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The Final Post
This is the last post I'll make on incels.is. After this I will never post here, alongsides neets.net, sanctionedsuicide.net, and even subreddits like r/ugly. This is the final post on any incel website. I was someone who was always seen as stubborn, not being able to change my mind and only doing what I believe is the right decision.
An example of this is there has been literal thousands of comments telling me to not get plastic surgery, telling me I'm not ugly. Thousands of comments with the occasional slip up "Oh looks don't matter, just how you treat people." "You should get surgery for your ears but don't change anything else" highlighting that I was indeed facially unattractive, because if I was average looking, I wouldn't need any surgery. Or "You're only ugly because you don't groom." As if that is the main reason. Despite that, I'm still going to get an otoplasty. I'm still going to get a rhinoplasty. And probably jaw surgery as well. So public embarrassment, thousands of comments, and the lecture from my literal birth mother didn't change my mind on the non-negotiable fact that I do need plastic surgery, and I will get plastic surgery.
You're not going to convince me to not abide by what I go on to explain later in this post. You won't be able to change my mind, therefore there is no reason for me to respond to any comments. I'll accept the hate. I'll get banned, and that's a one and done. This is literally, the very last post.
I'm going to first clear the air, leaving no misconceptions behind.
My Life
Since I'm already public, and I'm 100% serious about this plan. I'm ok with sharing this information as this is far from a larp.
My name is Abdoulaye Tarnagda, and I'm an 18 year old.
From 0 - 6, my life was pretty normal. I don't recall any memories from that time.
In grade 2 - 3, that's when I started to be seen as an outsider. My grade 3 teacher disliked me, whilst I wasn't a trouble maker, and I was sent to special ed classes.
When I gave candy to another kid in my class, he refused to take it because he thought it was expired. I was often given expired chips for Lunch. I was similar to another girl in my class who was ostracized and had no friends. I didn't talk much, and the other kids didn't want to play with me.
Grade 4, I had a new teacher, and I was still in Special ed classes. I recall a memory during Recess during spring, whilst there was still snow outside. There was a door outside of the building leading to the washroom. What I enjoyed doing was putting the snow over the hot door, and watching the steam. The 6th graders made fun of me.
In Grade 5, my Dad fought for me to be taken out of special ed. He went to the the principal and ranted at him of how "My son isn't going to go to special ed!"
I thought at least I had a loving family, but there was conflict in my parent's relationship happening behind the scenes. Something I wouldn't know for another 6 years.
I had stranger punishments around this time. I once took too much cereal, and was forced to eat all of it to not waste it. By the end of eating that, my stomach felt fully bloated. I don't know how I didn't vomit. I was beaten using belts and an iphone charger, which makes sense for a black family, my father originating in Burkina Faso and my mother originating in Mali. I sometimes had time outs for 8 - 9 hours.
Grade 6, I had a couple friends and I was seen as less of an outsider but that all went downhill in middle school.
Grade 7. The worst punishment of my life, was when me and my brother caused trouble in the library. I was told to take off my shirt. Do squats with my hands crossed pulling my ears. (Hey, wait a second. Maybe that's why my ears are so droopy. Those type of squats were a common punishment for me.) After 100 squats, I was told to go on my Father's bed, and he whipped me with a belt multiple times, hard. He left the room, came back, whip, left the room, came back, whip. I think it was 3 times. I had the same punishment of squats and getting whips from my Mother a couple times. I once ran down the stairs, grabbed the house phone and threatened to call the police on my Mother.
In middle school, where I'm from, kids from multiple different elementary schools in the area go to the same middle school. Despite being treated like an outsider in grade 2- 3 to 5, in grade 6, I was treated like a human at least, so I had an inclination towards kids from my own school.
In Grade 7, my binder was thrown into a urinal. I once was walking up the stairs as a class, and the popular kid who picked on me said to a girl "Abdoulaye is [Girlname]'s boyfriend" then she said "Ewwww!!" I was isolated and had little friends because I couldn't warm up to the kids at that middle school from other elementary schools.
I developed extreme social anxiety, and probably other mental issues too. In grade 7 and 8, I would stay in the school bathroom during lunch (something I would enjoy doing in high school.) and for fun, I would watch stickman gaming videos, pokemon, naruto on my iphone, and before I got an iphone I would play with the toilet paper.
I would sometimes chew it. I had pica, which is maybe why my teeth are fucked. I would chew on toilet paper, I would chew on plastic water bottom lids. I liked playing with my saliva.
I would play with the toilet paper, by taking 2 pieces of toilet paper, and basically making them fight each other until one got ripped (died.) I created ultimates, like a toilet paper could summon a hand to use "claw", to use "rasengan", I would get 2 pieces of toilet paper, swish them in my mouth and make a ball. For the whole lunch I was having those toilet paper imaginary battles and I can't even lie, it was fun as fuck. I genuinely enjoyed doing that more than I enjoyed using my phone at the time.
I also would spit on ants on the sidewalk to see what would happen.
My social skills obviously got heavily stunted. Being bullied, staying inside the middle school bathroom for my lunches, having little friends were all factors which played a role.
What helped me with my despair during those days was Naruto. I watched Naruto in my childhood, and I was introduced to it at 9. I completed Naruto and Naruto Shippuden and Rock Lee, Naruto, Sasuke, that was my cope. I literally included Naruto in some of my school projects. I would read the manga volumes when I was at the Library. I would play the Naruto Online mmorpg after school. Naruto in general was my biggest cope.
