but even so, people typically say they prefer qualities like intelligence to looks.
But when presented with a real-life date do we still choose personality over looks?
According to Jess Alderson, co-founder of the dating app So Syncd, which requires users to complete a psychometric test to measure personality traits, we do. Of a sample of more than 1,000 users made available to BBC Future, almost 90% preferred personality over looks.
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