Grade 8 finished. Covid. Grade 9 online. Grade 9 was the start of high school.
I got addicted to Quora. I argued with a woman there when I was a 14 year old and she made fun of my nose in the argument, saying "Your nose is so big." with 3 laughing emojis beside it. She made fun of me, saying I was mentally ill, and I cried but moved on. Forgetting about that moment completely, months later.
For some fucking reason, I was actually good at high school. I was a C student in middle school. I was an A student in high school. Grade inflation from covid played a role, but in grade 9, I was getting high 90's. Through actually being good at 1 thing for the first time in my life, I obsessed about my grades. It was what I gave a shit about. Trying to get good grades alongsides watching Naruto in my childhood gave me motivation to live. It was in person in grade 10, and I was still getting good grades, I wasn't getting bullied, but I felt extreme loneliness because the high school I went to was in a completely different area, so I knew no one there from middle school or elementary school so it was a new environment. Eating lunch alone whilst watching others eat lunch whilst having fun is suifuel. I also got into Attack On Titan which was lifefuel because I was a big fan of Eren Yeager. Despite how dumb this sounds, Eren Yeager inspired me to keep living and get good grades even when I didn't want to study.
From my stunted social skills from doing my toilet paper battles and staying inside the school bathroom during lunches, not talking to people, etc. I focused on grades and I was isolated.
That isolation led to extreme depression in grade 11, so I wanted to fix that. Red pill arc.
Andrew Tate was popping off in 2023, so was Hamza Ahmed. I loved it. I was the biggest fan of Hamza Ahmed. I literally was a 17 year old at the time, and I cried watching Hamza cry in his video where he basically opened up about his experiences being bullied in school, trauma, etc. I had a will. It was my hope to live, beyond the Naruto moments and speeches I used to watch when I was in my despair. I thought self improvement and the redpill would save me.
Separation begins. My family life becomes hell. Infighting everywhere. My little sister is running away (literally, I had to catch her a couple times because she would pack her bag and leave), Mom's calling the cops on my Dad 5 times, I was prepared to throw hands with my own Dad one time. Court happens, 1 week, 1 week. So me and my siblings go to my Dad's for 1 week, then we go to my Mom's for 1 week.
At my Dad's, my sister ran away a couple times, my brother and older younger sister got into fights with my Dad often.
I can't go on to mention anything else pertaining to my family, because a lot worse happened, but I don't want legal problems for anyone.
I started posting on r/getdisciplined with my Hamza knowledge. I posted my plans and goals, and I got made fun the fuck of. That started getting obsessive. Self improvement was the only thing on my mind. I started quitting music. I tried to tear off anime from myself which made me cry sometimes because I loved it so much. I had extreme self hate. I had panic attacks. Waking up at 3 am and just opening my computer to start working out of stress. Doing things like polyphasic sleep. Self harm. I would punch my knee so hard it would bruise. Punching myself in the face and ribs. I honestly don't know how I didn't go insane. I was obviously crazy, but I lived through it. I would sometimes grab a kitchen knife to my throat, look into the mirror, and contemplate if I should try to slit my throat.
Back to the school bathroom in grade 12, I once locked the door because it was a single bathroom, lights off, then started fucking screaming. Crying, screaming, punching myself. Full on breakdown. I open up reddit to see the comments under my post on r/getdisciplined. Laughter, mockery.
That scene in the school bathroom in 12th grade summarizes my life. My leg is bruised from my punches. The lights are off, I'm in a school bathroom, and I'm sniffling. I go on reddit, and people are laughing under my self improvement post. Laughter in my extreme hell.
Later half of grade 12. I somehow continued self improvement. Continued trying to get good grades. I have a sleeper build, It look like I don't work out, but I have a good physique. Tried making friends. I made 2 friends irl in the last month of high school. High school ended, lost contact of them.
We only became friends because we worked on a group project together and I did most of the world because I was obsessed with school. We of course didn't hang out, but we talked on discord a couple times.
I go on the Monkey app (an omegle clone) in May, a couple weeks before I've joined this site. I get laughed at. I didn't expect that. I didn't realize I was ugly. How can I be ugly? I've been through so much. I've been through my parent's separation. I've been through isolation, mockery, bullying. But I follow Andrew Tate? But I follow Hamza? W-wha-what? How? My world is crashing down.
Here are some of the things people have told me on the monkey.app a few weeks before I joined here in May.
I ask a girl why she's laughing at me, she replies "Because you're fucking ugly' with a laugh then she skips.
"Ugly ass nigga" says a black man in a car.
"Stop looking at me like that, you're not handsome little nigga." says a different black man.
"Phft!!!" says a woman who skips.
"I'm not even going to say anything." says an indian man who skips.
"You're ugly." said an overweight women.
"Monkey."
"Your ears can hear each other."
A girl laughing then saying "Sorry, your nose is just so big", whilst she continues to laugh, then she skips.
I'm not even making that shit up.
I go on r/ugly, talk to some people there. One of the mods was a black man who I had a good conversation with. I went on looksmax.org because Hamza talked about looksmaxxing. I researched cosmetic surgery, I researched the blackpill. I basically wanted to fix my situation.
I decided to join here. I could empathise with you. I saw how you were marginalized. You had right wing views socially, which I liked, and you were guys who were unattractive like I was. I thought I could connect with some people here. I did. I enjoyed talking to people here. You were the few that understood me. I wasn't fully blackpilled at the time, but I did vent a lot and cope with jokes.
That was in May.
In june, I had a couple hundred posts. I did my exams, I didn't do terribly on them despite my poor mental health, graduated high school. It was done.
Summer break. I thought I would grow my youtube channel, learn coding, get in shape, do looksmaxxing.
I thought despite my hell, things were going to be ok.
July.
While I was banned on incels.is for making an immature joke, I decided to check out other communities. I wasn't suicidal despite being in despair, I checked out Sanctionedsuicide.net out of curiousity, neets.net, and I went in a server that would change the course of my life.
I went inside the fitxfearless discord server. I was ignorant, naive and stupid. I debated some of the members there about plastic surgery, cosmetic surgery, then I joined a live call with the owner, Fitxfearless, asking for his opinion. Asking him whether I would be a good candidate for cosmetic plastic surgery. (I lied about my age both times, to join here, and to join that call, I was 17 at the time of the call.)
I embarrassed myself, I got publically humiliated, and the video went viral. I turned 18 a couple weeks ago.
I had innocent intents and to this day, I'm still going to get a rhinoplasty and otoplasty, so it didn't even do anything but allow myself to be brutally humiliated. Shit didn't even change my mind.
It's August now.
I no longer feel sad, but rage.
You basically know my life now, so I'm going to move on to the core actual focus of this post.
I hate society.
I feel rage and hate. I hate society and the world. I hate the fact that I was bullied in school. I hate the fact that when I made self improvement posts on reddit, they were mocked. I hate myself as a person. I hate my position. I hate that I was mocked and publicly humiliated for my genuine question. Hell, I contacted the fucking suicide helpline because I hated my ugliness so much I was fucking suicidal about it. And for the world to mock that, I fucking hate. I hate being black and being seen as an inferior race. I hate being an inferior race. I thought trying to act more white would help, but it brought only fucking more mockery. I hate how everything is run. I hate this fucking website. I hate how inceldom is even a thing. I hate that in middle school, I was fucking chewing on toilet paper during lunches. I hate that I was isolated in high school.
I go on the fucking comments of the video 5 minutes ago. They're still fucking laughing. They're still calling me fucking pathetic and making fun of me. In elementary school, in middle school, online, real life, recently, I've been mocked for my entire fucking life.
Fuck this world. Fuck this society. It's pure garbage.
Dark Virtue
This section will get me involuntarily banned.
This is my fucking life goal. The goal I'll have until I die.
How things will turn out is I'll write this last section. I'll post it. I'll get hate and backlash. Maybe I'll get called a traitor. Maybe I'll be called a cuck or fag. The few comments not giving me backlash will tell me how it's impossible or unrealistic. It will hurt my feelings a bit (or a lot because I'm naturally a sensitive person), but I have to deal with it anyways.
I'll then be banned. Beyond that, there's a specific reason why I won't use this site any longer. It doesn't aid my intentions. Venting, complaining or rotting isn't what I want to do. It would only enrage me further.
My life goal is (1st aspect) to go from loser to winner, and (2nd aspect) to have any loser who doesn't want to be a loser, have the chance to be a winner.
That's putting it in its most simple form. Dark Virtue is seeking virtue (success) despite the dark (pain, suffering, despair). That's where the name came from.
I'll ascend, even if it takes years, and I'll make it so any truecel who wants to ascend, can ascend.
No one else has that goal. With the current trajectory, incels are just going to rot, then die. No one cares about incels. No one cares about losers or the marginalized in society.
If no one else has that goal, why can't I? If no one else is going to try to change that, why can't I?
I haven't smiled, laughed, or joked around fucking once in the last few days. Because I have burning rage and desire.
I'm not going to be like the nice guy who is easily manipulated anymore. I consider myself to be a serious person now.
For one I'm not hiding. If I was hiding, I wouldn't use my real name on the internet. Abdoulaye. That's the name i used for my youtube channel, tiktok, and instagram. I made a youtube video titled "I Hate Society" which got 2.4k views. My most popular tiktok got 5k views. I'm going to go on the fitx call again 6 - 8 months in the future. I'm not hiding for shit. I refuse to lose.
What is my plan to ascend as a truecel? What is the first aspect of what I call Dark Virtue? (I know that may sound cringe but it won't be in 10 years when it works.)
I'm going to seriousmax. If I'm going to get mocked, it's better to be mocked for being too serious and aggressive, then to be mocked for being too goofy and kind. I'm ok with being labeled as a cringy wannabe edgelord. That's better than being seen as a nice guy. I'll be serious and aggressive. If someone punches me, I'll punch them back, even if I get bloody knocked out. That's changing my personality in response to what I saw doesn't work. Smiling, letting people walk over me, being nice, there's no point in any of that. I'll be completely different in just one month. With sheer will, I will go from nice guy to aggressive and serious.
I'm going to back up my aggressiveness and serious with gymmaxxing and boxingmaxxing. Then in 5 years, people will be intimidated by me for real. That solves the problem of being a wimp, nonNT.
I'm going to social skills max to become a good speaker.
With just those 3 things, that solves the problem of being nonNT. If I learn how to speak well, I pack on muscle, and I act serious and slightly aggressive. That's the best alternative. If the problem was I was a wimp, I won't be a wimp. I can't be a wimp if I'm jacked and aggressive. That's an oxymoron.
I'm going to moneymax to afford the things I need, gym membership, cosmetic surgery, etc. I'm going to go to University for Computer Science, so I was going to learn software development but I'll have to probably find something else to actually moneymax. Moneymaxxing will be harder with my reputation, but I'll find a way somehow.
I'll fully softmax. Fix my acne, get a good haircut, alongside hardmaxxing, fix my teeth, nose, and ears.
I'm ugly, 5'6 and nonNT but I can ascend if I:
- Softmax
- Hardmax
- Intimidationmax
- Seriousmax
- Agressivenessmax
- Martialartsmax
- Gymmax
- Socialskillsmax
Because in 10 years after doing all of that, I'll look better, be more socially competent, I won't have a wimpy nice guy personality and I'll be a serious slightly agressive person with 'edge' that's not too much, I think I could ascend after doing all of that.
And if that fails, I'll make a new plan. My favourite anime character is Sasuke Uchiha, and I want to be like Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke Uchiha would never give up so I'm never going to rot. I'm going to keep trying to find a way to ascend. I'm inspired by @Jason Voorhees , Adolf Hitler, Sasuke Uchiha, and the redpill content I watched before.
So far there's 2 incels I speak to who are doing dark virtue. I won't mention them, but one of them is eating clean and the other one is studymaxxing. Maybe in 10 years, they'll ascend.
The way to solve a problem is a reversal of a problem. If you're ugly, you can get facial surgery to be less ugly. If you're short, you can get limb lengthening surgery to become more tall.
If you're nonNT, there's ways to act more NT. If you're Indian, there's ways to whiten your skin to make your skin look more white, and you can hardmax on top of that to adapt to the skin whitening. Plastic surgery works well for asian people, because the surgical procedures are feminizing, so you'll look better after hardmaxxing.
"But if I get cosmetic surgery, my kid will inherit my genetic features."
Your kid can get cosmetic surgery too. If it worked for you, it will work for your kid.
I have the goal of solving inceldom because no one else has that goal. If no one else is going to try to do it, I will.
I'm not going to moralize anymore, and I'll leave for good.
Right now, I'm hated by all. The bluepill hates me because they think cosmetic surgery is against the subjective beauty standard, body positivity, etc.
The redpill hates me because they don't want you to talk about societal issues, and claiming that society is unfair is being ungrateful to your race or some bullshit. Everything is your fault according to the redpillers.
And the blackpill/you guys hate me, because I'm delusional. You want to rot and don't want to try to solve inceldom. You think I'm an idiot who will brutally fail, who won't ascend and who'll change nothing. That's a rational belief, and I'm delusional, but I'll do it anyways if I try hard enough somehow.
All of the sides hate me. I agree with the blackpill in which luck and genetics is what is the leading factor in one's life but I want to do whatever I can to change that. I've made it my life goal to find a way to make myself and truecels ascend because no one else has that goal. No one is coming to save incels. I'm going to try to take that role despite not being able to even save myself. I'll find a way. I'll do whatever I can to try to complete what is now my life goal. I've taken a role no one else has tried to take because no one cares about incels or solving inceldom. The bluepillers tell you idealistic fairy tales "just be a nice person", the redpill tells you to "Leave your loser friends behind", the blackpill says "Give up. It's over. Don't try." I hate all of those fucking options. It's not about being a nice person, losers shouldn't be left behind and I don't want to give up. I hate all of the options.
TLDR: I'm sub5 facially, nonNT, 5'6, with a reputation of being humiliated over the entire internet. I was bullied in middle school, isolated in high school, and have experienced parental separation, life as the son of a single mother, suicidal thoughts, mockery on a widescale level, self harm, etc.
It's been bad and I have it bad. I hate society and I want to change it. I want to solve inceldom for myself and others. I believe I can if I try to. That's my one and unchangeable life goal.
I would rather try to achieve that goal, and fail, then to rot and wait for death.
There's nothing else to say. I'll accept the consequences of this.
Ban me Moderators.
@Uggo Mongo @proudweeb
I broke the rules. I accept the consequences. I accept the hate. And I accept the fact I'll be banned.
Because I'm still a scaredy cat pussy, I'll quickly log out for a week and only check the replies to this post when I feel ready to. I won't respond to any replies because this is the last post, not that I can, because I'll be banned, but I'm dreading the responses already.
I basically want to take a position no one else is taking and attempt to solve inceldom. No one else is trying to solve inceldom, so I'll take that position.
I'll look at the responses to this post and the comments on my profile in a week. By then I'll be banned.
I think that's everything. The name of this overarching plan is Dark Virtue. So my life goal is Dark Virtue, meaning my life goal is to become a successful person and find a way to make any loser or incel who wants to become successful, become successful.
I'll find a way to ascend and I'll find a way to make truecels ascend. That is my life goal.
I'm definitely hated now. Probably going to be told some shit. I'm scared out of my mind. I can't read that shit today. Fuck a week, I need to delete my browser history and not even check for a month.
Fuck, I'm posting now.
I'll hit post and log out and delete my history as fast as fucking possible.
The Final Post
This is the last post I'll make on incels.is. After this I will never post here, alongsides neets.net, sanctionedsuicide.net, and even subreddits like r/ugly. This is the final post on any incel website. I was someone who was always seen as stubborn, not being able to change my mind and only doing what I believe is the right decision.
An example of this is there has been literal thousands of comments telling me to not get plastic surgery, telling me I'm not ugly. Thousands of comments with the occasional slip up "Oh looks don't matter, just how you treat people." "You should get surgery for your ears but don't change anything else" highlighting that I was indeed facially unattractive, because if I was average looking, I wouldn't need any surgery. Or "You're only ugly because you don't groom." As if that is the main reason. Despite that, I'm still going to get an otoplasty. I'm still going to get a rhinoplasty. And probably jaw surgery as well. So public embarrassment, thousands of comments, and the lecture from my literal birth mother didn't change my mind on the non-negotiable fact that I do need plastic surgery, and I will get plastic surgery.
You're not going to convince me to not abide by what I go on to explain later in this post. You won't be able to change my mind, therefore there is no reason for me to respond to any comments. I'll accept the hate. I'll get banned, and that's a one and done. This is literally, the very last post.
I'm going to first clear the air, leaving no misconceptions behind.
My Life
Since I'm already public, and I'm 100% serious about this plan. I'm ok with sharing this information as this is far from a larp.
My name is Abdoulaye Tarnagda, and I'm an 18 year old.
From 0 - 6, my life was pretty normal. I don't recall any memories from that time.
In grade 2 - 3, that's when I started to be seen as an outsider. My grade 3 teacher disliked me, whilst I wasn't a trouble maker, and I was sent to special ed classes.
When I gave candy to another kid in my class, he refused to take it because he thought it was expired. I was often given expired chips for Lunch. I was similar to another girl in my class who was ostracized and had no friends. I didn't talk much, and the other kids didn't want to play with me.
Grade 4, I had a new teacher, and I was still in Special ed classes. I recall a memory during Recess during spring, whilst there was still snow outside. There was a door outside of the building leading to the washroom. What I enjoyed doing was putting the snow over the hot door, and watching the steam. The 6th graders made fun of me.
In Grade 5, my Dad fought for me to be taken out of special ed. He went to the the principal and ranted at him of how "My son isn't going to go to special ed!"
I thought at least I had a loving family, but there was conflict in my parent's relationship happening behind the scenes. Something I wouldn't know for another 6 years.
I had stranger punishments around this time. I once took too much cereal, and was forced to eat all of it to not waste it. By the end of eating that, my stomach felt fully bloated. I don't know how I didn't vomit. I was beaten using belts and an iphone charger, which makes sense for a black family, my father originating in Burkina Faso and my mother originating in Mali. I sometimes had time outs for 8 - 9 hours.
Grade 6, I had a couple friends and I was seen as less of an outsider but that all went downhill in middle school.
Grade 7. The worst punishment of my life, was when me and my brother caused trouble in the library. I was told to take off my shirt. Do squats with my hands crossed pulling my ears. (Hey, wait a second. Maybe that's why my ears are so droopy. Those type of squats were a common punishment for me.) After 100 squats, I was told to go on my Father's bed, and he whipped me with a belt multiple times, hard. He left the room, came back, whip, left the room, came back, whip. I think it was 3 times. I had the same punishment of squats and getting whips from my Mother a couple times. I once ran down the stairs, grabbed the house phone and threatened to call the police on my Mother.
In middle school, where I'm from, kids from multiple different elementary schools in the area go to the same middle school. Despite being treated like an outsider in grade 2- 3 to 5, in grade 6, I was treated like a human at least, so I had an inclination towards kids from my own school.
In Grade 7, my binder was thrown into a urinal. I once was walking up the stairs as a class, and the popular kid who picked on me said to a girl "Abdoulaye is [Girlname]'s boyfriend" then she said "Ewwww!!" I was isolated and had little friends because I couldn't warm up to the kids at that middle school from other elementary schools.
I developed extreme social anxiety, and probably other mental issues too. In grade 7 and 8, I would stay in the school bathroom during lunch (something I would enjoy doing in high school.) and for fun, I would watch stickman gaming videos, pokemon, naruto on my iphone, and before I got an iphone I would play with the toilet paper.
I would sometimes chew it. I had pica, which is maybe why my teeth are fucked. I would chew on toilet paper, I would chew on plastic water bottom lids. I liked playing with my saliva.
I would play with the toilet paper, by taking 2 pieces of toilet paper, and basically making them fight each other until one got ripped (died.) I created ultimates, like a toilet paper could summon a hand to use "claw", to use "rasengan", I would get 2 pieces of toilet paper, swish them in my mouth and make a ball. For the whole lunch I was having those toilet paper imaginary battles and I can't even lie, it was fun as fuck. I genuinely enjoyed doing that more than I enjoyed using my phone at the time.
I also would spit on ants on the sidewalk to see what would happen.
My social skills obviously got heavily stunted. Being bullied, staying inside the middle school bathroom for my lunches, having little friends were all factors which played a role.
What helped me with my despair during those days was Naruto. I watched Naruto in my childhood, and I was introduced to it at 9. I completed Naruto and Naruto Shippuden and Rock Lee, Naruto, Sasuke, that was my cope. I literally included Naruto in some of my school projects. I would read the manga volumes when I was at the Library. I would play the Naruto Online mmorpg after school. Naruto in general was my biggest cope.
Grade 8 finished. Covid. Grade 9 online. Grade 9 was the start of high school.
I got addicted to Quora. I argued with a woman there when I was a 14 year old and she made fun of my nose in the argument, saying "Your nose is so big." with 3 laughing emojis beside it. She made fun of me, saying I was mentally ill, and I cried but moved on. Forgetting about that moment completely, months later.
For some fucking reason, I was actually good at high school. I was a C student in middle school. I was an A student in high school. Grade inflation from covid played a role, but in grade 9, I was getting high 90's. Through actually being good at 1 thing for the first time in my life, I obsessed about my grades. It was what I gave a shit about. Trying to get good grades alongsides watching Naruto in my childhood gave me motivation to live. It was in person in grade 10, and I was still getting good grades, I wasn't getting bullied, but I felt extreme loneliness because the high school I went to was in a completely different area, so I knew no one there from middle school or elementary school so it was a new environment. Eating lunch alone whilst watching others eat lunch whilst having fun is suifuel. I also got into Attack On Titan which was lifefuel because I was a big fan of Eren Yeager. Despite how dumb this sounds, Eren Yeager inspired me to keep living and get good grades even when I didn't want to study.
From my stunted social skills from doing my toilet paper battles and staying inside the school bathroom during lunches, not talking to people, etc. I focused on grades and I was isolated.
That isolation led to extreme depression in grade 11, so I wanted to fix that. Red pill arc.
Andrew Tate was popping off in 2023, so was Hamza Ahmed. I loved it. I was the biggest fan of Hamza Ahmed. I literally was a 17 year old at the time, and I cried watching Hamza cry in his video where he basically opened up about his experiences being bullied in school, trauma, etc. I had a will. It was my hope to live, beyond the Naruto moments and speeches I used to watch when I was in my despair. I thought self improvement and the redpill would save me.
Separation begins. My family life becomes hell. Infighting everywhere. My little sister is running away (literally, I had to catch her a couple times because she would pack her bag and leave), Mom's calling the cops on my Dad 5 times, I was prepared to throw hands with my own Dad one time. Court happens, 1 week, 1 week. So me and my siblings go to my Dad's for 1 week, then we go to my Mom's for 1 week.
At my Dad's, my sister ran away a couple times, my brother and older younger sister got into fights with my Dad often.
I can't go on to mention anything else pertaining to my family, because a lot worse happened, but I don't want legal problems for anyone.
I started posting on r/getdisciplined with my Hamza knowledge. I posted my plans and goals, and I got made fun the fuck of. That started getting obsessive. Self improvement was the only thing on my mind. I started quitting music. I tried to tear off anime from myself which made me cry sometimes because I loved it so much. I had extreme self hate. I had panic attacks. Waking up at 3 am and just opening my computer to start working out of stress. Doing things like polyphasic sleep. Self harm. I would punch my knee so hard it would bruise. Punching myself in the face and ribs. I honestly don't know how I didn't go insane. I was obviously crazy, but I lived through it. I would sometimes grab a kitchen knife to my throat, look into the mirror, and contemplate if I should try to slit my throat.
Back to the school bathroom in grade 12, I once locked the door because it was a single bathroom, lights off, then started fucking screaming. Crying, screaming, punching myself. Full on breakdown. I open up reddit to see the comments under my post on r/getdisciplined. Laughter, mockery.
That scene in the school bathroom in 12th grade summarizes my life. My leg is bruised from my punches. The lights are off, I'm in a school bathroom, and I'm sniffling. I go on reddit, and people are laughing under my self improvement post. Laughter in my extreme hell.
Later half of grade 12. I somehow continued self improvement. Continued trying to get good grades. I have a sleeper build, It look like I don't work out, but I have a good physique. Tried making friends. I made 2 friends irl in the last month of high school. High school ended, lost contact of them.
We only became friends because we worked on a group project together and I did most of the world because I was obsessed with school. We of course didn't hang out, but we talked on discord a couple times.
I go on the Monkey app (an omegle clone) in May, a couple weeks before I've joined this site. I get laughed at. I didn't expect that. I didn't realize I was ugly. How can I be ugly? I've been through so much. I've been through my parent's separation. I've been through isolation, mockery, bullying. But I follow Andrew Tate? But I follow Hamza? W-wha-what? How? My world is crashing down.
Here are some of the things people have told me on the monkey.app a few weeks before I joined here in May.
I ask a girl why she's laughing at me, she replies "Because you're fucking ugly' with a laugh then she skips.
"Ugly ass nigga" says a black man in a car.
"Stop looking at me like that, you're not handsome little nigga." says a different black man.
"Phft!!!" says a woman who skips.
"I'm not even going to say anything." says an indian man who skips.
"You're ugly." said an overweight women.
"Monkey."
"Your ears can hear each other."
A girl laughing then saying "Sorry, your nose is just so big", whilst she continues to laugh, then she skips.
I'm not even making that shit up.
I go on r/ugly, talk to some people there. One of the mods was a black man who I had a good conversation with. I went on looksmax.org because Hamza talked about looksmaxxing. I researched cosmetic surgery, I researched the blackpill. I basically wanted to fix my situation.
I decided to join here. I could empathise with you. I saw how you were marginalized. You had right wing views socially, which I liked, and you were guys who were unattractive like I was. I thought I could connect with some people here. I did. I enjoyed talking to people here. You were the few that understood me. I wasn't fully blackpilled at the time, but I did vent a lot and cope with jokes.
That was in May.
In june, I had a couple hundred posts. I did my exams, I didn't do terribly on them despite my poor mental health, graduated high school. It was done.
Summer break. I thought I would grow my youtube channel, learn coding, get in shape, do looksmaxxing.
I thought despite my hell, things were going to be ok.
July.
While I was banned on incels.is for making an immature joke, I decided to check out other communities. I wasn't suicidal despite being in despair, I checked out Sanctionedsuicide.net out of curiousity, neets.net, and I went in a server that would change the course of my life.
I went inside the fitxfearless discord server. I was ignorant, naive and stupid. I debated some of the members there about plastic surgery, cosmetic surgery, then I joined a live call with the owner, Fitxfearless, asking for his opinion. Asking him whether I would be a good candidate for cosmetic plastic surgery. (I lied about my age both times, to join here, and to join that call, I was 17 at the time of the call.)
I embarrassed myself, I got publically humiliated, and the video went viral. I turned 18 a couple weeks ago.
I had innocent intents and to this day, I'm still going to get a rhinoplasty and otoplasty, so it didn't even do anything but allow myself to be brutally humiliated. Shit didn't even change my mind.
It's August now.
I no longer feel sad, but rage.
You basically know my life now, so I'm going to move on to the core actual focus of this post.
I hate society.
I feel rage and hate. I hate society and the world. I hate the fact that I was bullied in school. I hate the fact that when I made self improvement posts on reddit, they were mocked. I hate myself as a person. I hate my position. I hate that I was mocked and publicly humiliated for my genuine question. Hell, I contacted the fucking suicide helpline because I hated my ugliness so much I was fucking suicidal about it. And for the world to mock that, I fucking hate. I hate being black and being seen as an inferior race. I hate being an inferior race. I thought trying to act more white would help, but it brought only fucking more mockery. I hate how everything is run. I hate this fucking website. I hate how inceldom is even a thing. I hate that in middle school, I was fucking chewing on toilet paper during lunches. I hate that I was isolated in high school.
I go on the fucking comments of the video 5 minutes ago. They're still fucking laughing. They're still calling me fucking pathetic and making fun of me. In elementary school, in middle school, online, real life, recently, I've been mocked for my entire fucking life.
Fuck this world. Fuck this society. It's pure garbage.
Dark Virtue
This section will get me involuntarily banned.
This is my fucking life goal. The goal I'll have until I die.
How things will turn out is I'll write this last section. I'll post it. I'll get hate and backlash. Maybe I'll get called a traitor. Maybe I'll be called a cuck or fag. The few comments not giving me backlash will tell me how it's impossible or unrealistic. It will hurt my feelings a bit (or a lot because I'm naturally a sensitive person), but I have to deal with it anyways.
I'll then be banned. Beyond that, there's a specific reason why I won't use this site any longer. It doesn't aid my intentions. Venting, complaining or rotting isn't what I want to do. It would only enrage me further.
My life goal is (1st aspect) to go from loser to winner, and (2nd aspect) to have any loser who doesn't want to be a loser, have the chance to be a winner.
That's putting it in its most simple form. Dark Virtue is seeking virtue (success) despite the dark (pain, suffering, despair). That's where the name came from.
I'll ascend, even if it takes years, and I'll make it so any truecel who wants to ascend, can ascend.
No one else has that goal. With the current trajectory, incels are just going to rot, then die. No one cares about incels. No one cares about losers or the marginalized in society.
If no one else has that goal, why can't I? If no one else is going to try to change that, why can't I?
I haven't smiled, laughed, or joked around fucking once in the last few days. Because I have burning rage and desire.
I'm not going to be like the nice guy who is easily manipulated anymore. I consider myself to be a serious person now.
For one I'm not hiding. If I was hiding, I wouldn't use my real name on the internet. Abdoulaye. That's the name i used for my youtube channel, tiktok, and instagram. I made a youtube video titled "I Hate Society" which got 2.4k views. My most popular tiktok got 5k views. I'm going to go on the fitx call again 6 - 8 months in the future. I'm not hiding for shit. I refuse to lose.
What is my plan to ascend as a truecel? What is the first aspect of what I call Dark Virtue? (I know that may sound cringe but it won't be in 10 years when it works.)
I'm going to seriousmax. If I'm going to get mocked, it's better to be mocked for being too serious and aggressive, then to be mocked for being too goofy and kind. I'm ok with being labeled as a cringy wannabe edgelord. That's better than being seen as a nice guy. I'll be serious and aggressive. If someone punches me, I'll punch them back, even if I get bloody knocked out. That's changing my personality in response to what I saw doesn't work. Smiling, letting people walk over me, being nice, there's no point in any of that. I'll be completely different in just one month. With sheer will, I will go from nice guy to aggressive and serious.
I'm going to back up my aggressiveness and serious with gymmaxxing and boxingmaxxing. Then in 5 years, people will be intimidated by me for real. That solves the problem of being a wimp, nonNT.
I'm going to social skills max to become a good speaker.
With just those 3 things, that solves the problem of being nonNT. If I learn how to speak well, I pack on muscle, and I act serious and slightly aggressive. That's the best alternative. If the problem was I was a wimp, I won't be a wimp. I can't be a wimp if I'm jacked and aggressive. That's an oxymoron.
I'm going to moneymax to afford the things I need, gym membership, cosmetic surgery, etc. I'm going to go to University for Computer Science, so I was going to learn software development but I'll have to probably find something else to actually moneymax. Moneymaxxing will be harder with my reputation, but I'll find a way somehow.
I'll fully softmax. Fix my acne, get a good haircut, alongside hardmaxxing, fix my teeth, nose, and ears.
I'm ugly, 5'6 and nonNT but I can ascend if I:
- Softmax
- Hardmax
- Intimidationmax
- Seriousmax
- Agressivenessmax
- Martialartsmax
- Gymmax
- Socialskillsmax
Because in 10 years after doing all of that, I'll look better, be more socially competent, I won't have a wimpy nice guy personality and I'll be a serious slightly agressive person with 'edge' that's not too much, I think I could ascend after doing all of that.
And if that fails, I'll make a new plan. My favourite anime character is Sasuke Uchiha, and I want to be like Sasuke Uchiha. Sasuke Uchiha would never give up so I'm never going to rot. I'm going to keep trying to find a way to ascend. I'm inspired by @Jason Voorhees , Adolf Hitler, Sasuke Uchiha, and the redpill content I watched before.
So far there's 2 incels I speak to who are doing dark virtue. I won't mention them, but one of them is eating clean and the other one is studymaxxing. Maybe in 10 years, they'll ascend.
The way to solve a problem is a reversal of a problem. If you're ugly, you can get facial surgery to be less ugly. If you're short, you can get limb lengthening surgery to become more tall.
If you're nonNT, there's ways to act more NT. If you're Indian, there's ways to whiten your skin to make your skin look more white, and you can hardmax on top of that to adapt to the skin whitening. Plastic surgery works well for asian people, because the surgical procedures are feminizing, so you'll look better after hardmaxxing.
"But if I get cosmetic surgery, my kid will inherit my genetic features."
Your kid can get cosmetic surgery too. If it worked for you, it will work for your kid.
I have the goal of solving inceldom because no one else has that goal. If no one else is going to try to do it, I will.
I'm not going to moralize anymore, and I'll leave for good.
Right now, I'm hated by all. The bluepill hates me because they think cosmetic surgery is against the subjective beauty standard, body positivity, etc.
The redpill hates me because they don't want you to talk about societal issues, and claiming that society is unfair is being ungrateful to your race or some bullshit. Everything is your fault according to the redpillers.
And the blackpill/you guys hate me, because I'm delusional. You want to rot and don't want to try to solve inceldom. You think I'm an idiot who will brutally fail, who won't ascend and who'll change nothing. That's a rational belief, and I'm delusional, but I'll do it anyways if I try hard enough somehow.
All of the sides hate me. I agree with the blackpill in which luck and genetics is what is the leading factor in one's life but I want to do whatever I can to change that. I've made it my life goal to find a way to make myself and truecels ascend because no one else has that goal. No one is coming to save incels. I'm going to try to take that role despite not being able to even save myself. I'll find a way. I'll do whatever I can to try to complete what is now my life goal. I've taken a role no one else has tried to take because no one cares about incels or solving inceldom. The bluepillers tell you idealistic fairy tales "just be a nice person", the redpill tells you to "Leave your loser friends behind", the blackpill says "Give up. It's over. Don't try." I hate all of those fucking options. It's not about being a nice person, losers shouldn't be left behind and I don't want to give up. I hate all of the options.
TLDR: I'm sub5 facially, nonNT, 5'6, with a reputation of being humiliated over the entire internet. I was bullied in middle school, isolated in high school, and have experienced parental separation, life as the son of a single mother, suicidal thoughts, mockery on a widescale level, self harm, etc.
It's been bad and I have it bad. I hate society and I want to change it. I want to solve inceldom for myself and others. I believe I can if I try to. That's my one and unchangeable life goal.
I would rather try to achieve that goal, and fail, then to rot and wait for death.
There's nothing else to say. I'll accept the consequences of this.
Ban me Moderators.
@Uggo Mongo @proudweeb
I broke the rules. I accept the consequences. I accept the hate. And I accept the fact I'll be banned.
Because I'm still a scaredy cat pussy, I'll quickly log out for a week and only check the replies to this post when I feel ready to. I won't respond to any replies because this is the last post, not that I can, because I'll be banned, but I'm dreading the responses already.
I basically want to take a position no one else is taking and attempt to solve inceldom. No one else is trying to solve inceldom, so I'll take that position.
I'll look at the responses to this post and the comments on my profile in a week. By then I'll be banned.
I think that's everything. The name of this overarching plan is Dark Virtue. So my life goal is Dark Virtue, meaning my life goal is to become a successful person and find a way to make any loser or incel who wants to become successful, become successful.
I'll find a way to ascend and I'll find a way to make truecels ascend. That is my life goal.
I'm definitely hated now. Probably going to be told some shit. I'm scared out of my mind. I can't read that shit today. Fuck a week, I need to delete my browser history and not even check for a month.
Fuck, I'm posting now.
I'll hit post and log out and delete my history as fast as fucking possible.
